Dream of: 12 May 1983 (2) "Cathouse"

Louise and I were at the 29th Street House. My mother was out of town for the weekend and I had invited a number of people over for a big party. After they arrived, Louise kept looking at me as if to say, "What in the world is going on?"

I wasn't quite sure myself. I hadn't been expecting so many people. As more people showed up, I was afraid they might damage something. I just wanted everyone to leave so I could be alone with Louise.

I decided to open some boxes of canned food which I had bought in 1980 so the people could eat. I pulled a can out of one box and opened it. It contained beef stew. Since I didn't eat meat, I decided to give the cans in that box to another fellow here. I showed the cans to him; but he didn't want any of the food.

The party progressed; more people marched in. I saw a fellow I had met a Baylor Law School named Kent. We opened up some mushy spaghetti and put it into a bowl. Kent began picking at it. I was afraid all the vegetables in the cans in the boxes had become mushy because they had been there for so long.

Mitchell (a law student) showed up and began running around the House. He ran into the kitchen where there was a green bowl with ornate, little, green cups hanging from it which belonged to my mother. Suddenly I heard a crash Mitchell had knocked one of the cups off and broken it.

I walked into the kitchen and said, "The party is over. Louise and I are leaving. We've decided to go someplace. So everybody else is going to have to leave."

Some people were miffed, some were angry and some understood. Everyone began marching out. Louise and I became separated. I waked outside and I boarded a car with another fellow. He began driving around and we talked. I soon realized he was in love with Louise and he was going to ask her to marry him. He had only known her a few months and didn't know her as well as I did. I asked him about her. I didn't want to say anything which would make him feel differently and change his mind about marrying her. But I wanted to know just how well he knew her. I said, "Well, I really don't think you know very much about Louise's past."

He seemed dim about it. I asked him if he had ever noticed how she didn't like to talk about her past.

He didn't respond; I could tell he didn't know much about her. I was trying to bring out the point that Louise was adroit at being deceptive and changing the subject if she were asked about her past. I wanted to point out how expertly Louise could blank out her past so it was difficult to learn anything from her. Obviously the poor fellow didn't know anything about her. I asked, "Well, for instance, do you know how many different people she's gone to bed with?"

I was convinced he didn't know. I wasn't even sure he knew I had had sex with her. I had the impression he thought she had had sex with two people. I knew Louise had had sex with several different people, but I didn't want to say anything. I was unsure whether she had had sex with this fellow. I thought she had, because I didn't think she would marry him without first having sex with him. I thought he probably knew I had had sex with her; but he didn't seem sure. I asked whether he knew she had lived in California.

He did know that. I myself couldn't remember what kind of job Louise had had in California, but I did know she had lived there. It seemed she had had a peculiar job and the man for whom she had worked had been named Jim. I knew Louise had had sex with that man, but I figured she hadn't told this fellow about that affair.

I was trying to ask in such a way as to bring up subjects without telling him I actually knew anything.

He seemed to be getting the message; but suddenly he began talking about himself. I didn't pay much attention at first, because I was thinking about what I was trying to say to him about Louise. Suddenly I heard him say something about .".. giving somebody some money and ending up in a cathouse with some woman."

He was telling a rather sordid story about himself. I had the feeling one of the reasons he hadn't questioned Louise thoroughly about her past was because he didn't want to reveal this story about his having been with a prostitute in a cathouse.

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