Dream of: 07 November 1982 "Having My Chips"

I was sitting in the library of Baylor Law School. Lately I had been spending time talking with Miller (a fellow law student) and I had come to be fairly good friends with him. But after we had been together for several days, I had stopped being with him. Before Miller, I had been spending time with someone else.

Witcher (a fellow law student) walked up and began talking with me. He seemed like a nice fellow; in many ways he reminded me of myself. He would be the type of fellow I would like to work with after I graduated from law school. I knew his father was a lawyer somewhere in the area. We talked for a while until I rose and left.

I went to a class which appeared to be in the practice court room, except the seats were like those found in a movie theater. I sat in the far back of the class on the right side. Instead of a lecture taking place, a series of short trials was being held on the stage in front of the class. A jury of about seven or eight men and women was sitting in the jury box. Two teams of two lawyers each were conducting each case against each other.

Each trial was short and seemed to consist solely of closing arguments. Each of the two lawyers on each team would stand and give an argument before the jury. After each trial finished, the people in the full class would vote by applause. I sat here a long time watching the trials; I finally grew tired of them and began reading a book.

The last trial finally began. Haim and his partner were on one team and Mitchell (a law student) and his partner were on the other team. I was still reading my book while Haim gave his argument to the jury; but I stopped reading and looked up when Mitchell began giving his argument. McSwain was the judge.

Frank walked over to the jury box and said, "Now friends, I want to say something about one of Haim's questions."

McSwain stopped Mitchell and told him his walking up to the jurors and calling them friends was obnoxious. 

Time was running out; the class was about to end. After Mitchell had been interrupted, he couldn't remember where he had been in his argument, and was unable to continue. He just stood there trying to remember his next point. McSwain had a written copy of Mitchell's argument in his hand; Mitchell tried to look at it. Then Mitchell looked at the table where he had been sitting, but he just couldn't seem to remember what to say next. His confusion lasted for several minutes.

It must have been about 5 p.m.  time for the class to end. The jury suddenly stood and walked across the stage, even though Mitchell was still trying to remember what he was supposed to say. The jury headed out the door and Mitchell still couldn't remember. After the jury had left, the class began to grow restless as if the people wanted to leave; a murmur passed over the room. The class seemed to be trying to decide whether a vote should be held to determine the winner. Some people seemed to think voting would be unfair because Mitchell hadn't had an opportunity to finish. Someone near the front of the room (perhaps Boley, a fellow female law student) said we shouldn't vote now ... that we should give Mitchell a chance to finish later. Some people stood up. I wanted to vote and I suddenly hollered out loudly, "Vote now!"

Someone else chimed in and hollered, "Yea, vote now!"

It was rather confusing how a vote would take place, but someone said, "For Haim" and many people began clapping. Someone else said, "For Mitchell" but not many people clapped for Mitchell. It seemed clear to me that Haim had won. The noise quieted down and I hollered out, "Haim wins!"

Someone else echoed, "Haim wins!"

Although it seemed clear that Haim had won, I was unsure the vote would actually count. I was sure, however, that I wanted Haim to win.

People began milling about. Spence (a law student) walked up to me and said someone two or three rows down had told him that I "had my chips." I knew that was a British slang expression meaning I was in trouble; I thought, "Well there's only one person who could have said that."

That person had to be Louise. I walked down a couple of rows; she was sitting in a seat next to the aisle. She seemed to be wearing a red dress and had on bright red lipstick. She stood and began walking. I walked close to her in the crowd, but lost sight of her for a moment. I turned around and said, "Did you say I'd had my chips?"

I then realized that when I had turned around, I had spoken to Duesler (a law student), who I had thought had been Louise standing beside me. Duesler looked confused about what I had said to him and I realized my mistake. Then I saw Louise; I walked over to her and asked again, "Did you say I'd had my chips."

She acted coy. I could tell she was angry with me about something, although I was uncertain about what. She didn't seem as if she wanted to talk about it at the moment.

We walked out of the room and into another room where we found some foldable chairs and sat down. She was on the aisle to my left; to my right was sitting a girl who reminded me of Strewsbury (a female law student). Apparently Louise wanted to do some studying, but I wanted to do something else. Strewsbury asked what I could do and I replied, "Well I could just go out and fly a kite."

I noticed it was raining outside; flying a kite wasn't a good idea. Louise was listening to what I was saying as I continued talking with Strewsbury; I asked Strewsbury about a steel mill  in town. I told Strewsbury that  I would like to go to the steel mill and I asked Strewsbury if tours were given through it. She said she thought so. Louise spoke up and in a chiding manner asked why I wanted to go to the steel mill. I replied, "Well because I think it'll be educational."

As we talked, Louise somehow looked different. When she would open her mouth, her red lipstick would rub off onto her teeth so her teeth would turn red. She would close her mouth and the lipstick would be washed off her teeth. She would open her mouth again and her bright shinny teeth would again turn red, as if red paint had been smeared on them.

Apparently Louise was trying to study evidence and she was involved in what she was doing. However, she obviously wanted to talk with me, even though she didn't want to admit it.

I was anxious to go somewhere, perhaps to the steel mill. Since I obviously wasn't getting anywhere talking with Louise, I finally stood and prepared to leave. Before leaving, I walked over to Louise, put my hand on her head and caressed her hair once.

I was just getting ready to walk out when she said something. I knew then that she didn't really want me to leave and that she wanted to talk with me. I said something to her; she rose and we began walking along together. We began talking about studying. Then she said something about my feeling insecure.

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