Dream of: 24 August 1983 "The Greed Destroys Us"

While my sister and I were in a house in which my father was living in Portsmouth, my sister told me Kay had left my father, and before she had left, Kay had considerably damaged the house and destroyed some things in it.

My father and Kay walked into the room. In a small room in the attic my father had stored some of Kay's possessions, which he wanted to return to her. I followed him as he walked up the stairs to the attic to fetch the possessions. In the attic I was surprised to find a small room  like a closet. The room probably wouldn't be noticed by anyone unless he were looking for it.

We returned downstairs and I began thinking since my father and Kay had separated, I might want to have an affair with Kay. I was planning to be in Portsmouth for about a week. I remembered my father had recently told me of a particular bar in New Boston which Kay frequented. I thought perhaps I would go there some night and find her. I thought about touching her breasts and pubic region, but the idea hardly appealed to me.

I walked outside and boarded a pickup truck in which I thought Kay would be leaving. Instead of Kay, however, some other people (including a law student named Yanik who looked a bit like Kay) climbed into the front seat. Since I didn't want anyone to see me, I lay down in a compartment behind the seat.

They started off, rode around for awhile and finally stopped. As they climbed out, I looked at the driver and thought he would see me; but if he did, he didn't say anything. I watched them walk into a building, waited a few moments and then followed them in.

Inside, the building seemed to be some sort of night club. Many young people dressed like punk rockers were sitting around at tables in the room.

I sat down at a table with a couple girls. One with short blonde hair especially netted my attention. One girl, with the butt end of a marijuana joint in her mouth, was talking about whether "the guy could see them."

I thought she was referring to me. Suddenly I also had the butt of a joint in my mouth. After I had inhaled deeply, allowing the smoke to curl from my mouth, I threw the butt on the ground. I noted exactly where the butt had landed, in case I might want to retrieve it later.

I looked around; a fellow at another table was apparently using snuff. I stood up and walked to the back of the room, where I found a small corridor which I began walking down. I didn't know what to expect at the end of the corridor, but I thought the people I had followed in had gone down it. I also thought Sussie (an old girlfriend from Portsmouth) might be in the room at the end of the corridor.

The corridor was long. At first I didn't think the corridor was going to be wide enough for my head to pass through. I closed my eyes and continued moving. Suddenly I experienced the exhilarating feeling of having my body pass through the walls.

I became lucid and realized I was dreaming. It was a rather vague realization and I wasn't entirely clear. I felt quite groggy and uncertain of the situation, but I was still convinced I was dreaming and I felt quite happy about it. I especially liked the sensation of passing through solid objects. I decided to do some somersaults. I jumped into the air, did a somersault and landed on my feet. All the while I had my eyes closed.

I became intensely aware of what I was doing. I felt I had entered a room and I could feel the presence of two other people in the room. I asked if anyone was in the room. I wasn't surprised to hear Jim Johnson (a fellow who worked as a realtor in the Law Office in Waco where I was working) respond. He seemed calm. We began talking and I told him I was having a lucid dream. The other person in the room apparently didn't believe I was having a lucid dream, but Jim believed me. I could tell Jim was interested. When I moved my hand, the other person acted as if I were just trying to prove something by moving my hand.

I seemed to be having profound thoughts. I spoke out to Jim, "It is the greed that destroys us."

I remembered Jim had brought a cake to work that day and I had eaten a piece of it.

I was unsure I could find my way back to the main room. I thought perhaps Jim could take my hand and lead me back.

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