Dream of:26 September 1983 (2) "Terrific Pain"
While I was in classroom #105 on the second floor of the Baylor Law School, somebody handed me my second quarter practice court test. When I opened it, I was elated to see a "B" written in pencil at the top.
I had thought I was going to make a C in practice court, which would have brought my average down. I had recently made a B+ in another class. Those grades were going to look well on my transcript. I could probably just pack up my bags the next day, go to Houston and find a good job.
Louise was in the classroom; I wanted to show her my grade. We had been partners in practice court; had she made the same grade? I walked out of the room without saying anything to her, however, because we hadn't been talking to each other lately.
I walked downstairs to where the grades would be posted on the first floor next to the students Social Security numbers. If the grades had been posted, I would be able to tell what Louise had made because I knew her Social Security number. I likewise knew Louise would be able to tell what I had made. I thought it might even impress her that I had made a good grade; she might want to return to me because of it. I passed Dawson on the way, but he didn't say anything to me. I saw the grades hadn't yet been posted and started down the stairs. I saw Witt (a law student) and he asked me how I had done, but I just walked past without answering.
Louise, wearing a white sweater, was at the top of the stairs. She had changed so much I hardly recognized her. She was looking at her test paper. I thought about showing her my grade, but I didn't really care about doing that. However I did want to talk with her. I knew I shouldn't, but I just couldn't resist. I walked up and spoke to her. She walked past me as if she didn't even see me and went down the stairs. I followed after her and said, "Wait. Wait."
I wanted to tell her if she really didn't care about me, then she would talk with me. She looked as if she were in terrific pain; I wished I could do something to relieve it.
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