Dream of: 24 April 1984 "Temptation"

I was with my step-grandfather Clarence and my grandmother Mabel in a house where they were living. My grandmother (about 40 years old) didn't look like herself.

I had put an ad in the paper for a secretary for my law office. A girl came to the house for an interview. She and I walked into one room, sat down and talked for a long time. She was a rather small girl and quite attractive. However, she smoked cigarettes and I wasn't that interested in her. But as we talked, our faces came closer and closer together until finally, although we didn't actually kiss, our lips touched. At the same time, I kept thinking about Louise. I couldn't actually betray Louise; but I wondered whether I had already betrayed Louise by letting my lips touch the other girl's lips. I was uncertain how I could even explain to Louise the fact that our lips had touched.

I began thinking about how many times I had told Louise I would never betray her. Yet nevertheless, I was so attracted to the girl here with me.

As our lips were touching, we were lying on the floor. The girl pressed my chest and said, "My, what muscles you have."

Indeed, my chest was quite muscular. When I looked at my stomach, however, I was bothered because it looked as if I were growing a bit fat around the stomach. The fat wasn't really noticeable, however, because I had my stomach pulled in. nevertheless, some weight had gathered there. The rest of my body seemed quite muscular and the girl seemed impressed by my muscles.

I sat up and spread my legs out. I was wearing a pair of cut-off blue jeans. The girl ran her hands up and down my legs. Finally she placed her hand on my penis and began rubbing it. It felt so good that I couldn't stop her, even though it caused me pain to think about what was happening. I wondered if I should go ahead and have sex with the girl and not tell Louise about it. I had thought I would never do such a thing, but now that the opportunity had presented itself, it was almost too tempting to resist.

Suddenly my grandmother walked into the room. I could tell she was upset about what was happening. I felt ashamed and jumped up. After telling the girl to wait a minute, I walked into the next room with my grandmother. I said to my grandmother, "You've got to get her out of here. I can't possibly hire her."

She said, "I know. We'll get rid of her."

I could only think I wanted to get away from the girl because I didn't want to betray Louise. I was already feeling intensely guilty about what had happened. At the same time I was somewhat perturbed about my grandmother's spying on me. I knew she had good motives, but it bothered me she would spy on me like that.

I raced back into the room where the girl was. By this time I could tell she basically thought she had me in the palm of her hand. I stood behind her, pulled up the dress she was wearing and put my penis up against her butt. I was getting ready to hunch her; but I sensed my grandmother was standing around the corner watching us. And indeed my grandmother was there getting ready to spy on us. So I stopped, walked out to my grandmother and said, "You really shouldn't be spying on us like that."

Nevertheless I wasn't angry with her because I knew that she had the best of motives and that I was in the wrong. I then said, "But we've got to get rid of that girl. Come in here with me."

We both walked back into the room. I thanked the girl for the interview and all three of us began walking toward the door. But my grandmother and the girl then began arguing and my grandmother said something about how that kind of girl was bad for young men like myself. The girl retorted something and a short argument ensued. I said something and tried to smooth things over. I said to the girl, "I'll be calling you tomorrow."

I could tell the girl thought for sure she had the job. But I definitely wasn't going to hire her. I just wanted to get rid of her. I was intensely attracted to her and I wanted to get rid of her before I made some terrible mistake which I would later regret. I showed the girl to the door and she left.

I began talking to my grandmother and felt good that the girl had left. But I felt somewhat guilty about what had actually transpired. I was still in a highly aroused state. But I felt good that I had overcome the temptation. I at least had won that battle. 

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