Quotes (1994-2000)

I've been keeping track of funny or unusual things that people have said. I started this when I was in seventh grade. Many of you were not aware of this. As the years have gone by, either everyone around me has gotten crazier, or I have lowered my standards. I can't think of any other explanation for why I suddenly have so many quotes. Oh well. Yes, this could definitely be considered obsessive-compulsive behavior.

I realize you may not find some of these funny at all. A lot of their charm was in the way they were said. Either that, or you just had to be there.

Not all of my teachers have been quoted; some of them just never said anything really remarkable. On one hand, I've had Frau G for almost five years, but I have no quote from her. (Attention! I got my first Frau G quote on January 12, 2000!) But perhaps Frau G says remarkable things constantly, and therefore, they seem ordinary. I don't know. You can also read my Liners page.

7th grade:

• "You don't know what to do with what you have." --Mrs. Herrin
• "There are people here that want something, but they don't even know what it is." --Mrs. Herrin

8th grade:

• "Students sometimes fall through cracks and roam the halls." --Ms. Burpo, 8-??-95

9th grade:

• "If you have chicken products, cook 'em. If you have beef products, cook 'em. Especially hamburgers." --Dr. Winsor, 9-18-96
• "Location, location, location. Remember those three words." --Mr. Sager, 9-26-96 (I really remembered them, huh?)
• "Oh, come on! You're a girl!" --Charlene W., 2-15-97

10th grade:

• "I am not wasting paper to amuse myself." --Ms. Crawford, 8-28-97
• "Happiness is having eight electrons." --Ms. Gornek, 9-25-97
• "It's numerical order, and you can't stop it!!" --Susan L., 11-20-97 (She's said a lot of strange stuff. Click here to read more.)
• "I'm sure it has a name because humans name everything." --Mrs. Boston, 5-6-98
• "I don't mind a catch-up day. We don't have any French fries to go with it, though." --Ms. Failla, 5-11-98
• "You need to wake up and smell the roses. Green tea is fine. Ginseng, too." --Ms. Crawford, 5-14-98
• "Can I quit after I learn how to quit?" --Susan L., 7-3-98 (Look! There she is again!)

11th grade:

• "No, I'll just use a book." --Brad S., 8-14-98
• "We get a calculator full of numbers, all of which are meaningless." --Mrs. Craig, 8-17-98
• "Oookay. So in addition to being crazy, I have also forgotten how to graph." --Helen L., 8-17-98 (me!)
• "For the next 25 minutes, I want you to be nonloquacious." --Miss Butz, 8-19-98
• "It's not Mr. Normal Parabola anymore, it's a tired Mr. Normal." --Ms. Brown, 8-27-98
• "Cesar is not my backpack." --Amy T., 9-15-98
• "Those negative values will eat your lunch." --Ms. Brown, 9-17-98
• "You have to know what Mr. Normal Everything looks like." --Ms. Brown, 10-15-98
• "Helen, you've been hanging around yourself too much." --Susan L., 1-11-99
• "______ is a poodie head." --Kristen C., 2-8-99 (name has been left out to protect Kristen)
• "Fractions are our friends. We like fractions." --Ms. Brown, 4-12-99
• "Again, you know, silly me, I like to start at the beginning." --Ms. Brown, 4-14-99
• "I'm always losing my chalk. It always just walks away." --Ms. Brown, 4-19-99
• "It's a limiting idea. It's getting as close as you possibly can and never reaching there." --Ms. Brown, 5-??-99
• "I think I'm allergic to shrimp. Can I have yours [someone else's shrimp]?" --Helen L., 7-1-99

12th grade (fall semester):

