Dream of: 15 June 1987 "Talance"

I was looking at a blonde woman (probably in her late 30s) lying on her back on a couch or bed, dressed in a long beige dress that clung to and highly accentuated her shapely body, especially her large firm breasts. I wanted to have physical sexual contact with the woman, but I hesitated because I realized I was her son. Finally, however, I perceived she wouldn't stop me if I initiated the contact, and I lay down beside her.

Almost immediately I began feeling her breasts, the pleasure of which met all my expectations. She seemed as eager as I to have sex, and I didn't restrain myself. The pleasure was extremely intense. I moved my right hand down between her legs and tried to move my hand under her dress.

***

I was looking at a newspaper picture of a man whom I thought I knew, but whom I couldn't precisely identify. I felt as if the man had been present when I had been with the woman, and I would like to know who he was. Gradually it occurred to me the man was Herrera (a Dallas attorney). About the same time, I also realized the episode with the woman had actually been a dream. And it occurred to me that Herrera had actually been present while I had been with the woman.

The idea of Herrera's being in my dream about the woman was rather disturbing. I had been developing the practice of showing people my dreams in which they appeared. Recently I had checked my index of people in dreams and had seen Herrera had never appeared in any of my dreams, although his wife, Boley, (also a Dallas attorney) had appeared in several. If I showed this particular dream to Herrera, it would be the first time he would have ever read one of my dreams.

I was hesitant to do that because of the context of the dream. I was quite uncertain how Herrera would react to, and interpret, my having sexual contact with the woman when I had been her son. And I was uncertain why Herrera had even been there in the first place. He might even think some veiled meaning was in the dream and he might somehow connect the woman to his wife, Boley. I felt quite uncomfortable about the prospect of showing him the dream.

***

I was in the process of moving to a new city which I identified as Cincinnati, but which I continually thought of as New York. I had just finished paying the rent for living accommodations in one section of the city and I boarded a car being driven by a fellow who was my companion.

As we drove away I thought about what I would be doing in Cincinnati. Basically, I thought that I would probably be living there about two years and that my primary goal during that time was to write. However I was also going to practice law to support myself. I realized I wasn't actually licensed to practice law in Ohio and it would be another year before I could be admitted to the Ohio bar, simply based upon the number of years I had practiced law in Texas. Yet I was thinking I might begin practicing law anyway. I knew it would be a crime to do so, but I thought if I watched myself, the chances of my being caught were slim.

I realized there would be some areas of law with which I wouldn't be familiar in Ohio. For example, I knew that in marital property law in Ohio there was a concept known as "courtesy" which had something to do with the woman's share of the marital property. But the concept didn't exist in Texas law, and I was unsure of its meaning. But I thought that probably wouldn't surprise anyone. For example if another lawyer in Texas were unable to tell me the time limit of the Texas Speedy Trial Act, I wouldn't think it peculiar, even though it was an area studied in law school. I thought I should be able to pass as an Ohio lawyer without much difficulty.

I knew my father was going to be glad that I was living in Ohio and it would relieve my mind somewhat to know that.

I thought about Weinstein and how he had once lived in Cincinnati. Our situation seemed similar in some ways. Like he, I would probably only stay in Cincinnati a couple years. The main difference was that he had been there so many years ago and I was there now. I might give him a call and talk with him about it.

I realized Cincinnati was quite a bustling city. It seemed vigorous, lively and growing. Although I had visions of part of the city lying sprawled along the banks of the Ohio River, I still visualized large portions which reminded me of New York City. In fact, I had one section of the city in mind, which seemed like a part of New York City I had once visited in a dream.

In the dream I remembered going to that section of New York and renting living accommodations. It had been rather challenging and intimidating to move to New York, but in the dream I had managed to do so. Now I thought that particular part of the city existed right there in Cincinnati and I wanted to go there. That was the section of the city where I would like to live. It seemed so much more interesting and full of possibilities.

I realized I had already rented other living accommodations in the other part of town, but I began to think I actually had a certain degree of power to change the past. For example, so that I wouldn't lose any money, I would arrange it so I hadn't actually given a down payment on the place I had just rented. Thus if I broke the contract, the only recourse the landlord would have would be to sue me. And I was scarcely worried about being sued since I had hardly anything that someone could take.

Yes, I was sure I wanted to live in that other section of town and I spurred my driver on to head there. I was sure there must be a large area of the city which we hadn't even seen yet.

***

I was looking in the yellow pages of a phone book. I noticed a listing for the word "Feckless." A rather long definition of the word followed and it appeared to be a rather curious entry to find in a phone book. On the same page I saw another listing which appeared to have something to do with talent shows sponsored by the state of Ohio. In the listing I saw the word "talance" and I wondered about this peculiar spelling of the word "talent" and I wondered from what language it came.

My driver had parked the car in the lot of a small store. We were still under way to the other section of town, but I felt as if there was something I needed to do in the road. I took a pick, walked out into the middle of the street and begin picking at the road. The top of the road was covered with several centimeters of recently laid black-top. It appeared to be hard tar and gravel mixed together. I picked at it until I had gone down four or five centimeters and had picked out the area about the size of a dish. There I saw what appeared to be the wrapper of a Nestle Crunch candy bar.

What exactly was I doing? I was suddenly uncertain just why I was out there picking a hole in the road. I no longer saw any need to do so and I rushed back to the car. I climbed in and told my driver to drive off. He asked me if I had repaired the hole I had made and I told him not to worry about it. He drove to the corner.

A car pulled out behind us and it looked as if the man in it was wearing a police uniform. I pointed out the fact to my driver and he agreed. I thought I might be in trouble for picking at the road. But nothing happened.

We turned the corner and I immediately noticed we were in the country. How did that happen? We were just in the city. It was quite scenic and lush green fields spread out all around us. But I really didn't have time for the view. I was in a hurry to find the section of the city I was searching for and I told my driver to head back to the city, which I thought must be nearby.

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