Holiday Cheer
PO Box 3332
Adult Humor
Burleson, TX 76097
318 words
Phone 817-726-6125
FAX 817 535 1628



            Good thing, today is a holiday and I don’t have to work until tonight. Last night, while working, I caused my vehicle some mechanical difficulties. I introduced my van, named ‘Z,’ to a character named ‘Twofoot-high Median.’ Actually, the two really hit it off. Moreover, I met a lot of Medians in my many years in the newspaper delivery business, but I never encountered one with quite that much personality. The results of their meeting were; two bent rims, two flats, and a six-inch long gash across Z’s front tire. An intense situation with that blow-out. There should have been more rubber to cover the situation that arose. Anyhow, they made their fling quite an affair and Z looked like she was going to need the night to recuperate and rest.

            Good thing, today is a holiday and I don’t have to work until tonight. Last night, I left my van with her new acquaintance. After relieving her from her strenuous work load so she could enjoy her date, I handled the rest of the night without her. No trouble, paper people used to walk back in the day, as the elders say. Those days when a twelve page paper-not a twelve lb paper--was delivered to twenty houses on one block-not one house each twenty blocks--even if the street was uphill both ways! Back when people read to learn about events. In times when people tipped the paper carrier!

 Good thing, today is a holiday and I don’t have to work until tonight. Last night, I finally made my way home and slipped into a take me away bath. No problems, no concerns, no stress, I am calm.

            Good thing, today is a holiday and I don’t –is the paper going to run seven days this week too? After waking and leisurely enjoying a cup of mocha, making no effort to relish the worry-free life I lead, I went back to the place of my vehicle’s one-night stand and removed the blown out rubbers and misshapen parts left from the rendezvous.

            Then, I journeyed with a friend, who has not mastered my fine art of introductions between inanimate objects –and still has four working wheels, to the tire shop. Tire warranties are a necessity in my business, one should keep their rubber properly re-paired and up to par for the chance dating scene. I am prepared since I purchased that road hazard protection. It is like advocacy for auto birth control.

            By the way, did I mention today is a holiday?

            The closed tire shop already knew.

            So, Z van sits over yonder way, with her new steady, and absent of her left sides’ mobility features. Z’unfixed wheels sit on my front porch, and I sit in front of a calendar pondering the name given to this day ...Good Friday.

            Good thing. Can things be any more good?


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