Dream of: 09 June 1982 "Lucid Calmness"

I was sitting in a restaurant at a round, wooden table talking with Leah (a law school classmate, my age, with whom I became friends in law school). After a while Leah rose and left apparently to go to the restroom.

When a girl sitting on a bench close to my table spoke to me, I walked over and sat beside her on her left. She had brunette hair which fell down around her shoulders, cascading into her face so I couldn't distinguish her features well at first. When I finally did see her face clearly, I perceived it had dark, red marks on it. I was unsure whether she had a skin disease or whether the marks were birth marks. Other than that, she was quite pretty.

She began telling me she was also a law student and was a quarter behind me in school. She said people in her quarter gossiped a great deal. I thought perhaps she was going to tell me some gossip, even though I wasn't particularly interested in hearing it. Instead she began talking about her personal life and said something about her child. I was surprised and blurted out, "You mean you have children?"

She replied she did. She said she had not just one, but three children. I asked whether they were boys or girls. She said something that sounded like "Bruce" or "Baron." Since the Spanish word for male is "baron", I thought maybe she had said something about "barones", but then she said they were all girls. I commented about how young she looked and said, "You must have started out awfully young."

While we talked she seemed to be drawing closer to me and I detected a certain mutual, sexual attraction, but still I was rather repelled by the red marks on her face and I didn't want to kiss her. I looked across the room and thought I saw Leah. I thought if Leah came back I could say, "Well, here's a girl I could easily take to bed," as if to prove how easy it was for me to find women. Considering the girl's face, however, I thought my success wouldn't be very impressive.

When I turned back to the girl, she was right next to me. She placed her hand across me onto my left leg clad in blue jeans. She slipped her hand up and placed it right between my legs. For a split second I thought it felt good but then immediately knew I wanted her hand away from me. But it was too late. She dug her fingers into my genitals and squeezed as hard as she could. I thought I heard her say, "Now I gotcha."

I tried to pull her hand off but it was futile. I feared I was going to be badly injured.

Suddenly I realized I was dreaming and I became lucid. A certain calmness set in. I knew I could either continue in the situation and try to control it or I could command myself to awaken. I choose to awaken because I just wanted to escape.

I awoke somewhere in the country. I had picked up a short log and placed it on my shoulders, but then I realized the log had ants in it and I threw it to the ground. As I bent over to examine the ants, I heard a buzzing around my left ear. I thought it was some kind of wasp and I began swatting at it with my left hand.

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