Dream of: 23 February 1987 (3) "Beauty Is Not Everything"
I had returned toPortsmouth, where a woman (probably in her early 30s) had picked me up in a red car to take me somewhere. The woman was blonde, had a very good figure and was extremely attractive. Although I had been away for quite a while, she and I were romantically involved. We had never had a physical relationship, but we had still become very close to each other.
I was happy to see her again. We were having a pleasant conversation when I mentioned that the previous day, two women (a blonde and a brunette) had come to see me at the office in the Gay Street House while I had been working and that I had talked with them. Actually I had more or less purposely brought the subject up to see if the woman would become jealous.
It occurred to me that the two women, although I hadn't realized it before, had definitely reminded me of two people I knew. The blonde had reminded me of Laura (a former high school classmate) and the brunette had reminded me of Nina Cahan (a Dallas acquaintance).
I told in the red car that I had wanted to speak a foreign language with the two women the previous day, but that they hadn't been able to. The woman with me didn't seem jealous and she just listened to what I had to say. But as I talked with her, I began to wonder why she and I couldn't speak another language together. I brought up the subject and I suggested that she learn one of the major languages which I spoke. She immediately became defensive. I remembered that she and I had discussed the subject before and that for some reason she had always refused to learn a language.
I pressed on and insisted on knowing why she wouldn't take the time to learn. I thought that she could surely learn just one language. That was all I wanted from her. But she became extremely upset and it was obvious that persuading her to learn was going to be futile. I knew how important the language issue was for me and I knew that if she didn't learn, I foresaw our relationship coming to an end.
She was extremely pretty. Her skin looked so soft and her blonde hair was simply beautiful. She, like I, looked much younger than she actually was. But I thought she was better looking than I. And I wondered a bit about that. I seemed to have had a knack for developing relationships with good-looking women, better looking than I. But I wondered if something was not lacking in all these attractive women. A phrase ran through my mind, "Beauty is not everything" which I recalled having read the day before but I couldn't remember where. It seemed true. Here was this beautiful woman beside me, but something was simply lacking. If she didn't even have the intelligence to learn one foreign language then something was definitely missing in her.
Abruptly I began to realize I really didn't know her all that well anyway. I didn't even know what kind of work she did. I turned to her and I asked what she did for a living. She seemed reluctant and embarrassed to tell me but finally she spurted out, "I'm a house trailer!"
I wasn't sure what she meant by that, but gradually she told me the story. She was presently a roommate for someone who lived in a house trailer. Apparently she took care of the place and therefore she didn't have to pay any rent. That was all she did. I began probing further and finally uncovered that her roommate was a male. I began to make a big deal of it and I insinuated that her services included a good deal more than just house cleaning. But I felt as if it wasn't really proper on my part to accuse her of something without being sure.
Still I said, "He probably even buys your food for you."
I wasn't entirely sure what I was getting at by saying that, but it seemed significant. I questioned whether she even owned the car we were riding in. I thought surely she did, but I thought I would question her about it anyway.
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