Looking Deeper

Author: Shinigami

Pairings: 1+4, 5+Sally, mentioned 1+2, eventual 2+3

Notes: ~ Scene changes / / Thoughts I’m working this into a 2+3! Honest! Just be patient with me.. ^_~ (This is an entered Fic into the TroDuo Fic Contest. ^_^)

Category: Short story 4 Part Fic

Rating: I would say PG-13

Warnings: Shounen ai, angst, sap, fluff, pwp?

Disclaimer: They’re not mine. I wish they were… Especially Duo and Trowa!!

~*~ Looking Deeper: Part One ~*~

~ Looking at the world, you see it as your eyes depict it. What good is sight anyways? All it does is blind you to the truth. Perhaps that’s the thing. That’s why it hurts to look at the world around me. Cause I actually look deeper than would be expected from someone like me. Most just look at me like I’m a child trapped in an adults body. I suppose it’s not so bad. There are worse things for them to think of me as. Such as a killer. A terrorist is pretty bad too. I’ve been to hell and back. Funny thing is, I did it for this world that scares me more than the blood that I shed. Fancy that, Shinigami is scared of life. It seems fit and proper really. I don’t care for life. Why else would I have chosen to be the god of death? You know it wasn’t for my own health. Little that I do reflects my true self. No one wants to look that far. I always thought I was an open book; obviously that analysis was somewhat… incorrect. No one cares to know the real me, so I won’t bother. As if any one would have time for me, Shinigami. Thus, I am opting to live alone. Rejection is all I needed to prove that one statement as a truth. I am a loner… and a nobody. I can’t even look to the stars anymore without feeling ashamed. It’s better that way. It causes me to remain grounded, and keep my mind from creating delusions of such grandeur, which I do not deserve. In the next couple of days, people will be celebrating the end of the war yet again. How many years has it been? Five I believe. That long… Still I wander aimlessly with no place in particular in mind. Friends? They’ve probably forgotten me. So, why should I care to look for them? The thing is I do, and I’ll never own up to that fact. I miss them all. The only ones that will ever understand me. They all seem so comfortable. I just shrug them off though. They’ve found peace. I haven’t. They don’t need me around. I am a burden to their healing. That’s it. If I cry, no one will know but me. If I die, I’ll just be forgotten. It’s as simple as that.

~ “Heero?” The soft angelic like voice drifted into the perfect soldier’s ears. Turning about his eyes met up with bright sparkling aqua eyes. A soft smile curled his lips. It used to pain him, the thought of the tiny blonde causing these feelings in him. But that was because of a certain braided baka that had been in his life. Did he feel guilty telling him about his feelings for Quatre? No, he felt guilty for hurting him. But the truth needed to be heard. The young Shinigami took it pretty well.

“When did you get here Quatre?” The petite blonde just smiled sheepishly at the other man sitting at his desk in his Preventor uniform. Deep pools of prussian blue stared lovingly upon him and it made the warmth run through him in evenly distributed waves of comfort and love. True, he had stolen the heart of Heero from a good friend. Hurting Duo was his only regret. But neither he, nor Heero could live in the lie.

“I just came from the space port. L-4 is so empty without you.” Heero merely smiled for him. No one saw that smile except for Quatre.

“So you came to see your workaholic boyfriend?”

Quatre laughed softly. “No. I came to see my workaholic fiancée.” They both smiled evenly at one another. It had just been decided less than a month ago, and both still glowed about the idea in their own way.

“You’ve made the arrangements then?” Heero smirked slightly, knowing Quatre was always well thought out, much like him.

“Yes, I just need to clear the dates with you.” Quatre looked to him in hopes that Heero would have time to sit and plan some of this out with him.

With a soft sigh, Heero knew how much it meant to him. And there was nothing he wouldn’t do for his perfect angel. “Of course, let’s work on it for a little while together.” Quatre beamed as Heero lifted his phone and dialed an extension. “Une, do you mind if I take the rest of the day off?” There was a short pause and Heero allowed a smile to cross his handsome yet rigid features. “Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Standing he looked to the blonde with a hand extended to him. “Shall we?”

Nodding Quatre placed a pale and fragile hand into Heero’s, and they left the building hand in hand.

~ Leaning against a supporting structure to the main tent of the circus, Trowa cast dull emerald eyes about the area. He should have been preparing for his performance, especially since people were already flooding in for the afternoon show. His eyes soon fell upon a certain couple. A set of ebony met his eyes and he smirked. “Well, Barton, I come to see you perform for a change, and I find you standing out here like you’re a spectator.”

At his side stood Sally Po. They were supposedly just close friends, and partners, but to those that knew them best, they knew there was much more than met the eyes. Trowa blinked slowly then shrugged. “I just haven’t made my way to the dressing rooms yet.” Wufei looked at him quietly.

“Shouldn’t you hurry? Aren’t you going to be late?” Sally interjected softly hoping not to sound pushy.

Trowa dropped his eyes to the ground and nodded curtly. The Chinese boy studied him slowly. He knew why Trowa looked like this. The news had caught him by surprise as well. Who would have thought Winner and Yuy would get married. He always thought the braided baka was going to capture the perfect soldier’s heart. He was wrong. Just as he was wrong about thinking the silent Trowa would have ended up at the tiny Arabian’s side. “We’ll be rooting for you.”

Trowa looked up with somewhat widened eyes. “Thanks.” Wufei smiled then tugged on Sally’s arm to inform her that it was time to go in and find a seat. Trowa wondered to himself, just how Sally had gotten him to open up so much. It intrigued him, and yet it saddened him greatly. Pushing himself up from his position he walked slowly to the dressing rooms. /So, I know where Heero and Quatre are. / He choked back the emotions in an attempt to keep his heart under wraps for a while longer. /And now I know how Wufei is. I wonder how Duo is doing. / He shrugged slightly and put on his mask, that did nothing to lighten up his non emotional mask that was always firmly placed on his face. /Duo… Does he hurt like I am hurting? /

~ Standing on a darkened street corner, chestnut bangs hid dulled out amethyst. The once vibrant eyes didn’t even bear a dull shine. Short breaths entered and escaped his lungs as he stared blankly at the pavement washed in the eerie yellow light of the street lamp. Now and again, some one would pass and throw a comment in his direction, such as; “hey sexy!” “Wanna spend the night with me?” or some other cheesy pick up line to try and coax him into their beds. He didn’t respond to any of them, he merely pretended not to hear them. Once in a while he thought about allowing them to take him home with them, but in the end, he preferred being alone.

