Got any good horse jokes? Then please send them in! You may email them to me or use this FORM.
A man takes his horse to the vet. The horse gets a check up. The vet then says
to his nurse "This horse is only to pay 1/4 of his bill." The nurse
The vet replies "Because he's a Quarter Horse!
Submitted by: Katherine
Why did the cowboy sleep with his saddle on?
In case he caught any nightMARES!
Submitted by: Jaclyn
I went riding today.
Sure! It came back before I did.
Did you hear about the horse that got a job in a watch factory?
All he did was stand around making faces.
I came down with laryngitis last week.
One day, while I was petting a Shetland Pony at the zoo, a friend of mine asked,
"How are you today?."
I responded, "I'm feeling a little horse."
If one horse and rider is traveling in one direction down a narrow pass at
20mph, when will they meet?
Sooner than they want to!
We lost our horse. It got away while we were on vacation.
Why not put an ad in the newspaper "Lost & Found" column?
Dont be ridiculous. He can't read!
Girl: We have a mayor. Do you?
Girl: What do you call it?
Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
Submitted by: Lauren
I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. The other day I
went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started
bouncing out of control. I tried with all my might to hang on, but was thrown
off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, my foot gets caught in the
stirrup. When this happened, I fell head first to the ground. My head continued
to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as I was
giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Walmart manager came and unplugged
it. Thank Goodness for heroes!
An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a
country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny.
The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he
backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man's car bumper. Then he yelled,
"Pull, Nellie, pull." Benny didn't move. Then he yelled, "Come
on, pull Ranger." Still, Benny didn't move. Then he yelled really loud,
"Now pull, Fred, pull hard." Benny just stood. Then the farmer
nonchalantly said, "Okay, Benny, pull." Benny pulled the car out of
the ditch. The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he
called his horse by the wrong name three times. The farmer said, "Oh, Benny
is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn't even
It was a sunny afternoon when Bob said to George, "Hey, George, why don't
we get ourselves 2 horses? We could ride them in the summer and in the winter we
could put them in the paddock behind the house." George thought it was a
great idea, so the next day they went out and bought themselves 2 horses. They
rode them in the summer, but when winter came George got worried. He said
"Hey, Bob, how are we going to tell them apart next spring?" Bob said,
"Well, I'll shave the mane off mine and you shave the tail off yours."
This satisfied George, so he did. The next spring when they went back to get
their horses they found the horses' hair had all grown back. Alarmed, George
said, "Oh great, now how are we going to tell them apart?" and Bob
said, "Well, you can have the black one and I'll take the white one."
A cowboy goes into a bar, has a beer, walks outside and finds his horse has been
stolen. He walks back into the bar, fires his gun through the ceiling.
"Which one of you mothers stole my hoss?" he yells. No one answers.
"All right, I'm gonna have one more beer and if my hoss ain't outside by
the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas." He drinks another
beer, walks outside, and his horse is back. So he gets on it and gets ready to
ride out of town. The bartender walks out of the bar and asks, "Say pardner,
what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turns to him, and says, "I had to
bloody walk home."
A lady buys two horses but she can't tell them
apart. Her neighbor tells her to trim one of the horses tails. So she did. But
the other horse gets its tail stuck in a bush and gets its tail cut in the same
place. So then the neighbor says to pierce one of the horses ears. So she did.
But the other horse gets its ear stuck on a bob wire fence and gets its ear
pierced in the same place. So finally the neighbor says ''Why don't you measure
one the horses and see which one is taller.'' So she did. Well the owner was
relived to find out that the black horse was 6 inches taller than the white
Submitted by: Pam