Dream of: 19 January 1987 "Fortune Cookies"

I found myself drifting on the ocean on what appeared to be a small raft, really not much more than a board. Much of the time I would just hang in the water, holding on. A couple familiar people (one of whom was Randy Ramey, a debauched friend from my late teens) were on similar rafts nearby. Suddenly concerned, I hollered and asked Ramey if he thought any sharks were in the water. He replied that sharks were definitely around there, but he neither thought that there were many nor that they were very dangerous. I clambered as well as I could onto the board and just hoped we would soon be out of there.

I soon received my wish because I spotted land, although not as I had expected. Suddenly, as I looked to my side, one house after another raced by as I rode my raft over high billowing waves. We now seemed to be floating down a rapid river and I didn't know how to stop. I hollered to the others who hadn't yet noticed the situation and they likewise became alarmed.

When we somehow finally managed to land on shore, I looked at what I had been riding: lying on the shore, the raft now resembled a simple pile of hay. I talked with Ramey and the other person and I became concerned because other rafts had been carrying all our possessions, including all my clothes. The other rafts were nowhere to be found and apparently had been lost at sea.

Ramey and the other person said they were going to search for the lost possessions and they immediately departed. I was uncertain what to do. A cottage sat on a hill close to where we had landed, but I didn't want to go there. It suddenly occurred to me I was completely nude except for a tee shirt.  When I saw a dark tee shirt lying on the shore, I thought I could perhaps cover myself with it.

Confused about what I should do next, I soon found myself sitting on a couch talking on the phone. I had meant to call someone in Europe about my going traveling to Europe. I had reached a number in England and I was talking with a woman who, although I didn't realize it at the time, seemed remotely like Sue, and who was apparently a secretary for some kind of organization in England. I explained to her that I planned to travel to Europe and work for an international-type of organization. She seemed dubious about the nature of the group and she began talking about a group with a bad reputation. The group to which she was referring was based in Great Britain. I told her the group wasn't the one to which I was referring. I did have some reservations, however, about the group about which I was talking, which was run by a black man (whom I didn't know) who seemed somewhat like Love Johnson (a Dallas business acquaintance).

I began telling the woman on the phone about the incident on the raft and how I had lost all my possessions among which had been a satchel of books. I told her that I had specially acquired the books and that I liked to have them with me. When she asked me what the books were, I described one as a French book in which I had been interested and I told her another was a German book entitled Traumdeutung by Sigmund Freud. A third book was Seth Speaks. I told her I always liked to have my Seth book with me.

At my side I carried one satchel which I had been able to save and which contained about a half-dozen black notebooks which contained my typed-up dreams. I had become accustomed to carrying my dreams (my most valued possession) with me. It was a good thing I had or they too would have been lost.

I continued talking on the phone with the woman, until I finally decided that the call was probably costing a lot of money and that I should hang up. Just as I said good-bye, I realized the woman was no longer on the phone. I didn't know whether she had become tired of listening to me and had hung up or whether we had been cut off. I put the phone back on the receiver.

Immediately I realized that I was at my mother's home and that I had been talking long distance to England for probably 20 minutes! That was probably going to cost about $40. Why hadn't I used a credit card? I had a calling card, but if I had used it, it would have been charged to my step-grandfather Clarence and my grandmother Mabel so that was no good. I would just have to send the money to my mother when the bill came.

When I stood up and walked into the toilet to brush my teeth, I saw my mother with an electric sweeper in an adjoining bedroom, headed for the toilet. There just seemed to be no place to go to get away from her constant cleaning. Disgruntled by her presence I left the house.

I knew exactly where I wanted to go and I soon found myself seated at a table in what appeared to be a kitchen of a house. Sitting across from me was a woman (probably in her 40s). She was a fortune teller and I had come to have my fortune told. She had already told my fortune once and now I wanted her to tell it again.

To tell fortunes she used chocolate chip cookies. She dealt out 30 cookies in front of me, lining them up in rows almost as if they were cards. I immediately noticed (and thought it significant) that the first and last cookies had been the same first and last cookies with which she had started, even though she had shuffled the cookies before beginning. She rearranged the cookies after she had laid them out, but the first and last ones still remained the same, which pleased me.

When I picked up one cookie, she told me that it looked as if music was important and that I had picked up the cookie of Franz Schubert. I thought I might ought to find out more about Schubert. I was unsure, but it seemed to me he had died when he had been 40 years old. I was already 34.

We proceeded. I was supposed to look at the back of the cookie and tell the woman what I saw. She asked me why I was holding the cookie so she couldn't see it. I told her I wasn't, it just looked that way because the cookie was crumbling. I showed it to her and she saw what I meant. When I then gobbled down the cookie and picked up another, she mentioned that I could take my time. She said if other people came to have their fortunes told, they would just have to wait. Nevertheless, I had the feeling I would need to go faster if others came.

When I picked up another cookie and looked at it, I began thinking I was going to go to Europe soon and I was concerned about what I was going to do there. Wondering how I was going to be spending my time in Europe, I said, "I see that I must look for work and not spend my days reading and writing."

When I noticed Frieda (a Dallas attorney) sitting in a chair in the kitchen, I didn't particularly want her hearing what I had to say, even though I wasn't particularly concerned with her presence.

I ate the cookie and picked up another. Some concentration was required before anything came to mind, but then I noticed a round ugly face seemed to be on the cookie with one tooth sticking up from the bottom lip. It reminded me of people I would probably encounter when looking for work. I said, "I see many crass people in this world who I must learn to deal with better."

When I spoke I became rather choked up. I realized that I definitely had difficulty sometimes dealing with people, especially those I didn't know, and that I needed to become less isolated and work on improving my communication skills.

I laid the cookie to the side and asked the woman if I could simply take some cookies with me when I left to eat later. She said that would be fine. I thought I might take some to my mother. I knew that my mother would know where the cookies came from and that she would be pleased since she believed in fortune tellers.

From where I was sitting I could see into the front room. A short thin man (about 50 years old) entered. He apparently was another client for the fortune teller. I hurried and picked up another cookie.

The cookie seemed more crumbly on the back than the others. One crumb (which was about to fall off) reminded me of a door. Other crumbs below it looked like steps and I imagined them leading down into a red fiery hell. I said, "I see the door to hell opening. I have sometimes ventured down there just to see what it is like and at times have lost my way there."

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