Steady footsteps caught his attention. They were familiar, yet he didn’t care. Honestly, he hoped he wouldn’t be noticed. But instead the footsteps stopped before him. Cursing, he still kept his eyes focused on the cold pavement beneath their feet. “Duo…” It was most certainly a long forgotten voice. Though… it sounded beautiful beyond belief. Looking up slowly, his dull eyes met up with the deep fathomless green of Trowa’s eyes.

Neither spoke for a while as they looked upon one another. But old habits broke Duo in a second as he found himself getting lost in those eyes. “Well if it isn’t Trowa. How’ve ya been?”

Trowa moved uneasily as he watched the shadow of Duo’s mask return from his once open expression. “What are you doing out here?”

Duo looked down the street and took on a defiant expression. “Touché my friend. I should ask you the same thing.” The American forced a smile to his face, one that didn’t quite make it into his eyes.

“I was looking for you. Hirde said you always ended up in this area lately.” Trowa cut off and locked his eyes on the American.

Duo’s eyes snapped back to meet Trowa’s. “You… were looking for me?” A bitter smirk touched his features. “And to think all those times I nearly had to get on my knees and beg you to even acknowledge my presence.”

Trowa’s eyes widened. The comment hurt far worse than he would have expected. For a moment he even saw the hurt in Duo’s eyes, from the supposedly humorous remark. “I’m sorry Duo.”

“Go home Trowa.” Duo’s voice fell into a monotone that didn’t fit him at all.

The note Duo hit caused Trowa to jump slightly. Timidly he reached out to touch Duo’s shoulder, but the young Shinigami dodged the gesture and turned his back to Trowa. “Duo…”

“Forget it Trowa.” With those words Duo walked quickly away into the shadows of the night. Clenching a fist Trowa bit his lower lip. This was truly unexpected. In fact, he had hoped to see the real Duo, but this was not what he had expected at all. He dropped his eyes to the pavement. /Perhaps… He’s hurting even deeper than I. /

~*~ Looking Deeper: Part Two ~*~

~ What day is it now? I feel so lost. Though, that is not something that you would see written in my features. Little is written in my outward appearance. Perhaps that is what is wrong with me. I am Nanashi. A face with out a name, a boy without an identity. Perhaps it bothered me during my life. If it did, I paid no attention to it. Growing up a mercenary only served to be the lessons in killing my own heart. So now people wonder if I am capable of love. I was. I can’t really say that I am. That is something I am unsure of. I was in love, and that love turned me away with unknowing eyes. Should I have been hurt? It doesn’t matter really. I hurt. I hurt so deeply I wanted to just end my pain. Though that is not expected of the silencer. Just because words do not usually pass through my lips, it doesn’t mean I have nothing to say. No one really cares to hear what I say. This brings me to friends. Try loosing the one you love, to a good friend. Now talk to me about friends. I had considered being friends with the one that lost their love as well. I didn’t think a hand out of friendship could be rejected so harshly. But I really shouldn’t have assumed so much. I can’t really regret the words I don’t say. But I can regret not saying them. It really makes no sense to me. So, it goes like this. You will be able to regret everything you do. And I regret this. Not being able to love the one I care so deeply about, and not being able to help the one just as hurt as I. I am the silent clown. How much longer must things be this way? I know that I am already breaking. Supposedly, the wedding day will be the ultimate breaking point. I wonder, will it be the same for him?

~ Long slender fingers traced the outline of the cool metal casing containing the object needing to be repaired. Vacant eyes of amaryllis stared lazily at the unit in question. “Duo!” The American didn’t move to the voice that called his name. He merely took a deep breath and plastered a smile onto his heart shaped face. Finally he turned to face the one who called his name, jesters mask placed firmly on his face.

“What’s up Hirde?” The girl blinked her deep blue eyes slowly as she studied the former pilot. She knew something was wrong, but there was nothing she could do unless he admitted it.

Raking her hands through short indigo hair, she shrugged her shoulders. “You’ve been working on that thing for hours, what’s up? This really isn’t like you.”

It took everything for Duo to keep his emotions in check. He really didn’t want to yell at her, but everything seemed to stab his heart through. “I’m just tired Hirde. I think I’m going to take the rest of the day off. Don’t worry about it.” Standing slowly he nodded to her before walking from the shop into his tiny office building.

Upon entering his office he leaned heavily against the wall and closed the door, locking it. A sigh was about to escape his lips, but he stopped. There was someone in the room with him. The other stood from the chair whence he sat and turned to reveal a pair of shining aqua eyes. “Hello Duo. I was wondering when you’d come in here. No one was in the lobby, so I figured I would just wait in your office.” Duo could see the blonde fidgeting nervously, but kept smiling warmly in hopes of not hurting the braided boy.

Instantly Duo plastered a grin onto his face. He hated the blonde, and yet he loved the friendship they had. “No prob Q-man! What’s up? How can I help you?”

The smaller man moved uneasily as if in deep thought. He couldn’t make out what exactly was going on in that head of Duo’s. “Nothing really. I was here to ask…” Quatre cut himself off and tried with all his might not to look away from the laughing violet eyes. “I felt… that it would be better…”

“Spit it out Q-man! It’s just me! You can talk to me.” Duo shrugged with his trademark grin in an attempt to comfort Quatre a little, even if it were reluctant.

“About the wedding…”

Duo immediately cut him off, keeping a joking tone. “No sweat Q-man! You know I’ll be there. My two best buds are getting hitched! I have to be there for that!”

Relief washed over Quatre as the gentle smile returned to his pale lips. Inwardly Duo winced. He knew there was no competing with that. Quatre was truly the embodiment of light and life. Him? He was just the opposite. Shinigami was his name, and death was definitely his game. “Thank you so much Duo. This means so much to me. To Heero.”

Duo shrugged nonchalantly. “Not a problem. Just send me the where and when and I’ll be there.” The American fought off the weakness in his knees that begged to give out.

The platinum blonde head nodded then walked to the door. “I mean it Duo. Thank you.” With those words he hurried passed him and out the door. “Take care Duo, please keep in touch!”

“Sure thing!” With this last statement Quatre was gone. Duo heaved in a deep breath. Closing the door once more he shifted all his weight backward against it. Sliding slowly to the ground, despair overtook his face. /I must enjoy torturing myself. Oh well Maxwell. Friends are few for you; this isn’t worth losing them over. / The still form jerked as he heard the vid phone ring.

Listening in silence, the answering machine picked up. “Hey! This is Duo! Sorry I’m not in! But you can leave me a message!” There was a shrill beep and a silence hung on the line, but the person didn’t hang up.

“Duo…” It was the even monotone voice of Trowa. “If you’re there, please answer.” Duo blinked in shock as he stood to his feet. Trowa had never made an effort to call him before.

Pushing a button he watched the screen flicker to life and reveal the intense green depths. Duo didn’t speak, he really felt far too weak to talk. He just smiled his normal smile. “Hey Tro.”

