Dream of: 15 December 1985 "Running Like A Goat"

My ex-wife Louise and I were at the House in Patriot (the home of my maternal grandparents when I was a child, located in the small rural village of Patriot, in southeastern Ohio). Louise and I were getting along quite well she had been learning French and we were conversing in French. She was even considering going to France with me. She seemed as if she had matured quite a bit recently and as if she were on the verge of accepting some responsibilities in life.

After walking into a room by ourselves, we began hugging, kissing and being affectionate. Gradually we took off all our clothes and I decided to have sex with her. When I climbed on top of her, however, my erection had disappeared.

Nevertheless, I inserted my penis about half way into her vagina. She was very wet and seemed rather loose. I reflected that she was planning to marry her new boyfriend Vernon and that she had probably been having sex with him. I also worried that she might have had sex with someone else besides Vernon, and that she might have contracted a venereal disease. Having sex with her was probably dangerous for me (I didn't think she had a venereal disease but I was unsure). Since the thoughts were causing my erection to disappear, I stopped and climbed off. After we both rose, Louise said she was going to leave and come back later. She left.

After a while I thought about calling her on the phone. I knew she had gone to the house of her mother, Violet (who was my aunt, Violet). I knew Violet didn't really like me and I didn't care to talk with her. I didn't know whether I should try to call and simply hang up if Violet answered. I thought perhaps I should just wait for Louise to return.

I walked into the toilet, looked into the mirror, and saw my hair had grown quite long. It was hanging down to my nose in front and was also long on the sides and the back. Since I was going to France soon, I wondered if I should cut my hair before I left? The more I looked at the hair, the more I realized I liked long hair. I thought, "Why do people cut their hair when it looks so much better long?"

My hair was still at a stage where it didn't look that good but I thought if I let it grow a little longer it would look fine. Why didn't I also let my beard grow? I looked better with a beard and I thought having a beard seemed more natural. Nevertheless I thought I needed to get a haircut finding employment would be more difficult if my hair were long.

It was Saturday, either the eighth or ninth of June. I was still in law school. The day actually seemed like Sunday to me because I had just had a two day vacation on Thursday and Friday when I hadn't had to go to school. I was only going to have a few more days of school in the coming week and then I would be out for summer vacation.

Since it was Saturday, I thought the barber shop in the little town of Gallipolis (about 30 kilometers away) would be open. Plus I knew there was an open barber shop in the village of Rio Grande (about 12 kilometers away) where I had once had my hair cut.

I walked back into the kitchen where I found my mother and my maternal grandmother Leacy. I looked through the window outside and saw large snowflakes as large as softballs falling outside. My mother and my grandmother commented that they had never seen snowflakes so large. I was surprised that my grandmother, as old as she was, had never seen snowflakes that large.

I looked at the flakes more closely; the large flakes were actually made of many smaller flakes which had accumulated together on the earthward fall. The flakes reminded me of a kind of wind-blown seed I had seen before floating in the air.

After I walked outside, the flakes suddenly stopped falling, but I saw one large flake lying on the ground. I picked it up, held it in my hands and examined it. It was indeed composed of a number of snowflakes. In the center of each flake was a nucleus which looked like a seed. I examined the large flake more closely, showed it to someone standing next to me, and said, "Look at this."

As the person looked at the flake, I scrutinized it further and began pulling on the nucleus until I finally jerked a large evergreen branch right out of the snowflake. It had seemed as if the snowflake had actually just turned into the evergreen branch, about 10 centimeters long. I held the branch in my hand, uncertain what to think of the development.

My father and my maternal grandfather Liston walked up. My grandfather was a very small and a very old man. He wasn't getting around well. When my father said he was going to go for a ride and asked me if I wanted to go with him, I replied, "Yes."

The three of us walked over to my car and boarded, my father in the driver's seat and I in the back. My father wanted to take a ride to see the countryside and he began driving down the snow-covered road toward Gallipolis. However, he was driving the car backward instead of forward. The road was scenic and had farms along it. As he drove, my father talked to my grandfather about another road which might have been even more scenic.

As we rode along, I was concerned that Louise might call the House for me, and I wouldn't be there. So I wanted to return as quickly as possible. I thought my relationship with Louise shouldn't be so fragile that I would worry about never seeing or hearing from her again if I weren't there when she called. Nevertheless, since I couldn't really call her at her home, I was worried about what would happen if she were unable to reach me.

The road became clearer and clearer until it was free of snow. I made an uncertain comment to my father about his driving backward but he seemed unperturbed by my comment. I asked him if he were able to see (apparently he was looking through the rearview mirror as he drove) and he said he could. I looked out the rear window in the direction we were going to see if any traffic was coming. As we were going down one hill I suddenly saw a car coming toward us very fast up the hill and said, "There's one coming."

My father saw the car and stayed on the right side of the road and the car passed. We continued on until the road gradually became smaller and smaller. We went up a hill and crossed over some wooden bridges so small (they looked like foot bridges) I didn't even think the car would be able to get across them. I advised my father to be careful. Some stakes were sticking up out of the bridges and I was afraid he would tear up the bottom of the car, but we made it over the bridges.

We continued going up a hill. By the time we had almost reached the top, we were no longer in the car, but were walking. My father was in the lead, followed by my grandfather and finally by me. The hill was very steep almost like a cliff. We continued climbing until we had almost reached a thick cloud right over our heads.

I thought it was a shame the cloud was there because it would block our view. I didn't see much point in being there on the hill in the first place if we weren't going to be able to see anything.

My father seemed anxious to get into the cloud. When we reached a tiny plateau, my father and my grandfather walked into the thick cloud I didn't. I could hear them talking in the cloud and I thought they might be trying to play a game with me. But I wasn't sure exactly what was going on and I was unsure I wanted to enter the cloud, which was so thick that a person wouldn't be able to see his hand in front of his face.

As they wandered around in the cloud, I listened to them talk. Right beside the cloud was a steep cliff. Suddenly my grandfather stepped out of the cloud, didn't see the cliff and fell over it. He bounced and plunged down the side of the cliff. It was a ghastly sight. After he finally hit bottom, I looked over the edge of the cliff and saw him lying at the bottom, moaning.

When my father stuck his head out of the cloud, I warned him to be careful and pointed out what had just happened to my grandfather.

For an instant I was uncertain what to do. Suddenly I began running down the side of the cliff. Although I had experienced trouble coming up the cliff, my feet were now steady. I ran almost like a goat. I was able to jump from rock to rock as I darted almost straight down the precipice.

I knew I must reach my grandfather immediately if there was to be any hope of saving him. We could jump into the car and drive as quickly as possible I wished we had flashing lights to put on top of the car. I thought I would need to be very careful when I picked up my grandfather because he might have broken bones. Since he was so old, he had little chance of survival; but I thought I must try my best.

Meanwhile, even though my father was having difficulty descending, I confidently raced ahead. I heard my grandfather moan and I hollered, "I'm coming. I'm coming. Don't worry. I'll be there soon."

I knew my grandfather must be in terrible pain and I wanted him to know that someone was coming. I continued hollering out soothing words to him. His moans seemed to diminish somewhat when he heard me speaking to him.

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