• See Thornberg-isms
• "The trash can is funny." --Tom P., 8-31-99 (I later named the trash can Rinaldo.)
• "It's not like they woke up the morning of 1066 and said, 'Oh, let's have the Middle Ages now.'" --Ms. Fisher, 9-13-99
• "I might be saying the title wrong, which is a favorite thing of mine to do." --Ms. Fisher, 9-16-99
• "They were afraid the body was booby-trapped." --Ms. Fisher, 9-16-99
• "I've been tsked." --Oneika A., 9-17-99
• "There's nothing in the middle except for yellow stripes and dead armadillos." --Coach Welch, 9-21-99
• "Quiet! I'm the only person in here that's allowed to be crazy!" --Mr. Cohen, 9-21-99
• "I was not black then." --Chris J., 9-23-99
• "No Jims allowed." --Lynn P., 9-23-99
• "Well, maybe I'm crazy." --Coach Welch, 9-30-99
• "Wait! I think I like it!" --Chantal M., 10-7-99
• "His blindness didn't affect his eyesight." --Nate N., 10-14-99 (in reference to John Milton, a Renaissance poet)
• "That better not be my Jack you're abusing! It is! Stop abusing my Jack, you Jack-abusers, you!" --Ms. Fisher, 10-21-99
• "It's a true fact!" --Jim P., 11-6-99
• "So sit back and relax, and watch the overhead screen." --Mr. Cohen, 11-15-99
• "Keep them! Go home and eat them!" --Mr. Cohen, 11-18-99
• "Did you eat the turkey, or did the turkey eat your brain?" --Mme. Alnaamani, 11-29-99
• "I'm 38, and I couldn't care less about the gross national product." --Coach Welch, 12-2-99
• "I don't want to go to time-out!" --Dominique ?, 12-2-99
• "Non, je regrette. Je n'ai AAAGH! pas de stylo." --Mme. Alnaamani, 12-6-99
• "You're going to use 'nous' because you are a bunch of people." --Mme. Alnaamani, 12-7-99
• "The muffin started to tumble off my coffee, and since it was a nice soft muffin, I didn't want it to fall, so I let go to catch it. The coffee spilled out through the lid and kind of soaked me." --Mr. Cohen, 12-7-99
• "NO!! My tongue!" --Sally W., 12-13-99
• "________! Fix this! Those are not flies!" --Ms. Fisher, 12-17-99 (name has been omitted)

12th grade (spring semester):