“How are you doing?” Duo remained silent, but he didn’t change his expression. Trowa stared at him a moment knowing he wouldn’t get an answer. Duo never lied, and he knew that the other boy had no intention of revealing the pain in his heart. “I just talked to Heero.”

A wave of pain swept over Duo’s elfin face, but soon faded back into his generic grin. “I just had Quatre make a call on me. Did Heero ask you about the wedding like Quatre did me?”

Trowa gave a curt nod. Inside, Trowa’s stomach knotted up. He saw the pain sweep over Duo’s face, and it nearly knocked him down. “Yes he did.” Silence followed as deep emerald stared into pools of amethyst.

“And… what do I owe for the honor of your call?” Duo kept an even and joking tone even though he truly felt nothing like he sounded.

“I… just…” Trowa paused and looked away. It wasn’t like him to be this emotional. “I wanted to check on you.”

Duo blinked then finally a true smile crept into his eyes and lips. “Thanks Tro.”

Blinking slowly Trowa also curved his lips into a tiny smile. “Of course.”

~ Trowa leaned against a pole silently casting his eyes about the area anxiously looking for someone. The streets were crowded and it only made his anxiety worse. He really didn’t know how this agreement came into play, but he thought it was a good idea. Before hanging up, Duo asked him if he’d like to go out on the town with him. Trowa wasn’t much for that sort of thing, but something in Duo’s eyes caused Trowa to jump on the chance.

In the midst of his thoughts a hand landed softly on his shoulder. He immediately spun about to meet a pair of violet eyes, which danced and laughed in his scrutinizing gaze. “It’s dangerous to get that lost in thought Tro-kun.”

A warm smile graced Trowa’s lips and his eyes sparked to life momentarily. Duo jumped slightly at the show of emotion, and then simply returned the true gesture. “Thanks for the tip Duo.”

“Not a prob Tro!” The smile broadened as he took a hold of Trowa’s arm. “I’m hungry, lets get something to eat!” It hadn’t really dawned on Duo until now that he was hungry. He hadn’t eaten today, and the fact was, unless Hirde pushed him into eating something, he really didn’t eat anymore.

The taller man nodded and followed Duo’s lead. “What would you like to eat? It’s on me.”

Duo stopped and grinned at his friend. “Oh really? Well then! Somewhere expensive!” Duo giggled and winked to ease Trowa’s look of shock. No more words were really spoken as they went from place to place in search of somewhere to eat. It wasn’t long before Duo stopped to point at a tiny café on the opposite side of the street. “That place is nice. It’s inexpensive as well.”

Trowa ran his eyes over his companion for the first time. The eyes of emerald widened slightly as he realized just how nice Duo looked. The traditional black leather jacket covered a deep royal purple turtleneck that highlighted the jewel-toned eyes. The black jeans he wore hugged onto Duo’s legs like a second skin, and caused Trowa to shiver. “Alright Duo. We can go there.”

It took a moment for Duo to realize just what was happening. True, he was popular with both guys and women, but he never really allowed things of a sexual sense to happen with him. Soon he realized that he was smirking in delight over the response his attire had on the tall European man. “Alright! Let’s go!” The sparkling light returned to Duo’s eyes as he forgot about his pain for the moment and returned the appraising gaze to Trowa. The emerald-eyed boy wore a deep forest green sweater, which brought out the beauty of his eyes. The tight jeans he wore were black for a change and truly brought out the form of Trowa’s body. In all essence, Duo was totally impressed. Drooling to say the least.

~ After dinner, the two men walked down a street filled with lights and people. Excitement was clear in Duo’s eyes, and it pleased Trowa greatly. Duo truly seemed happy as he chattered aimlessly throughout dinner. Stopping, Duo cast his intense violet gaze to a building decorated in countless neon lights. Quivering in excitement he turned to Trowa. “Tro-kun! Let’s go to a movie!”

The former Heavy Arms pilot blinked in bewilderment. “I’ve never been to a movie before.”

The smile on Duo’s face faded as his jaw fell open in shock. “You’ve NEVER been to a movie?”

Trowa shook his head slowly as a slight smile curled the corners of his mouth. “No, I haven’t Duo. But I’d love for you to take me. I’d have no idea what to do there.” It caused a warmth to flutter in his chest as his companion lit up and shined with pure excitement. /He really is beautiful. /

Duo paused and looked at Trowa a moment. He hadn’t felt this alive in so very long. His head tilted slightly as he pushed the aching memories away and took Trowa’s arm. “This will be fun! Come on Tro! Let’s watch… A horror movie!”

Emerald eyes widened slightly. “A… Horror movie…?” Laughing amethyst just smiled back at him and he couldn’t help but relent. /I will probably regret this. / Trowa fell deep into thought as Duo drug him slowly toward the theatre chattering in excitement. /Why did I never notice it before? I just thought, I’d be his friend… but… Now, I look at him, and I feel this encroaching warmth. Why? /

Duo knew he was chattering endlessly, but he was excited. The funny thing was, he didn’t even know why. All this time he’d been sulking and allowed depression to overtake him, he’d never taken the time to consider that maybe; he’d get another chance to live. He had to laugh to himself. The thought of Shinigami finding life was beyond him. But that didn’t matter. For the time being, he was happy. Thoughts of the wedding could wait. Tonight, he was going to just be Duo, and he was going to help both he and Trowa. For some reason, that’s all that mattered for the time being. That’s all.

~*~ Looking Deeper: Part Three ~*~

~ Talk about a bright light interrupting my peaceful darkness. I didn’t know if I should be happy or scared half out of my wits. What the hell am I thinking? Now THAT is the question of choice isn’t it? Just the other day I had sworn never to interfere with the flow of my friends lives. And I swore to myself I’d always be alone. What’s happening? I never even gave him a second glance on all those missions we shared together. I’d just prance around teasingly in his presence, just to see if he’d react. Now he’s practically MAKING his way into my life. Who’d have thought that I’d get lost in seas of green? All my dreams had been about deep pools of prussian blue. Honestly, I didn’t think he was… well… you know…. THAT way. I mean, I’d catch him now and again looking at Quatre. I mean, hell, even *I* looked at Quatre that way. Consider Wufei. Even HE looked at the blonde that way and he’s straight! Besides… if I’m not good enough for Heero… what makes me think I’m good enough for Trowa? That’s the main question in my heart. Trowa may not see it… but… I’m worthless… And I know I gave into my yearning to be happy with him the other night… but it’s time to save him before he gets caught up… before I get attached and drag him down with me. I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him. I still don’t see why he sought me out. Perhaps he really did have a thing for Quatre and I just didn’t realize it? I was so caught up in the perfect soldier I didn’t even give heed to the silent soldier. Now… the more I think about it… the more I feel myself falling for that steady quiet gaze of emerald. But that can’t be. I won’t allow Trowa to get hurt. So this means I’ll be eternally single… It’s not so bad right? Father Maxwell did it… Perhaps I should be a priest… it could work… right?

