The vest laced up tight in the front like a medieval dress. The black, cotton-lined, leather left her arms and throat and quite a bit more skin bare. Nikki touched the dark blue lacings thoughtfully and then let them hang loose. The vest had belonged to one of Sundeep's myriad girlfriends, left behind after yet another fight. Sundeep's girls were always leaving things behind. He certainly had no use for them, so Nikki ended up inheriting quite a few decent pieces of clothing. A good thing since her clothes were getting rather ragged as of late.
Nikki tucked the bottom of the vest into her black jeans - yet another discard - and examined herself in the bathroom mirror. Skin shaded pink and tan from days wandering New York, from napping at noon on Sundeep's roof, from soaking in solar energy like a houseplant. Eyes set like round star sapphires in her angular face, framed by long, curling strands of white and manic-panic blue hair. A quartz crystal wrapped with copper wire hung at her throat, an old Yule gift Sioux made for her a long time ago.
Out of deep memory, Sioux's smoky twanged voice echoed through her mind. "Life is mainly about two things: learning and having fun. I've spent all year learning. Now is the time for fun." A smile flashed across her face. Where was Sioux now? Raising hell at college, probably. Maybe she would track her down sometime...
"Hey, Sundeep, I'm gone. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"Which is to say, do whatever the hell I want, yes?" Sundeep replied from somewhere deep within the bowels of a physics text. Sundeep Patel was a lean, dark young sci major from NYU, and a real soft heart for kids with big smiles and idealistic outlooks. The fact that she had pulled him back to the sidewalk just as a speeding Toyota ran a red light where he had been crossing helped too.
"Of course. See ya."
"Have fun kid."
After the door closed, Nikki waited for just a moment, making sure no one was watching. Lizbeth was serious about not letting people see. But it was dark and the street empty so Nikki eased her hold on the sidewalk and let herself float. The wind carried her up and she started towards the strip of clubs down the block.
Flying felt like… the only real life experience she could relate it to was speeding down I35 in Sioux's mom's convertible, going to Betwixt or Deep Ellum or Insomnia. It wasn't just the feeling of wind whipping through her hair, turning it into a mass of white, tangled curls, though gods know how great that felt. It was the feeling of freedom and rebellion and excitement all churned into one big stomach-clenching mass of anticipation. Flying was like that except there were no potholes to throw you, no slower cars to mess with your momentum, no worries about whether or not mom and dad would find out that you weren't really spending the night at Jen's house. It was like being completely disconnected from the real world. Like melting into the sky. Like becoming one with the wind. Flying was complete, utter freedom.
Sadly, it didn't take her long to get to the club Sundeep had recommended. Separating from the winds, she landed softly behind the club. When Nikki had asked her new roomie what clubs she should check out, this was the one he had raved about. Sundeep had gone on about the arches and stained glass windows and the music and the dancers. He said she had to go there, that if it weren't for finals he would take her there himself. But she was fine on her own. In this new life, she was always fine.
The birth date on her ID, her old expired Texas drivers' license, put her at just past 19, old enough to get her in the club. Once inside, lord and lady, what a place. It was everything Sundeep said it would be and more. The walls radiated energy, soaked up heat and emotions and things Nikki could not put into words. On the dance floor, she could practically see the swirls of energy, lines of it connecting each dancer as they moved to the music, looking like the thin strings in dream catchers. It was like watching ancient rituals, primitive and beautiful and reverent. For a moment she stood in the entrance, uncertain of what to do. She wanted to touch the arches, to run her hands over the granite bar, to melt into the concrete walls and just merge with the whole place. Then she was caught up in the flow of people, swept onto the dance floor. And she was moving from person to person, dancing with ever changing sets of burning eyes and dark clothes and aching hearts. In her mind, Lizbeth's voice chimed in ~Tell them. Help them.~ And when each song ended, she would lean into them and speak quickly into their ears. "She does love you. You can get it published. Yes, it is worth it, it always is. No, that's not the answer. Take the job. You are on the right path. Death is only another beginning. There really is somebody up there." And just as quickly, she would disappear into the throng of dancers.
Later, when the thrill of dancing had faded slightly, Nikki found herself leaning against the cool black granite of the bar. It felt grounding, solid after the high of music and movement. She was sipping some drink, cold, bitter-sweet vodka and chocolate. The name had made her order it: a velvet hammer, just like the band from back home. It was okay; vodka was never really her favorite but the chocolate evened it out.
The night was young and starting out pretty well if she said so. It had been forever since she had gone out dancing and drinking. Over… it had to be at least two years now since she had last slipped into Clearview or the Blackout Room or the Cave with Sioux and Louis and a fake ID. Much too long to go without dancing. Sure, they had danced up in the Summerland, but it was on a completely different level; an apples and oranges comparison. This was… real. Alive. Nikki leaned against the granite bar, sipping in chocolate vodka and atmosphere. She could get very used to this.
Go back to the Notebook
