Dream of: 21 October 1986 (3) "Messy Plate"

I was living in the Gay Street House, staying in the upstairs bedroom which faces Eighth Street. My father was also living there and we weren't getting along: he was trying to control me. I wasn't happy there.

My sister was also there. She was in the kitchen with me as I prepared to eat something; I intended to use a special device out of which we obtained our food. First I had to put a plate inside something and then I had to stick my fingers in a hole and press something else. Some food would then be put on the plate. However, I couldn't seem to operate the device correctly. I stuck my fingers into the hole and pressed something which looked like ketchup plopped onto my plate. My food was rather messy. Finally I put away the food and my sister left.

I turned on the heat radiator and thinking about my father said to myself, "Well if I'm going to stay here then he's going to have to heat this room."

I thought, "I don't really need to stay here. I'm 19 years old. I'm old enough now to leave."

I would like to go to Mexico. My mother walked into the room and I told her I thought I was going to go to Mexico. She told me she thought I should go to Europe and that Europe would be much nicer than Mexico. But I thought Mexico would be the most appropriate place for me at the moment.

I also thought I would like to talk with my old high school classmate and friend, Anderson, about my being depressed. I had been feeling good for a long time and now that I was depressed, I thought maybe Anderson could help me a little.

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