~ Trowa looked at the vid phone quietly praying that the braided boy would answer. To his dismay, no one picked up. Closing the contraption he mused the idea of hitting it with his fist, though he knew that tactic to be pointless. It just seemed like something Duo would do. The American intrigued him beyond belief, but he dared not admit that. Clenching his teeth he called once more in hopes of something, anything. This time the screen came to life to reveal Hirde. “Hello?” The deep steel blue eyes gazed at him blankly a moment.

“Is Duo around?” Trowa spoke softly though he was sure he knew the answer.

Hirde looked as if she strained to hear him then looked around the room she stood in. “You know… the funny thing is… he WAS here. But he refused to answer the phone. Now he is completely out of sight and out of mind.” She blinked then turned back to him. “Trowa, right?”

Trowa nodded slowly in response and sighed softly. “Will he be in later and could you ask him to give me a call sometime?”

The girl nodded then tilted her head to the side curiously. “Trowa… Do you know what’s wrong with him? He seems so out of it. He refuses to talk to me.”

The ex-pilot dropped his head allowing the reddish brown bangs to curtain the intense eyes of green. “I only know vaguely what’s wrong. But I thought… he was going to be ok. He’s…” Silencing himself he couldn’t continue. He really didn’t know what this pain was that was building in his chest.

“He’s avoiding you?” Hirde spoke in a soft sympathetic tone. “He was mumbling to himself one time about becoming a priest and practicing celibacy. I nearly died of shock. I don’t think Duo could handle that sort of thing.” Her comment was meant to ease the tension, but Trowa barely even smiled.

He appreciated the gesture, but something weighted down his heart in the worst way. “Thanks Hirde. I’ll go now. If you see him, just tell him I called.”

The girl nodded and smiled. “Don’t worry Trowa. Everything will be ok.” With these words she turned off the vid phone leaving Trowa to stare blankly at the screen in front of him.

/What’s going on Duo? / Trowa leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. All he could do was imagine brilliant eyes of amethyst smiling into his. Since that night he spent with Duo, he really hadn’t given the wedding much more thought. Occasionally he pined over the former Sandrock pilot, but it wasn’t nearly as much as before. / What’s happening to me even? /

~ Duo sat in perfect stillness in the midst of the crowded park. Not much attention was given to his surroundings. His mind only saw emerald eyes and felt the curiously warm feeling the tall pilot inflicted on him. No, it wasn’t good. Not to him at least. Slowly his body hunched forward and he buried his face in his hands. “I am doing the right thing.”

“I’m sure you are…” Duo snapped to attention and met the cool blue eyes of Heero Yuy. He shivered slightly as he watched his former lover sit beside him on the bench. “What are you doing here?”

Looking away defiantly coldness crept into his tone. “What’s it to you Yuy?”

Blinking in slight surprise Heero didn’t move or respond a moment. He merely sat there with his elbows resting on his knees and hands clasped together. Nostalgia swept over the both of them. This situation was quite familiar, and where Duo felt his heart reveling in it, Heero moved uneasily. “Duo, you’re still my friend.”

“Since when does the perfect soldier need friends?” His voice was barely a whisper and it caused Heero’s head to shoot up with a confused look in his eyes, having not heard the statement. Shaking his head Duo turned his violet eyes to Heero’s deep blue eyes. A forced grin swept over his face. “So, when’s the wedding?”

Heero looked away and his knuckles turned white from tensing too strongly. “In two weeks. Quatre tried to call you, but it seems you never answer your phone. So, I came to look for you.” Leaning back the former Wing pilot looked up to the sky. “You’re still coming right?”

Taking a deep breath, Duo looked to the ground. “Sure am!” Raising his eyes he smiled broadly. “Like I told Quatre, wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Suddenly Heero reached into his pocket and pulled out a small white envelope and handed it to Duo. Running his fingers over it he sighed then smiled. Slowly he rose to his feet and saluted Heero. “Thanks, I’ll see you at the wedding!” The tattered smile remained even as his heart crumbled. “Ja Heero!” Turning he didn’t even wait for Heero to say goodbye. His fist held tightly to the crisp envelope that contained the dreaded wedding invitation.

~ Stumbling down the street, Duo felt the burning in his eyes. He really didn’t know where he was; he really didn’t care at this point. Hitting something solid he looked up into a pair of very surprised emerald eyes shaded by long reddish brown bangs. Muttering softly he shakily said Trowa’s name.

Trowa blinked in disbelief at Duo. /This couldn’t be my Duo… he’s… so… / Chewing his lower lip he grasped Duo’s shoulders firmly in his hands and held him steady. “Duo… what’s wrong?” Worry washed over Trowa’s normally stoic features.

The American’s head tilted slightly before it dropped forward onto Trowa’s shoulder. He didn’t cry. He just shivered as Trowa wrapped his arms about his shoulders. All Duo could do was choke out the words Heero, Trowa, and invitation.

A deep and heavy sigh escaped Trowa’s lips as he just held the shorter boy. This was an unexpected, somewhat dismal surprise. He didn’t want to see this sadness in Duo, but he also didn’t want Duo to hide his feelings from him. These wants and needs he felt around Duo, did nothing but confuse him to the extreme. Slowly he leaned down and lifted the quivering boy into his arms. “Let’s get you home…”

The young Shinigami managed to nod as his eyes glazed over. It hurt to let Trowa see him like this, but he was utterly helpless as he flailed about blindly in his heart. He hated it; oh he hated it with a passion. This feeling caused him to feel so very weak. What was worse… was that he was once more dragging Trowa into this. He hated himself.

~ The next thing Duo remembered was waking up to stare up at a ceiling, that was definitely not his own. Shivers ran up his spine as he rolled to lie on his side. There in a chair beside the bed sat the tall silent pilot, eyes closed and knees pulled up to his chest. The American had to admit that Trowa looked extremely cute and somewhat vulnerable.

There was no light filtering in through the window, so Duo looked to the bedside clock that read 3:30 a.m. Slowly, he pulled his body into the fetal position, locking his eyes on Trowa. He wanted to leave. He wanted to run for his life, but something kept him right where he lay. Biting his lower lip he fought off the darkness tugging on his consciousness. Soon, he could no longer fight it and he drifted off into a deep comfortable sleep.

