What exactly was the Oedipal complex and did I have it?

Dream of: 14 October 1986 (2) "South To North"

I was living with my father, my mother, and two small sisters (about 3 and 9 years old). I was in a room of the house with the two sisters, who had a small Ferris wheel about five meters high. I poured some powder into the engine of the Ferris wheel; I thought the powder would make the Ferris wheel move faster. But the speed didn't increase and finally my sisters turned the Ferris wheel off.

After I lay down on the couch, my father (who had been upstairs with my mother) walked into the room. I had left some things lying around on the floor, and I noticed my father frowning about it. It seemed as if he were always angry with me about something. I stood and said that I would get up and clean it up.

One of the girls had turned the Ferris wheel on again and it was moving as fast as an electric fan. Obviously it would have been very dangerous if one of the girls had been on the Ferris wheel. When I told my that I had put some powder in the motor of the Ferris wheel, he became even angrier with me. Finally I looked at him and said, "You know, it seems like sometimes you hate me."

He replied, "I do."

I looked back at him and said, "Well the feeling's mutual."

He seemed to growl and said, "Well why are you staying here? Why are we living together anyway?"

I thought he wanted me to leave and I said, "Well then I'll just move out."

He seemed satisfied with that. But I had the feeling he still wanted me to stay around the area even though he didn't want me to live there. I had even been thinking about taking the legal bar exam to practice law there. When he mentioned the exam, I said, "I know where I'll go."

I thought I could go to Mexico. The word "Mexico" flashed in large bold letters in my mind.

I walked upstairs and began thinking there was also a small room in the attic where I could stay if I wanted. I thought of even going up to the attic right now to avoid my father. But I thought it would probably not be best for me to stay in the attic.

I walked into a bedroom where my mother was sitting on what appeared to be a chair watching television. She seemed surprised to see me. When I stepped closer to her, I saw that she was actually sitting on the bed. We lay down next to each other on the bed so that my head was near her feet and my feet near her head. Lying next to her seemed rather erotic and she even put one of her legs over my chest.

As I spoke to her, a show came on the television. It had something to do with "from south to north" and showed five Mexican teenagers trying to cross the border from Mexico into the United States. I told my mother I was soon going to leave and if she would watch what happened to the teenagers on the television she would have an idea of what was soon going to happen to me.

Traveling to Mexico would be difficult. I really wanted to study languages some more. But now I seemed to have studied enough; I needed to put to use some of what I had learned.

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