Dream of: 27 August 1984 "Transgression"

I had gone to look at a house which I was thinking of buying at a foreclosure sale. I thought it was probably going to cost around $34,000 or $35,000 and thought it might be a good buy. I pulled up in front of the house and looked it over. It was a small, brown, frame house which didn't look too good from outside. I walked inside and looked around. All the furniture was still in the house as if someone were still living here. The house appeared to be in pretty good condition, but I began thinking it was going to cost too much.

Another man and woman entered the house and began walking through it. I watched them as they talked with each other. They were standing in the living room about three meters from me, the man to the right, the woman to the left. I noticed that the woman looked like Leah and thought, "No that can't be Leah."

I knew Leah and her husband had moved away. The man and woman talked a little longer and the fellow said that the boards which had been used to construct the house were only half length about one and a third meters long. I realized the house was made of horizontal boards inside, and it looked as if it had been constructed from left-over pieces because the boards were only half the length of boards normally used in constructing a house. That would certainly cut down the value of the house.

I sat down on a couch and looked around. The ceiling was blue; but it looked as if carpeting, rather than paint, was on the ceiling. However, the ceiling did appear to be in rather good condition. I would like to have the house, but I didn't want to pay that much money for it.

I stood back up; finally the woman turned around and walked toward me. It was Leah. She put her arms around me. I immediately fell over onto my back and she fell on top of me. She lay on top of me. I was very happy to see her, since I hadn't seen her in such a long time.

We began talking and soon found ourselves lying on a bed. The person who had come with her was now a little boy who was walking around the bedroom where we were. As we talked, I learned that she and her husband were having serious problems and she had left him, although she hadn't yet gotten a divorce.

As we lay there under the covers I began to become aroused by being so close to her. She was only wearing a pair of panties and a blouse. I wanted to kiss her and finally did so. It felt very good. I let my hands roam over her body, without actually touching any private areas. I had one hand on each leg below her panties. I could tell that she was enjoying the caressing.

I pulled my right hand up under her blouse and began feeling her breast. She pushed me away and wouldn't let me continue. She wanted to stop completely, but I persuaded her to let me continue holding her and that I wouldn't do anything else. But I did continue caressing her legs below her panties and would sometimes let my hand lightly touch her panties where her pubic region was. A couple times I exerted a bit of pressure.

I was also concerned that Leah's husband might come in. Nevertheless I kissed her several times and enjoyed it very much.

A few times Louise crossed my mind; I realized I was betraying Louise with my actions. That bothered me, but I was already so involved, I was unable to stop. I simply wouldn't be able to tell Louise about what had happened; I would have to hide it from her.

I told Leah that when I had first seen her walk into the house I had thought, "That certainly does resemble Leah."

But I told her I hadn't actually thought it could be her because she was so far away.

As we lay here we were both apprehensive that someone would come in and catch us together. Finally we rose. Leah said she had to leave and that she would be back.

As soon as she had left, some other people entered the house. I began to realize I was actually in an upper story apartment. I could look out a window and see the street far below. The people were climbing up some stairs to enter the apartment, after having entered a door at the bottom of the stairs. I walked over and looked down the stairs.

Some people walked up the stairs and asked me if someone was there. I said no. About a dozen people came up the stairs and asked for someone. Every time I told them the person wasn't here. A couple black girls walked in and asked if Lonzo was here. I said no. Some more people then came up.

Then a black fellow who had been in the room reading a book walked up to me from behind. I asked, "Are you Lonzo?"

He said he was and he then went down to meet the black girls. I hadn't even realized he had been in the room with me.

Two more black fellows stuck their heads in the door and one said, "Vanessa?"

I said, "No."

They turned around and left. They were rather unkempt and were carrying back packs. I looked out the window and saw them below. I thought I was only on the second floor, but when I looked out the window, it looked as if the ground were about ten stories down.

I began thinking of Louise again. I thought if I had locked the door and I hadn't answered it when all the people had been coming up, I would have been concerned when I heard a knock that it might be Louise knocking and she would be locked out. I began thinking that I really did need Louise. She had some special quality that no one else, not even Leah, could provide. Although Louise often aggravated me, there was something unique about her; I didn't want to lose her. I began to regret my transgression with Leah.

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