As soon as Duo became still again, Trowa opened his eyes and just looked over the still form on his bed. He was very tired, but found sleeping in a chair was not helping one bit. Stretching, he attempted to work out the kinks in his back. Standing, he felt it safe to leave the bedside. The Death Scythe Hell pilot seemed to be sleeping quite soundly compared to his previous fitful sleep.

Trowa took small tentative steps toward the bathroom and softly closed the door. A soft yet heavy sigh escaped his lips as he moved to turn the hot water on for the shower. Shedding his clothes he step into the hot shower of water and allowed it to drench his body. It was relaxing and eventually distracted him completely from the pending thoughts of a certain blonde and a braided pilot.

Violet eyes flashed to the clock to show it’s reading of 5 a.m. Soon, they wandered over to the empty chair and his heart seemed to sink. Quieting himself, he tried to assure himself that Trowa hadn’t left him. In that moment his eyes fell upon the closed bathroom door, and he felt an overwhelming urge to go in there. Kicking the covers back he twirled about and placed his feet onto the floor and rose to full stature. Upon arrival at the door he took a deep breath and tapped it gently.

Trowa’s eyes snapped open as he looked to the door from whence the noise came. “Yes?” He fought off the urge to squeak that one word.

Duo just smiled and leaned on the door. “Trowa… how long ya gonna be in there?” He gently started to play with his somewhat disheveled braid.

“I’m almost done.” Trowa paused. “If you need to go to the bathroom, you can go ahead and enter. I don’t mind.” A white-hot heat entered his cheeks and he felt the need to turn the cold water on higher to ease the searing flesh on his face.

A grin crept onto Duo’s heart shaped face. He didn’t NEED to go in there, but he WANTED to. He wasn’t sure really if that counted. Honestly, it was a good enough reason to enter, but decency overcame him. With a sigh he dropped the idea of entering. “No it’s ok. Trowa… Thanks.”

Trowa felt a mixture of relief and disappointment. “Of course.”

Duo pushed away from the door and yawned as he made his way over to the bed again. There was a good two hours more he could sleep before having to go back to the salvage yard. A soft laugh escaped his lips as he thought of how he was going to tell Hirde about where he was all night. In his thoughts, he hadn’t heard the water shut off, or even notice Trowa standing in the doorway with a towel wrapped about his waist, smiling softly in the remaining shadows of the night.

~*~ Looking Deeper: Part Four ~*~

~ I am so confused. I would love to just scream in frustration. Heh. Now wouldn’t that be a sight. The silent pilot I’ve always been, going nuts. But I’ve brought this on myself. So… Deal with it. I can. I mean, I have to. I was the one that forced my way into his life. He didn’t come knocking on my door. Though, the actions I took, were so out of the ordinary for me, that it surprises me even now. Watching him sleep… on my bed even… It felt so natural, as if that’s where he belonged. I felt so warm just having him there. It’s so strange. The other thing that eats me up, is how one minute he begs for my company with his eyes, then others he just shoves me away. Hmph, I thought I was confused. And the other thing that drives me nuts is that I can’t get Quatre out of my head. The thoughts literally drive me crazy. He asked me to be his best man. That hurt. I agreed though. I’m just asking for the pain I suppose. I heard Heero was going to ask Duo to be his. Now isn’t that just great? He has nerve. It’s one thing to ask me, since no one knew how I felt for Quatre. But Duo and Heero were originally lovers. Doesn’t that make Heero and Quatre a little presumptuous? All I know is that it angers me. I didn’t think I would get angry about that. I have my own pain to deal with, why am I taking Duo’s pain as well? I think… my heart is trying to fall for Duo, and it still insists upon clinging to Quatre. How sad. But I’ve come to expect my heart to do such things. There are so many things I don’t know, due to locking up my heart from emotions. Now, as these emotions wash over me, I feel so helpless. Yet, it’s not a bad thing. I find myself enjoying a great percentage of the feelings I have learned of. Perhaps I’ll just sit back and wait. I’ll wait and see, just what this life has in store for me.

~ Duo worked harder than he had ever worked before, to hold the bright smile on his face. Constantly he fought the yearning to look away and cry, but he kept his amaryllis gaze plastered steadily on the couple before the altar. Quatre gleamed in a white tux, while Heero contrasted in a black one. It made his stomach hurt, but it didn’t show in his facial expressions. He didn’t even hear what was said. Not a single sound penetrated the strong sense of concentration he held attempting to keep the smile on his face. The American even failed to notice the steady gaze of green that was supposedly on the couple, but was truly weighed heavily on him.

Catching parts of the ring exchange and vows, Trowa drowned out the sound in attempts to keep his face completely emotionless. Slowly the realization hit him, that he was no longer watching the couple blankly, but instead, his eyes were locked on the braided boy at Heero’s side. Quickly, he averted his eyes to Wufei, whom stood to Duo’s side. He seemed beyond bored, but attempted to smile nonetheless. Trowa didn’t even bother to look at Rashid beside him. He knew that the Magunac was more than likely smiling in awe and adoration at his “Master Quatre”. Soon Trowa’s eyes were once more on Duo. There was something about his smile, that didn’t quite look right.

“I do.” Trowa’s eyes snapped back to Quatre and his eyes widened slightly. He hadn’t expected those words to pierce his heart the way they did. And all that entered Trowa’s ravaging mind was the sight of shining azure eyes, looking deeply into the perfect soldier’s eyes. At that moment, he wanted to throw up.

The American slowly began to drone out as his eyes finally traveled away from the two only to fall on Trowa. In that moment, he saw something that washed over Trowa’s face, that hurt him far worse than the time Oz soldiers beat him to a bloody pulp when he was captured. His insides turned and he wanted to wrap his arms about the taller man. But as soon as the show of emotion had appeared, it quickly disappeared.

The judge proclaiming the two married was what shook Duo from his steady contemplation of the taller pilot. Looking up he saw the sickeningly happy faces of Heero and Quatre smiling at the small ensemble of people. Soon the two were walking back down the isle together and Wufei had to poke him hard in the back to get him to follow. Muttering something to himself about evil Chinese men he stepped forward and turned to leave with Trowa at his side. Without really realizing it, Duo reached over and took Trowa’s hand in his. The silent boy suddenly returned to the present and glanced quickly down at their hands clasped together. No word was said, and the hands didn’t part until they exited the ceremony hall.

~ Laughing slightly Duo assured Noin, Sally, and Zechs that he was fine and that he just needed a little fresh air. Turning on his heel he took a deep breath. He didn’t even notice how fast he walked away from his Preventor friends. They had asked him why he was being so quiet and if he was ok. And just like him, the jester mask went up and he laughed the questions off and ran away. /That’s right Maxwell… run and hide. / He sighed and slipped from the procession heading toward the doors to the outside. But his eyes fell upon a lone figure being silent as he always was.

