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Dream of: 04 September 1984 "Chekhov"

Louise and I had been in a movie theater watching The Return of the Jedi. In one scene of the movie, while Leah and Han Solo (characters played by Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford) were lying nude together – Leah on the bottom and Hans on top of her – they began having sex. Leah's breasts and most, but not all, of her body were visible.

It startled me to see that scene on the screen. But I wasn't paying much attention to the movie, because Louise and I had begun having an argument.

We finally left the movie and went to an apartment where we were living together. Louise's mother, Vivian, was going to visit us. The argument escalated. Vivian was in a room across the hall; I knew she could hear us. Finally Louise decided she was going to move out. Vivian opened the door and barged into the room where we were, regardless of what I might want. She was intending to help Louise move out. I was sad, but thought I could do nothing to stop her.

As the two began packing Louise's things, I walked over to Louise and said, "If you leave now, I'm going to have to go back either to Puerto Rico or Portsmouth. You know once I buy the plane ticket and spend all that money I won't be able to return."

She didn't seem to care; I watched as she continued packing. Finally they carried things out and went down the street. I decided there was no way to stop her. The best thing for me was to leave and get as far away from Louise as I could.

I would probably first go to Portsmouth and then to Puerto Rico. So I left, arrived in Portsmouth and walked down Gallia Street about a block east of Gay Street, where unexpectedly I happily encountered Jerry Hall (an acquaintance from Portsmouth).

I felt very weak. My voice was weak and I felt terrible about having separated from Louise. But I knew I was just going to have to get over it. I didn't know exactly what to do to get over her, but thought I would have to.

Jerry and I walked into a building owned by my father, in the back of which was a movie theater. I walked up to the front of the theater and saw a poster with many different scenes from the Star Wars movie on it. The poster also had words on it. In the lower left corner was a picture of Leah with Hans Solo on top of her. I could clearly see her breasts and nipples.

Jerry began talking and we looked up at the marquee which had the name of the movies on it. Four movies were playing, two of which were listed on top of the marquee, two on the bottom. Although the same movie Louise and I had been watching was listed, I decided I didn't want to see it again. Jerry said he had seen the two movies listed on the top and that they weren't any good. The fourth movie was animated and I really didn't want to see it. So we finally decided not to go to any of the movies.

We began walking around in a large room which people were crossing from the front to reach the movies in the back. A ladder was lying on its side in front of the door which the people came through when they entered the room. I thought the ladder was probably there to hold the door shut. I thought the people weren't supposed to cross through that room and were supposed to go around outside to another door on the side.

I first told Jerry that my father had an easement across the room, but then corrected myself and said, "No, actually the other people have an easement to go across this area into the movie theater."

As we walked around the room, I remembered that Jerry used to smoke quite a bit of marijuana and I began thinking that I would like to smoke some. There wasn't much else to do in Portsmouth. After debating I finally asked Jerry, "You know where I can buy some pot?"

He said he didn't know and that he didn't smoke any more, but only drank alcohol. Although drinking alcohol didn't really appeal to me, I thought, "Well, maybe I'll just drink something."

While I talked, my voice was extremely weak and I rather felt like a small child. Finally I said, "Well, let's just go get a six pack then."

Jerry answered, "Well I already have a six pack in the car."

We headed out to the car. But then I stopped and suggested that we change into some blue jeans. Jerry said, "I already have some."

He then picked up a blue jeans jacket from somewhere and put it on. We continued toward the car and I suddenly remembered that I had thought that Jerry had died. It suddenly surprised me to see him alive; I was unsure whether I should tell him that I thought he was dead.

I knew Jerry was homosexual; but that didn't really bother me because I knew he wouldn't try anything sexual with me, since he knew I wasn't homosexual. I thought I would spend some time with him because I enjoyed talking with him and thought we could talk about many things. I knew he liked plays and I thought about the Russian playwright Chekhov. Maybe Jerry and I could discuss Chekhov some.

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