The same lack of control which I have to control the action of my dreams seems parallel to the lack of control which Oedipus had over his destiny once that destiny had been predetermined by Apollo.
I was visiting my mother at her home in Portsmouth. I was lying on a bed in one bedroom, talking to my mother who was in the adjoining room. We talked for a while about Kay (my father's blonde second ex-wife, a couple years older than I). When I told my mother that I might visit Kay and that I might even go to bed with Kay, my mother said, "Oh. You're going to screw around with her."
I said, "Yea. I might."
I thought I might indeed go to bed with Kay. I tried to remember whether Kay still lived in the neighboring town of New Boston or whether she lived on Eighth Street in Portsmouth just a few doors away from my father's home. I finally concluded that she lived in New Boston. I remembered the last time I had been in Portsmouth, Kay had invited me to come and visit her. I was uncertain whether I should first tell my father if I were going to visit her.
I was also concerned Kay might have a venereal disease. I thought I would need to be careful.
After my mother and I had talked about it for a while, I realized my mother might be somewhat jealous of Kay. Finally my mother walked into the bedroom where I was lying naked in the bed. We planned to sleep together in the bed. Wearing a tee shirt and a pair of blue panties, she lay down beside me.
I rolled over on top of her. I felt comfortable with her because I had frequently gone to bed with her in the past. I had an erection. She spread out her legs and I began hunching her. I slipped my hands inside her panties from behind and began feeling her buttocks. She grabbed my penis with her hand. It felt as if at the same time she were pulling down her panties and as if she were trying to insert my penis into her vagina. I said, "Hold it. Hold it."
I wanted her to stop because I felt as if I were going to have a premature ejaculation; but it was too late – I suddenly ejaculated before she was even able to insert my penis into her.
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