19820602

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Dream of: 02 June 1982 "Bright Orange Light"

While sitting in the back of a class being held in a building in Patriot, Ohio, I was recording the lecture on my small tape recorder. I pressed the wrong button on the recorder and began having difficulties with it. Although not loud, the recorder began playing something which I had previously taped. I could hear it and Randle (a law student), sitting next to me, could hear it. I was uncertain whether the professor could hear it.

Three or four times I tried to correct the problem, but every time I pressed the wrong button and the recorder began playing. The recordings seemed to be of previous lectures which I had recorded. Once some pretty flute music came across the recorder. The flute was being accompanied by another instrument. It was so good, I was uncertain whether it was my flute music I had recorded, or someone else playing the flute. I thought it might even be a radio station.

I walked outside to see if I could straighten out the tape recorder. Randall left with me. We were standing on a small street. Randle asked me what I was doing. I explained that I was working on my tape player, which was also a radio. I showed him the place where the ear plug could be inserted.

We moved a bit so we were standing behind a large black van which was between us and the school building. The school building was a one-room white building, sitting on a hillside. It almost reminded me of a church.

I continued working on the tape recorder, still making some noise. I hoped no one inside could hear it. Suddenly, I looked up; professor Newton was standing in the doorway of the building. He had been the professor in the class which I had just left. He was wearing a long coat. It was dark outside and everything around him was dark. But a bright orange light was shinning in the doorway behind Newton, highlighting his silhouette. Randle said, "Uh oh. There's Newton. We better get out of here."

Randle left and I thought, "Well, maybe I better hide so he won't see me. Well, no. There's no reason for me to really hide. I don't care."

When I continued working, Newton walked down behind the van to where I was. He squatted down and began talking with me. I suddenly realized I was standing in a muddy area, and every time I moved, I got more mud on me.

Newton didn't seem angry, but he was very forceful with what he was saying. He expressed his dislike for my recording. Apparently, he was upset because I had made noise while I was recording, although I wasn't quite clear why.

I had long hair falling down around my eyes. I had pulled it back, but still was looking at him through the hair. Newton's hair was also longer than usual, and he looked somehow different than usual. As he talked, I looked into his eyes, trying to understand what he was trying to say.

Earlier in the class Newton had compared students to moles. He had said that if a professor paid any attention to students, then the students would just act like moles and do things for the professors.

As Newton continued talking, I finally understood that he wanted me to do something for him. There was some kind of connection behind him and me; he was paying special attention to me—he was somehow favoring me. I should therefore feel like a mole, willing to do his bidding. He didn't act condescending or disdainful; his behavior was simply matter-of-fact. He was simply giving me an opportunity to prove myself.

He said he had done the same thing with someone before, and that person had done what Newton had wanted. He explained what he wanted. He said that every morning I had to gather wood and bring it into the school room for a fire. My job would be to go out and gather the wood. Newton was detached as he spoke. He didn't show any feeling toward me. He simply had picked me out for this chore.

I didn't have to do it, and I didn't particularly want to do it. The job sounded so menial; I might do it. But it seemed as if it would take much effort to go out and gather up wood. I debated whether I wanted to. I wasn't even sure where I would get the wood. I thought, "Well, maybe the woods already been gathered up around here."

Newton said something about "helping others help themselves" or "helping them help you." I said, "Well, the first thing I could probably do to help myself would be to step out of this mud."

I moved a bit to step out of the mud to a dryer place while Newton talked. He told me he was a lawyer with developed capabilities. He said he worked for a nationwide backpack company and a tin shoe corporation. He mentioned another company he worked for, then said, "Now those are three companies I'm now working for."

I thought that backpacks did have a useful purpose. I tried to understand what he was saying about these companies for which he was working. It seemed as if he were trying to say that this represented something. But I detected a bit of diffidence in him, as if he were somewhat unsure of himself. At the same time, I detected a great deal of confidence, as if he did have a plan behind his actions. He seemed fairly young, and a bit shaky. Yet he had something he was trying to tell me.

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