Trowa leaned silently against the wall his eyes steadily staring at the tiny blonde decked out in solid white. He truly looked angelic. But his thoughts were disturbed as a deep voice broke into his thoughts. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you liked him as more than a friend.”

Looking up green met deep blue. “I’m sorry.” Trowa muttered softly and dropped his eyes. Heero was smirking slightly at the taller man as he stood beside him. Trowa already felt totally off balance and Heero only made him feel extremely choked.

“So you do.” Heero looked over to Quatre with loving eyes then back at Trowa. He smirked then continued in a soft tone. “How quaint.”

At that moment Trowa fell apart and nearly collapsed to the floor. Duo fumed as he heard what was said, and saw how much pain had been inflicted by the sarcastic Japanese man’s statement. Before he could think it through, Duo clenched a fist and hit Heero hard enough to send him a few steps backward from the impact and the surprise. Trowa blinked away his unshed tears and looked steadily at the American standing there defiantly staring at Heero with icy violet. “That was cold Heero. Even for you.”

Heero blinked and rubbed his jaw slightly in utter amazement. “Duo?”

Clenching his fists at his sides he dropped his eyes to the floor as tears fell from his misted eyes. “Leave Trowa alone. You’ve found your happiness, now let us find our way to our own happiness.”

Trowa’s eyes widened, but something kept him from moving as much as he wanted to. By this time all eyes rested on the three former pilots. Quatre’s eyes were wide with surprise and sadness. He moved swiftly over to Heero and wrapped an arm about his shoulders with unspoken questions in his eyes. Heero smiled lightly at his love then looked steadily at Duo who refused to look up. “I’m sorry.” The words were steady, but full of remorse, that only the former pilots would hear. Slowly he backed away and pulled Quatre along with him. “Ok everyone, stop staring.”

Soon, the attention swayed away from the two boys standing silently in the back of the room. Duo quivered then looked up at Trowa whom had never taken his eyes off of him. “You… ok?”

Trowa blinked then nodded slowly. “You?”

The American slowly wiped away his tears and forced a smile. “I’m fine.”

As Duo turned to walk away Trowa forced himself forward to place a hand on his shoulder. “Duo…”

Shrugging away, Duo looked over his shoulder at Trowa steadily. “I’m sorry Trowa. I need to go. I won’t let you get hurt anymore.” Violet eyes hid behind closed eyelids, then he sprinted as fast as he could out of Quatre’s estate. The European boy blinked a few times then dropped his eyes to the floor. That was the nicest thing any one had ever done for him. And it was a mixture of hurt and happiness all at once. Why hadn’t he reached out to Duo? He could have helped him as well. A silent tear slid down his cheek.

Soon he realized he wasn’t alone anymore. On one side was Wufei leaning against the wall arms crossed over his chest. On the other was Zechs standing with one fist rested lightly on his hip. Both were waiting for Trowa to realize their presence. Wufei smiled appreciatively at him. “Well, Barton. That was quite a display.”

Zechs nodded slowly with a touch of elegance. “Duo seemed quite upset, wouldn’t you agree Wufei?”

In agreement, Wufei nodded curtly. “It’s not everyday Maxwell looks so serious and displays so much emotion so openly. You’re pretty lucky Barton.”

Trowa blinked at the two in silent surprised. Zechs laughed softly. “I agree Trowa. Duo isn’t one to put forth that much of himself in order to save someone from that sort of situation. Though… I could be wrong.”

Trowa looked at the floor quietly. “What are you two trying to say to me?”

“Isn’t it obvious Barton?”

“Duo is in love with you, even if he himself doesn’t realize it.”

The silent man shot his eyes up to Zechs, and then looked to Wufei. “How… do you know this?”

Wufei shrugged and then smiled warmly at his friend. “Just simple addition Barton. I’m adding two and two together and this is the analysis I come up with.”

Zechs smiled at Trowa as well. “It’s not hard to realize it really. The fact is. No matter how angry Heero has made Duo in the past, it’s never driven him to punch him.”

“Yuy was like a god or something in his eyes. The thought of him hitting Yuy is totally beyond me. And it wasn’t even for himself. He did it in defense for you.” Wufei’s face took on a look of thoughtfulness to highlight his point.

Without even realizing it, Trowa nodded. “You’re both right.”

“Now… the question is. What do you feel?” Zechs turned his crystal blue eyes to Trowa and waited patiently for an answer.

“I don’t think Maxwell will put forth anymore effort. It’s sad but true. It all weighs on you and your decision.” Trowa looked into the deep ebony eyes and nodded slowly.

“I understand.”

“So… What are you going to do?” Zechs spoke softly but didn’t ease up the intensity of his gaze.

“I’m going after him.” Trowa spoke softly and pushed away from the wall.

“Way to go Barton.” Wufei smiled and moved away from the wall as well.

“Thanks you two.”

“Not a problem. Anything for a friend.” Zechs gave a tiny salute then turned to the Chinese boy. “Shall we rejoin the party now? I believe Mr. Barton has something to do now and doesn’t need our company.”

Wufei laughed softly and nodded. “Sure Merquise.” They both nodded to Trowa then walked away disappearing into the crowd.

Trowa smiled slightly and began to walk slowly toward the door, which Duo had previously exited through. For once, he knew what he wanted, and for a change, he truly had a chance to be happy.

~ Quatre looked at Heero steadily, whom had a peculiar smirk on his face. “Ok… what happened?” The blonde was more than frustrated.

Heero grinned as he turned to face his mate. A hand was placed over the spot on his jaw that had been hit. For a moment Heero frowned, then the smirk returned. “I didn’t think Duo could hit that hard, much less catch me totally unaware.”

It was now the blonde’s turn to fume. “Why did he hit you in the first place? What did you say to him?” Aqua eyes flamed as they bore into the deep sapphire eyes that seemed to mock him.

“Oh, so I am automatically in the wrong here?” One corner of Heero’s mouth curled upwards as Quatre began to look very un- amused.

“Heero! Don’t you understand that Duo wouldn’t hit you for any reason? That’s just not like him!” The tiny Arabian had to bite his tongue in order to keep his voice down. Heero just laughed softly and nodded. “Heero Yuy!”

People began to turn and look at them making Heero uncomfortable. “Calm down Quatre…” The fury soon turned to sadness in the platinum blonde’s eyes.

“Fine Heero. Keep secrets from me.” Slowly he turned to leave.

Reaching out Heero grabbed his hand and attempted to stop him. “Don’t leave angel. I’m sorry. I’ll tell you what happened.”

Quatre turned back to face his love and waited with a patient air of pure elegance, sending a shiver down Heero’s spine. “Ok.”

