Horse Jokes
@ The Horse Lover's Corral

Got any good horse jokes? Then please send them in! You may email them to me or use this FORM.
A man takes his horse to the vet. The horse gets a check up. The vet then says to his nurse "This horse is only to pay 1/4 of his bill." The nurse asks why.
The vet replies "Because he's a Quarter Horse!
Submitted by: Katherine

Why did the cowboy sleep with his saddle on?
In case he caught any nightMARES!
Submitted by: Jaclyn
I went riding today.
Horseback?
Sure! It came back before I did.

Did you hear about the horse that got a job in a watch factory?
All he did was stand around making faces.

I came down with laryngitis last week.
One day, while I was petting a Shetland Pony at the zoo, a friend of mine asked, "How are you today?."
I responded, "I'm feeling a little horse."

If one horse and rider is traveling in one direction down a narrow pass at 20mph, when will they meet?
Sooner than they want to!

We lost our horse. It got away while we were on vacation.
Why not put an ad in the newspaper "Lost & Found" column?
Dont be ridiculous. He can't read!

Girl: We have a mayor. Do you?
Horse: Sure!
Girl: What do you call it?
Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
Submitted by: Lauren

I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. The other day I went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. I tried with all my might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, my foot gets caught in the stirrup. When this happened, I fell head first to the ground. My head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as I was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Walmart manager came and unplugged it. Thank Goodness for heroes!


An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny. The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man's car bumper. Then he yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull." Benny didn't move. Then he yelled, "Come on, pull Ranger." Still, Benny didn't move. Then he yelled really loud, "Now pull, Fred, pull hard." Benny just stood. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Okay, Benny, pull." Benny pulled the car out of the ditch. The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times. The farmer said, "Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn't even try."

It was a sunny afternoon when Bob said to George, "Hey, George, why don't we get ourselves 2 horses? We could ride them in the summer and in the winter we could put them in the paddock behind the house." George thought it was a great idea, so the next day they went out and bought themselves 2 horses. They rode them in the summer, but when winter came George got worried. He said "Hey, Bob, how are we going to tell them apart next spring?" Bob said, "Well, I'll shave the mane off mine and you shave the tail off yours." This satisfied George, so he did. The next spring when they went back to get their horses they found the horses' hair had all grown back. Alarmed, George said, "Oh great, now how are we going to tell them apart?" and Bob said, "Well, you can have the black one and I'll take the white one."
A cowboy goes into a bar, has a beer, walks outside and finds his horse has been stolen. He walks back into the bar, fires his gun through the ceiling. "Which one of you mothers stole my hoss?" he yells. No one answers. "All right, I'm gonna have one more beer and if my hoss ain't outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas." He drinks another beer, walks outside, and his horse is back. So he gets on it and gets ready to ride out of town. The bartender walks out of the bar and asks, "Say pardner, what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turns to him, and says, "I had to bloody walk home."

A lady buys two horses but she can't tell them apart. Her neighbor tells her to trim one of the horses tails. So she did. But the other horse gets its tail stuck in a bush and gets its tail cut in the same place. So then the neighbor says to pierce one of the horses ears. So she did. But the other horse gets its ear stuck on a bob wire fence and gets its ear pierced in the same place. So finally the neighbor says ''Why don't you measure one the horses and see which one is taller.'' So she did. Well the owner was relived to find out that the black horse was 6 inches taller than the white horse.
Submitted by: Pam


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