The following is an actual dream included in my dream journal, and does not describe actual factsDream of: 26 May 1987 "Showing Off"
I was sitting in the living room of the 29th Street House when I heard someone at the front door. I answered it and found Ellen standing there. She stepped in and we began talking. Although she was a bit overweight, I found her to be very attractive. Her black hair was becoming and she seemed to have the prettiest lips. I thought about how nice it would be to kiss them and began contemplating having a sexual relationship with Ellen. I knew that she was married to Jack and that I shouldn't be having those kind of thoughts, however I couldn't seem to get complete control of the thoughts. And I thought Ellen was thinking the same thing.
Finally as we were standing right in front of each other, I took her hand and placed it inside my pants on my penis. The erotic sensation was extremely pleasurable. Yet at the same time it began to occur to me that I was taking some serious risks. I realized that I had actually given up sex and that it would be a major disaster if I were to have an orgasm. In fact something very important dealing with my artistic talents would be irretrievably lost if I were to have an orgasm.
Plus, it also occurred to me that there was always the possibility that Ellen might have AIDS. It even seemed as if we had discussed the possibility recently and Ellen had expressed some concern that she might have AIDS. Certainly I didn't want to take that kind of risk.
However, I vaguely realized I was dreaming, and I thought the consequences wouldn't be that grave if I had an orgasm, because it was a dream. Yet I wasn't entirely sure I was dreaming. So the doubt was causing me discomfort.
At the moment, it was obvious that I was becoming so aroused by Ellen's hand on my penis, that if I didn't stop immediately I was sure to have an orgasm. With an air of finality I removed her hand from my pants and felt very relieved.
Ellen and I worked our way into the bedroom and it seemed as if Jack might also be in there. I still had an erection, but somehow my penis had been separated from my body, and either Ellen or I was holding it straight up in the air examining it. Meanwhile Ellen took off some of her clothes so she was nude from the waist down. The next thing I knew, she had somehow attached my penis between her legs, so my erect penis was on her body as if it had always been there. She walked back and forth in the room almost as if she were showing off.
But finally I pointed out to her two large windows in the room which didn't have the curtains pulled; and since it was night outside and we had the lights on in the room, people were probably watching her. She appeared to realize she needed to be a bit more discrete in what she was doing.
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