“Trowa was staring at you. It confirmed my suspicion that he liked you for more than a friend.” He paused and watched the surprise cross his lover’s face. “So I approached. The only person in hearing range was Duo. And I knew it. So I thought I’d find out what was going on between them. And to see if Duo would get angry at me.”

The other man’s eyes widened. “That’s cold Heero.” Heero’s expression dropped into one of shame and sadness, which only he could read. A pale hand reached out and cupped the other boy’s chin and lifted his eyes to his own. “But I’m glad you did it.” A small smile returned to the former Wing pilot’s lips.

~ Duo slipped into his black convertible and dropped his head onto the steering wheel. He figured Hirde would be ok, she could find a ride home with some one else. Besides, Quatre wouldn’t allow her to be left out in the cold. He was far too kind to let something like that happen. Curiously he debated with himself over what just happened on that ballroom floor. He’d only hit Heero once, and that was because he had been asked to. “How aggravating!” Quickly he lifted his head and slammed his forehead onto the steering wheel.

“That’s gonna leave a mark.” The voice interrupted his thoughts, being that he was so deep in thought he hadn’t heard anyone approach, much less notice that person get into the seat beside him. Looking up slowly his vision was met with the same tall and slender boy he had hit his ex-lover for in defense.

“Trowa!? What the hell?!” Wide violet eyes blinked in bewilderment, then he slowly regained control of his tongue.

Trowa slowly turned to look at Duo and to the American’s surprise he saw a soft smile that he’d never seen before. The moon highlighted the trails tears had made on his smooth cheeks and the stars glittered in the tear filled emerald eyes. “Duo, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you. I just wanted to talk to you.”

It was more than obvious that the normally silent boy was trying with all his might not to look away, and not to cower from his tiny dialogue. “Trowa…”

A soft finger reached up and touched Duo’s lips to gently silence him. “I want to tell you something… before I decide to back down again. I…” Silence hung about them for a moment then he continued seeing Duo was too much in shock to speak. The European took a deep breath. “Duo… Je t’aime. Désolé…”

The braided boy blinked then tilted his head curiously. “You do? Why are you sorry?” He watched Trowa jump in surprise. A grin came to the American’s lips. “Didn’t know I knew French did you?”

“Non…” Bright emeralds slowly turned away almost in shame. “I do… I… I meant it.”

The grin turned into a warm and bright smile causing his own eyes to be filled with tears. “Trowa… for some reason you give me the warmest feelings when I’m around you. I… I can’t deny that I return your feelings… but…” Duo looked away this time as the tears streaked down his cheeks.

“What is it Duo?” Trowa brushed gentle fingertips over his cheeks wiping the tears away. When Duo returned his gaze to him, he saw the mixture of muted joy and anticipation as to why Duo couldn’t return his love.

“Trowa… I don’t want you to get hurt.” Trowa’s eyes widened and then softened immensely. Before Duo could protest Trowa grasped his waist gently and pulled him closer. “Trowa…”

Trowa shook his head and placed a finger to his lips once more. “I won’t get hurt. But even if I did, it wouldn’t be your fault. Life tends to be cruel, but I am willing to take life on as long as I have you with me. Will you give me a chance?”

Duo slowly began to melt into Trowa’s hold on him. The thoughts were so warm and welcoming. It felt so good. It was so much warmer than when Heero held him. It felt right. And God himself couldn’t have pried Duo away from that silent boy that held him so gently. “No…” He looked up to see the saddened look in Trowa’s eyes then smiled as he moved closer to him, bringing his lips less than an inch between them. “I’ll give you more.”

The light in Trowa’s eyes returned, and they were brighter than Duo had ever seen before. It warmed his heart and at that moment he felt complete. “I love you Duo.”

Duo smiled and closed his eyes whispering in a purring tone. “I love you too Trowa.” With those words he pressed his lips softly against Trowa’s and kissed him tenderly with more emotion and love than he even knew he had with in him.

~*~ Looking Deeper: Epilogue ~*~

~ I don’t think I could have asked for a happier ending. True, fairy tale endings aren’t realistic, for even Duo and I have our quarrels. But life is just more bearable with him there for me. His love truly is a sustaining force. He’s brought laughter and happiness into my cold numbness and taught me how to live again. That means so very much to me. It’s been quite a while since that day. Three months I believe…

“Shame on you! It’s been four months, one week, and three days exactly!”

“Duo… what are you doing in my thoughts?”

“Touché my love, I am just as much a part of you as you are a part of me!”

“Ah. How cute.”

“CUTE!?”

Now where was I? Oh yes. A week after the wedding, we finally apologized to Heero and Quatre for the scene created. Though they were very apologetic as well. Things turned out rather well and it seems that everyone is happy.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN CUTE?!”

Eh… Anyways, Sally and Noin are conspiring though by the way. It seems that Wufei and Zechs have been spending too much time together. Just for the record, I think those two make a cute couple. But I fear for them for what ever plot those women come up with for them. The Preventor women are a mite scary.

“TROWA!!”

“Would you calm down? I’m trying to think.”

“Oh alright fine… just don’t call me cute again.”

“Sure… cutie.”

“TROWA!!!!”

Heh… back to MY thoughts again. Duo and I are doing rather well really. Now that he’s pretty much helped me discover a sense of humor, life has been quite interesting and very entertaining. It doesn’t feel so cold and empty anymore. I plan on spending the rest of my life with Duo. With him, I am complete. Even if he tends to interrupt my train of thought, I wouldn’t change a thing about him. Because to me, Duo will always be a picture of perfection in my heart.

“Aw… I love you Trowa.”

“I love you, too… cutie.”

“You’re just trying to make me mad aren’t you?”

“Maybe.”

“MAYBE??”

~ Running quickly down the sidewalk, Duo didn’t even notice the rut in the pavement. With little or no grace the braided boy tumbled to the ground. Sitting up slowly he rubbed his knees. “Itai… Way to go Maxwell.” The under toned remark had been meant for only him, but it didn’t quite work that way.

“Once a baka, always a baka. How did you manage this one Maxwell?” Looking up Duo saw a Chinese man with sunglasses, a fedora, and a trench coat. The voice sounded a lot like Wufei but this was not the sort of attire Duo pictured him in.

“That you Chang?” Duo blinked in curiosity and complete bewilderment.

“Yeah…” Slowly Wufei knelt beside Duo. “Before you ask, let me just say that I’m avoiding some… people.” Duo blinked then grinned widely, so Wufei cut him off again before any remark could be made. “So Maxwell, what we’re you doing?”

“Well, at first, I was just jogging… You know, to keep in shape. Then Trowa called on the cell phone and asked me to come home.” He blinked and then rummaged about to look for his phone and assure himself that it was still in working order. “So I picked up speed and started running home. I just wasn’t paying attention, now here I am.”

