Author: Naisumi
Pairing: 2+3, mentioned 1+4
Disclaimers: These boiz do _not_ belong to me (oh, it's _so_ unjust! *weeps*)
Notes: Hi minna-san!!! Enjoy and PLEASE send me C&C!!! (ChanC@uakron.edu)
-- scene change,
< > thoughts
~ ~ things said in flashbacks
It was dark in the warehouse. Dank, musty, and dark. So dark, that the ceiling seemed not to exist, only noted by the belying echoes of cryptic drips and wafting odors of long rusted pipes. The cavernous fortress of dormant machines, and slumbering rhythms, tensing to be released in the thrumming pulse of machine guns. An engine churned metallically in the concrete womb of the warehouse, casting off a cloak of heat, lending fiery embers to the wan moonlight. Such an engine, pumping yearningly, driving for companionship. Longing for love.
Such is the life of a long-lived heart.
Such is the reason for continuing, for thriving.
Such is completion.
--
An echo of a cry—a scream from the depths of a stirring memory.
<...to be obliterated under the continuous motor...>
A long-remembered sob, a frail plead against the suffocating night of infinite sleep,
<...to be eliminated by a methodic machine, the despairing emotion called...>
"...help me..."
<...Loneliness?...>
No one came, as he recalled,
<... ...wouldn't it hurt?...>
No one.
<... ...it would, wouldn't it? Somehow...>
no...
one...
came.
--
The tennis ball hit the ceiling with a hollow thud. It then returned to the waiting outstretched hand of the amethyst-eyed pilot. The pilot who called himself "Shinigami." The God of Death.
"Duo-kun!"
Blinking owlishly at the same ceiling the tennis ball was bouncing back from, Duo stared blankly as the ball rebounded, unheeding the call of his name. Gravity pulled the worn yellow ball down, sending it spiralling towards the unresponsive pilot. It would
have made contact had someone not intervened.
"Duo-kun, what's wrong?"
Quatre watched him quietly, tossing the ball that he had caught up and down in his hand. He raised an eyebrow, noting, "This ball would've hit you in the face, you know." Holding out the ball to the braided boy, Quatre Raberba Winner heaved a melancholy sigh, as Duo didn't respond at all. He just stared. And stared.
--
Water cascaded down the glossy rocks,caressing with silvery tendrils, streaming rivulets that seemed like a wistful lover's tender caress. The liquid seemed metallic in the waning moonlight, and with it, a torrent of memories, remembrances, and regrets.
<<< <<<
~...I hate you...~
~N-no...you can't possibly mean that...~
~...but I do...~
~No! You're lying! You...you can't! Not after...~
~I...~
~Shut up! Don't talk to me! You can't do this to me! Not after I told you that I...!!!~
~But, I...--~
>>> >>>
"I...I love you."
Emerald reflected upon the rippling current, staring unseeingly at the smooth pebbles below. <... I do...I only told you that...> He reached out and ran a finger along the slick surface of a rock, watching as a water droplet slid down his finger. He turned his
hand so that the moonlight flooded upon the open pale cradle of his hand, gazing at the dewdrop dropping to nestle against the hollow of his palm. <...because...I...>
"I do...but would you believe me?"
Violet and green...It made so much sense, such perfect albeit emotional logic within his mind. Logic...was logic easy to find in love? Of course not, but then again...
<...love...>
It's not always logical...like the battlefield. Trowa stared at the glistening drop of water cradled in his hand, feeling himself shiver against his will as a breeze slid by his cheek, caressing the cooling tears that trickled down in their own river. A river of sadness, carved by the chisel of angst, the hammer of desolation.
Caused by...
<...you.>
"Always and forever..."
Trowa took a step back, even as he upended his cupped hand slowly. Moonlight played along the cracks in his heart, reflecting black in glassy green eyes. Fissures rent by a dagger forged in the heat of war. A war fought in desperation...desperation brought on by
being...
"Lonely...I'll always be lonely."
The water droplet glided down his fourth finger, silently plummeting into the river, ever flowing from a dying emerald bank.
--
"Duo-kun, look! It's snowing!"
Quatre beamed as he swept the curtains to the side with one hand, the other reaching out to caress the windowpane. "Kirei," he breathed, "How beautiful!"
Smiling radiantly, the blond stood to the side opposite of where his hand pinned back the draping wine-colored curtain. "Duo-kun, come on...look at the snow." Quatre frowned slightly as the braided pilot didn't react, "Duo-kun! It's going to be a white
Christmas...here on L2. How wonderful, ne?"
White. White Christmas...It was going to be a white Christmas. Amethyst eyes flickered momentarily with a shadow.
<...Sister...Sister Helen...She was singing...I remember...> His gaze turned to the window, and he shivered almost imperceptibly as he felt a chill from the snow. Hotel rooms weren't built very solidly on L2. No, their foundations were shaky, trembling like a new fawn standing in the mossy clearing of a forest...a baby deer...a fawn without its mother, without protection...
Quatre was saying something...but it was lost in the blinding static of misery before it reached Duo, disappearing into garbled text that was to be disregarded. Everything was drowned out a moment
later by memories, old tattered snapshots that were brought to life in the corner of his mind. Everything faded to a dull gray, except for the static. The static grew, embracing with fiery arms that
strangled and throttled the hope and pleasant numbness that was overtaking Duo's mind...
Pale lips moved silently, as violet eyes focused on the window,
<"I'm dreaming...">
Snow...falling so softly. Like frozen laced tears...frozen in the eternal eclipse of mournful nightmares and shadowed memories. Kept like treasured jewels in the hallowed sanctuary of the heart,
because despite the burning intense pain...
<"...of a...">
...deep renting tragedy, bitter with remembrance, it was still...
