Dream of: 04 January 1984 (2) "Oh, Lord"

I was on the top bunk of a bunk bed in the bedroom of a house in which Birdie (my first love for four years when I was 16-20 years old) was living in Portsmouth. I could hear Birdie in the kitchen with her child, which seemed to be making a gurgling sound.

I was wearing a pair of pajamas and was unsure whose they were, but thought they might belong to Birdie's husband, Rick.

Since I hadn't seen Birdie in such a long time, I wondered what I was doing there. Then I remembered Birdie had picked me up earlier that morning and brought me over. It was either Saturday or Sunday.

I began thinking about Louise (whom I didn't want to betray by seeing Birdie), but I was unsure my relationship with Louise would continue. Nevertheless I wasn't planning to actually have an affair with Birdie. I just wanted to see her. I knew, for instance, I wasn't going to kiss her. And of course I wasn't going to have sex with Birdie.

When Birdie walked into the bedroom, I asked her where I was. She told me I was at her house and I asked, "Am I at your house in New Boston?"

She replied, "No, this is my place on Seventh Street."

I asked, "Where are your parents?"

She said they were home and I asked, "Is there any danger that they'll come here?"

She said, "Oh, they might."

I thought that would be embarrassing. I knew Birdie's husband wasn't around at the moment, but I was concerned that even he might show up.

She walked over to the bed and stood beside it. She climbed onto my bunk and lay down beside me. Although I put my arms around her, I wanted to tell her I wasn't going to have an affair with her. I knew she understood that. She knew I wasn't going to kiss her. When my head was turned away from her, I felt her kiss me on the ear.

I continued thinking of Louise. Even though I had no intention of betraying Louise, I wasn't going to tell Louise about Birdie. I thought if things didn't work out between Louise and me, I might return to Birdie.

Birdie looked radiantly beautiful, as beautiful as when I had first met her. Finally she rose and walked back into the kitchen.

I suddenly realized that I had been dreaming, and that I had actually already arisen and written part of the dream. I picked up the papers I had written, which appeared to be almost like a book. However as I looked at it, I realized, what I was reading wasn't what I had written when I had awakened, but was what I had written in the dream itself. I knew I needed to rise and recopy what I was reading.

I began looking at the writing and realized how intricate and descriptive the first couple sentences were. I had described going to Birdie's house and entering through the right door of an apartment. I had described an "artifice" over the bedroom door and the word "artifice" surprised me. I knew I had meant to say "arch" and I  thought it important that an arch would have been over the bedroom door.

Suddenly I heard a knock at the door in the next room and hollered to Birdie, "Who is it?"

She answered, "It's my parents."

I thought, "Oh, Lord. What am I going to do now?"

I climbed back into the top bunk. No sooner was I there than Birdie's mother, Mary Alice, and her father, Bishop, walked into the room. Bishop looked somewhat like my law school professor, Peeler Williams. Her mother, looked the same as always.

Bishop sat on the bottom bunk, but his head was raised so high he could see up where I was. He didn't seem friendly. I was surprised to see him still alive. He didn't even appear to have aged since I had last seen him. Mary Alice stood in the middle of the room. I finally said, "Hi."

They said, "Hello, Steve."

I said, "Well, I suppose you're surprised to see me here. I don't know quite how to explain this."

Mary Alice said, "Well, you don't really have to explain. They haven't outlawed outlaws yet. So you're still able to be around."

I began to get out of the bed. I was now wearing a pair of pants and the top of my jogging suit. Over that I was wearing a blue jean Levy jacket. I jumped off the end of the bed and said, "Well, I'm not exactly an outlaw anymore."

I was thinking about my now being a lawyer. Mary Alice answered, "Oh, yea. I know. I've been keeping track of you, but I still can't understand what you're doing here."

I said, "Yea. That is a little difficult to explain."

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