• "No, you're not confused. Look here." --Mme. Alnaamani, 1-11-00
• "How do you know? Maybe I have a mysterious bunny rabbit in here named Adam." --Frau Gerstacker, 1-12-00
• "And then you see all the little fingerprints where everybody's gone dot-dot-dot-dot-dot." --Ms. Tatum, 1-12-00
• "It's funny how everything seems so profound when you read it that slow...'and-then-she-took-a-step.'" --Morgan T., 1-12-00
• "Why don't you get out some sesame blocks and spell it out on the floor for him?" --Frau Gerstacker, 1-13-00
• "He likes to hop around and eat furniture." --Frau Gerstacker, 1-13-00
• "I'm a Gemini. I'm going to die twice." --Eric O., 1-13-00
• "Because, you know, they were so well-organized in taking drugs and all." --Austin M., 1-13-00
• "Did Momma drop you on your head this morning?" --Ms. Waihman, 1-14-00
• "The verb is ending with eh-eh-eh-eh." --Mme. Alnaamani, 1-14-00
• "I'm allergic to chocolate. Physical chocolate, not mental." --David L., 1-18-00
• "You don't just go into the hospital and ask for this thing because there's a good chance that you'll die." --Mr. Cohen, 1-18-00
• "Yeah! That's why they gave me this dress for the party!" --Mr. Cohen, 1-21-00 (while pointing to a toddler-sized traditional Chinese outfit)
• "Maybe he's talking to me. Maybe she's talking to me. Maybe I'm talking to myself." --Lori M., 1-24-00
• "This is ungrammatical tripe!" --Ewa M., 1-24-00
• "You're always late. You get your stuff here on time, but you don't get here on time." --Mme. Alnaamani, 1-27-00
• "I used to pretend my shoes were pumps, even though they weren't." --David L., 1-27-00
• "Oh, he's combing his eyebrows! That's so cute!" --Helen L., 1-27-00
• "My grandfather is antique, but he's not dead." --Daisy W., 1-28-00
• "Why do you keep updating me on your apple count?" --Helen L., 1-29-00
• "Well, I can't help it. It's an English-teacher-thing." --Ms. Fisher, 2-1-00
• "I don't know...I never know what these pink things say." --Ms. Fisher, 2-1-00
• "I'm picking my AP team. Do you want to hear the starting lineup?" --Mr. Cohen, 2-1-00
• "Isn't this a good idea? Gum-on-a-stick?" --Sally K., 2-3-00
• "Oh look! An air sandwich!" --Gabriel T., 2-5-00
• "I am a half-way rabbit." --Susan L., 2-6-00
• "Now that your brain is fully saturated, let's kill it." --Ms. Waihman, 2-8-00
• "Stop killing me with this! I'm allergic to it!" --Mme. Alnaamani, 2-9-00
• "It was one of those yuppie more-money-than-taste places." --Ms. Fisher, 2-9-00
• "It doesn't say 'I wandered lonely as a cumulus cloud.'" --Ms. Fisher, 2-11-00
• "Girls are falling down from the sky." --Morgan T., 2-11-00
• "Because it's in the poem and you told me I had to get the couch in!" --Ms. Fisher, 2-11-00
• "Kaider, stop turning around and bothering Jonathan. Jonathan's not turning around and bothering the blackboard." --Mr. Cohen, 2-14-00
• "Are you, uh, wearing your makeup, Steven?" --Mme. Alnaamani, 2-18-00
• "No, he's not going to lend you the door. He's going to lend you the pen." --Mme. Alnaamani, 2-18-00
• "Well, I didn't like it because it took apples in vain." --Ms. Fisher, 2-18-00 (in reference to "A Poison Tree" by William Blake)
• "This is almost as exciting as the book was!" --Elliott R., 2-23-00 (in reference to a video about the Brontė sisters)
• "C'est combien. Rrrrrrrr." --Mme. Alnaamani, 2-25-00
• "They say it's a college or something." --Gabriel T., 2-25-00 (in reference to Texas Baylor University in Waco)
• "Let's all just point at Anthony and laugh." --David L., 2-28-00
• "It was a me-clone, I tell you!" --Ewa M., 2-28-00
• "Stainless skill!" --Susan L., 2-29-00
• "You know, guys, I think your locker is going to start talking French at the end of the semester." --Mme. Alnaamani, 3-2-00 (addressed to the students who don't bring their books to class)
• "We need our outline with it?! That's homosexual!" --Nate N., 3-3-00
• "You don't like my name? That's a bunch of beef stroganoff. That's what Mr. Johnson said." --Tiffany L., 3-6-00
• "Why's it pink? Pink makes me nervous." --Patrick H., 3-6-00
• "I can have a good time without dancing in front of 5 million people." --Daisy W., 3-6-00
• "Oh no! Where's my car?!" --Daisy W., 3-6-00 (looking at her backpack)
• "You shut up and be the nice boy you never are!" --Tiffany L., 3-7-00
• "What's wrong with your eyes? Oh, it's the reflection of your notebook." --Mme. Alnaamani, 3-8-00
• "I want you to put yourself into a group." --Mme. Alnaamani, 3-8-00
• "I am the game!" --David L., 3-8-00 (in reference to the Stock Market Game played in economics class)
• "Those of you who are awake. Those of you who aren't awake. Go to Table G." --Mr. Cohen, 3-8-00
• "Who didn't follow what we just did? I'm going to punish you by making you do it over." --Mr. Cohen, 3-8-00
• "That's so unfair. I'm so hungry." --Mr. Cohen, 3-9-00