<"...white...">
...it was still pure white in the solitary fact that, it was, indeed...
<"...Christmas...">
...a time to be with people you loved. In memories, no matter how the blazing tendrils of flame engulfed his heart, it was still...
"...Trowa..."
--
Quatre was startled out of his entrancing daydream of cobalt eyes and snowy walks by Duo's haggard voice. "...Trowa..."
Cerulean eyes widened at the revering tone in the mahogany-haired boy's voice. In that single utterance, the husky voice conveyed so many emotions—-the sacredness with which Duo held the owner of the name, the anguish of seemingly unrequited love, the
woefulness brought on by the distance that Trowa's aloof manner pressed him to place between himself and his fellow pilots. --
"I love you, too."
Trowa stared out the window, noting absently in a detached sort of wonder, Acridly, he thought to himself with dripping sarcasm, Duo.
That single name...it was enough to bring his world crashing down around him, and repaint the very same world with bright colors, greatly contrasting with his dark background. Oh how he wished he
could allow the pixie pilot to rebuild his world, to connect with his own wandering soul, to finally make him whole. However, Trowa let out a mirthless chuckle, it was rather obvious that it wouldn't happen
now. "I'll always love you."
Trowa whispered his secrets to the gently falling snow beyond the windowpanes, and imagined the same veneer of ice that was gently blanketing the world outside, was walling him off from his heart.
Pulling him into the oblivion of despair.
--
"Duo-kun...is this what's been bothering you?"
Silence. Quatre sighed heavily, running one hand tiredly through flaxen bangs. Duo was facing him, but it was evident that the amethyst-eyed pilot was not paying attention to him. Instead, he stared straight ahead of him, staring out the window, staring out at
the icy snowflakes that were falling steadily. "Duo-kun?"
"...just...leave me...please..."
Quatre closed his eyes and smiled sadly, "Ok, Duo-kun...but, promise me that you won't do anything rash?"
There was a pause, then a slight nod. Quatre gave Duo an amiable pat on the shoulder, than left—-somewhat reassured, but still very worried. --
The night stretched onto infinity, like a braided bracelet of dark colors, weaved with angst, sorrow, and regret. Duo was now painfully aware of the situation, of the fact that it was lacking finality, and _that_ was driving him insane. <...I have to go find him...I have to go and make things _right_...> His heart recoiled, as a new thought dawned upon him, <...even if it means recanting my feelings...my declaration.>
Quietly, he whispered to himself, "Even...even though, I'll always love you..."
--
"So...you see, it's all a mistake."
Trowa stared unbelievingly at the braided pilot who was smiling too widely, and laughing too nervously. "I...see."
"It is!! It is!!" Duo pointed to said smile and grinned even harder with all his might. "I make these sort of jokes _all_ the time!!"
The emerald-eyed pilot was quiet for a moment, before murmuring, "So...you always pretend to love someone?"
Duo felt a pang in his heart, and before he could hold it in, he blurted out, "And do you always pretend to _hate_ someone!?" The other pilot was silent, staring quietly at the floor of his room. The
braided boy gritted his teeth, suddenly all the frustration and misery of the whole ordeal flooding back to him, short-circuiting his mind.
"Trowa Barton," he whispered, staring at him with a pleading gaze, "Look me in the eye and tell me you hate me...Please, if you hate me, then look at me! Look at me and tell me that...and I'll leave you alone."
--
`I'll leave you alone.'
Trowa watched him, desperation brimming in his emerald eyes.
As he watched Duo's expression change from pleading, to dismay, to something akin to adoration. Absolute adoration... "Oh, Trowa..." The amethyst-eyed boy crossed over to where Trowa was sitting, kneeling down by the chestnut-haired boy. Leaning his head against the pilot of Heavyarm's knee, he murmured softly, "It'll be ok...I won't leave you." Duo stared up at the boy
frozen with shock, and maybe something more?
"I love you, you know..." Duo hesitated, then whispered softly, a slight flush stealing over his countenance, "I didn't mean what I said...about it being a joke."
Trowa watched him almost warily. "Duo...you really mean it...?"
The boy in question grinned and nodded, "Yup. Now..." He leaned forward and tapped the startled emerald-eyed pilot on the nose with one finger, "It's all up to you to finish the customary exchange of
vows..." Duo then leaned back and cackled, "And then we can elope to Hawaii!!"
The unibanged pilot sweatdropped faintly, even as Duo was truly waiting with anticipation that was so evident in his luminous amethyst eyes. "I..."
Duo could almost hear the wedding bells ringing...
"I...I um..."
Heero could be his best man...
"I...l...l-lo..."
...no, scratch that, Heero'd probably also kill the priest for taking so long...
"I love..."
...never mind, Duo wasn't going to _be_ there to hear the wedding bells ring; he'd have a coronary right now from hearing Trowa say...
"I love you..."
Duo almost passed out. Instead, he kissed the nearest thing to him. Which would be Trowa's knee.
Trowa blinked at the braided boy who was fervently kissing his knee, and promptly sweatdropped. Then, he offered shyly, "Duo? Why don't you kiss m—-"
Without even waiting for the emerald-eyed pilot to finish his sentence, Duo sat up, and grinned, kissing the other with elation. "Man...do you know how _long_ I waited to hear you say that!?" Trowa blushed faintly, smiling sheepishly, "...gomen ne..."
Duo rolled his eyes, then smiled gently, "Trowa...you know we'll always be together now, ne?" In response, the other boy drew
him closer and hugged him warmly, "...Yes...I know that now." He smiled softly into Duo's hair as he leaned his head against Trowa's shoulder, "...Merry Christmas..."
And together, they listened the snow softly falling, marking the beginning of eternity with each other.
~owari~
Main Gundam Wing Page
My GW Fan Fiction Page
Other GW Fan Fiction