• "I'm doing better because I've given up on suicide, homicide, and accidental homicide." --Susan L., 3-13-00
• "I don't know! So if you don't vote for someone, they can beat you up!" --Ms. Fisher, 3-20-00
• "Beard-y. Uh, yes, it feels beard-y. He yawns...he needs oxygen." --Morgan T., 3-22-00
• "Torture by poetry." --Ms. Fisher, 3-22-00
• "Get this straight, people! This is not an ellipse that happens to look like a circle!" --Ms. Waihman, 3-23-00
• "You have Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man? Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha!" --Ms. Fisher, 3-23-00
• "I can read it with my eyes." --Daisy W., 3-23-00
• "Is this the class I told about the toothpick in my foot?" --Ms. Waihman, 3-24-00
• "She's here. She's just behind her backpack." --Daisy W., 3-24-00
• "She probably thought it was a joke test...she didn't understand why it was so easy...whoop...she made a mistake... he's so goofy..." --Mr. Cohen, 3-24-00 (while grading pre-cal tests)
• "A 92? Dang it! Mommy's gonna whip me tonight!" --Debra W., 3-25-00
• "I'm a good girl! I go to church! I go to church as often as I can!" --Katherine S., 3-25-00
• "I need to upgrade my brain." --Gabriel T., 3-27-00
• "The book is not a happy bounce-up-and-down book." --Frau Gerstacker, 3-27-00
• "When people get money, they don't just stick it in the bank or put it in their pockets and hide with it...they spend it!" --Ms. Waihman, 3-28-00
• "You know, you guys bring in all this sugar candy, and I eat it, and then I go MENTAL! It's the SUGAR! Whoo!" --Mr. Cohen, 3-29-00
• "I suck at being smart!" --Sally K., 3-30-00
• "So we have the other members of the family, the invaders..." --Mme. Alnaamani, 3-30-00
• "I wouldn't be like this if my uterus weren't trying to crawl its way out of my stomach." --Morgan T., 3-30-00
• "I was looking at my watch the other day, trying to figure out why it'd been noon for the past five minutes." --DeNard S., 3-30-00
• "I saved your life! You should think for me!" --Jack L., 3-31-00
• "No! I want you to pay attention, silly boy!" --Ms. Waihman, 4-10-00
• "So, not only are we asking you to study hard, now we're asking for blood, too." --Ms. Fisher, 4-10-00 (in reference to the school blood drive)
• "Can we have a principal in the front office please?!" --frantic voice over school loudspeaker, 4-10-00 (could it be principle instead of principal? hmm...)
• "Okay, your first assignment is to do my work for me." --Ms. Fisher, 4-11-00
• "Oh no! Mommy's learned sarcasm!" --Helen L., 4-11-00
• "I'm trying to get everyone to participatt (sic)." --Mr. Cohen, 4-12-00
• "You've lost your bo privileges!" --Oneika A., 4-12-00
• "No, I got a butterfly problem for you tomorrow." --Mr. Cohen, 4-13-00
• "Behave, or I shall shake my hair at you!!" --Helen L., 4-14-00
• "Don't make fun of me! I can't help it if I appreciate a story well-written, even if I don't like it!" --Ms. Fisher, 4-17-00
• "We have lots of normal cookies." --Jim P., 4-17-00
• "This is not my final answer! This is my work! I am hiding my final answer!" --Ms. Waihman, 4-18-00
• "What made you think I looked especially cute today?" --Jim P., 4-18-00
• "They won't let me die until my textbook account balances." --Ms. Fisher, 4-25-00
• "This is too complicated; take it back!" --Aaron D., 4-25-00
• "Anyone else want to be in the circle of friends?" --Mr. Cohen, 4-26-00
• "If you could put your brain in your book, you could get stuff done." --Frau Gerstacker, 4-27-00
• "No distracting creativity!" --Ms. Waihman, 4-28-00
• "They're sending something for a student in my 4th period just to interrupt my 3rd period." --Mme. Alnaamani, 5-3-00
• "Just let me play with your scissors for a minute, okay?" --Frau Gerstacker, 5-5-00
• "I used to have color-over markers, but then I lost them. Now I'm markerless." --Kristine T., 5-8-00
• "I'll just get some sticks and beat on something." --Victor B., 5-17-00
• "Hit me. Just hit me hard. I want to hurt." --Christi D., 5-18-00
• "Oh, I'm just generating random numbers. I feel like a C++ program." --Megan T., 5-19-00
• "It's been a very crazy year, especially in a studious way." --Megan T., 5-19-00
• "Well, mushroom-growing isn't for the faint of heart." --Megan T., 5-19-00
• "My teacher said, 'We're going to watch fungus sex today!'" --Megan T., 5-19-00
• "I'm not insane. Hee hee! Hee hee!" --Jim P., 5-22-00
• "Oh! I have a picture of you and me that I really want to give to you, and...the floor is sticky..." --Tina S., 6-13-00
• "Why didn't we buy a rentable dog?!" --Helen L., 6-13-00 (whining about not being able to go on vacation as a family)

13th grade:

• See College Quotes.

  I'm going to have some great memories of my teachers and classmates when I grow up, aren't I? Well, they're certainly unforgettable now.