The Chinese boy chuckled then stood once more offering his comrade a hand. Duo took it and he helped him to his feet. “Well, I understand why you are hurrying home, but try not to rearrange your face in the process. I don’t think that will please Barton too much.”

Duo laughed softly and nodded. “Thanks Wu-man.” His friend nodded slowly.

“I’d better let you get on home, so Trowa won’t worry. As for me, don’t be surprised if you don’t see me for a while. I have a feeling that I’m gonna be in hot water for a long time.” Wufei shivered then nodded again to the American before turning to walk away.

“Take care Wu! If you need a place to hide, drop by sometime. That is… if you don’t mind…”

Wufei laughed and shook his head. “That’s alright Maxwell. I’ll leave you love birds alone. I’ll have to face the music eventually anyway. You take care as well, and try not to hurt your self again. Tell Barton hello for me.”

“I will. Bye!” The other just nodded and slowly walked away. Duo laughed thinking it rather funny to see Wufei running from an “onna”. It really somewhat pleased him. Served him right for always picking on the “weaker sex” as he called it. Without another thought he turned and started his run home again, this time being a little bit more careful of where his foot fell. Unconsciously he slipped a hand briefly into his pocket to touch the velvet box it held. A smile touched his lips and he picked up the pace.

~ Trowa looked at the table quietly. Normally he didn’t cook. He neglected to inform Duo that he was indeed a pretty good cook. Whenever they ate at home, Duo would do the cooking. To his surprise, Duo was an excellent cook. He generally whined through the whole process, but in the end he reveled in the idea that HE was the one who made the meal.

A finger glided softly over the wooden surface of the table. Together they had put money they had saved and bought a nice little house. It was one story, a small kitchen, two bedrooms, a living room, a small dining room, and one bathroom. The bathroom part caused problems at first, because they both found out that showers were a special affair and both took a long time. The problem was solved with the idea of just forgetting to lock the door whenever one of them took a shower. Duo had been surprised really. He didn’t think Trowa could spend so much time in the shower. Though, he couldn’t complain cause he was just as bad.

As Trowa smiled at the thoughts he heard the door unlock and the door slowly push open. Taking a deep breath he lit the two candles in the center of the table. He really hadn’t bothered to dress up; the romantic stuff just didn’t come very easily to him. It was on the edge of the day as the night peaked over the eastern horizon; so the dining room was almost completely dark save for the tiny flickering flames of the candles. He stood to his feet and stared at the single entry into the dining room waiting for his love to come in.

Duo walked into the darkened house and looked about in search of the man that stole his heart. There on a table near the door sat a tiny white envelope with his name on it. Picking it up he pulled the white slip of paper out of it. There it read simply in well-formed print “Dinner is on the table.” He frowned slightly. /Leave it to Trowa to be romantic. / A soft laugh escaped him as he laid the envelope and the paper back onto the table. Slowly he walked toward the dining room and peeked his head in to see the table set very nicely complete with candles. What really caught his eye was the person standing before the table. Trowa’s eyes fixed silently onto him and he froze entranced by the soft flicker of candle light in the deep green eyes. Duo made a mental note that what Trowa was wearing wasn’t exactly romantic, but it looked down right sexy to him.

A soft smile crept into Trowa’s countenance as he watched Duo appraise him with sparkling eyes of royal purple. “Hey there.” Duo jumped slightly from his daze and blinked. His eyes had been drinking in every inch of the tall slender form, dressed only in a pair of hunter green boxers and a white oxford that wasn’t buttoned.

“Hey honey! I’m home!” a bright smile lit up Duo’s face and eyes as he closed the gap between the two of them. “Aw… Honey! You baked!” Duo winked and reached up to kiss Trowa softly before walking to the table. “I must say I am not dressed for the occasion.”

At this remark Trowa turned a light shade of red and smiled. “Oh, sweats and a tank top are quite alright with me.” He looked over Duo’s form slowly, that was deck in solid black as usual.

The American laughed as he pulled out a chair and motioned for the other to sit. “I’m glad you approve love.” Trowa sat slowly and nodded in silence. Sitting just across from Trowa, he smiled in glee. “I can’t believe you made dinner! This is great!” Before Trowa could even respond, Duo busied himself in heaping his plate full of food.

~ Upon finishing his meal Duo hopped up excitedly and beamed at his love. The heated looks exchanged between them all throughout the meal only made him more excited. “Ok love! Shower time!”

He watched Trowa’s smile fade in somewhat of a disappointment. Showers took forever and that meant he’d have to wait an entire hour before he could touch his love. “Oh, you want to take a shower?”

Duo grinned. “Now love, I’m a mess. All sweaty and yucky and I don’t think you should have to deal with that!” He bounded over to where Trowa was, fully aware of what his angel was thinking. In a purring tone he whispered into the taller man’s ear. “First though, I’d like to ask you something.”

The European shivered and turned to see Duo getting on his knees beside him His green eyes widened. “What is it Duo?” The eyes of violet danced in the candlelight as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a wine colored velvet box.

“Trowa… I want to ask you if you’ll marry me.” The voice was soft and somewhat shaky as he fumbled to open the box and reveal a white gold band inside. Written in elegant kanji about the band was “Duo and Trowa”.

Slowly it sank in and Trowa looked at Duo smiling wider than he’d ever smiled before. “Oh Duo… Of course!” He slid from the chair and into Duo’s arms as his love slipped the ring onto his left ring finger. He soon began to place small kisses sporadically over Duo’s smiling face.

“Now...” Duo pulled back halting Trowa’s actions. “About that shower.” He watched a small pout form on Trowa’s lips, which caused him to giggle. Leaning in he whispered once more in his ear. “I want you to join me.”

A soft giggle filled Duo’s ear and it surprised him. In all the time they’d lived together, not once had he heard Trowa giggle. “I would love to.” Slowly he pulled back just far enough to look Duo in the eyes. There he saw so much warmth and love. It sent electric chills down his spine. Without even realizing it Duo had slipped his arms about him and started walking toward the bathroom.

They entered and Duo pushed the door closed with his foot. Gently Duo sat Trowa down on the counter and leaned in taking his lips into a chaste kiss, as his hands found their way over the taller boy’s chest. Softly he slipped the shirt off of him dropping it to the counter. The former Heavy Arms pilot shivered slightly then whimpered as Duo pulled away from him breaking the kiss and all body contact.

With a small wink Duo turned to the shower and began to turn the knobs in an attempt to find the perfect temperature. Sighing softly Trowa watched growing impatient. Sliding off the counter, he proceeded to remove the rest of his clothes, which were only his boxers anyway. Taking a silent step closer, he reached out and gripped the fabric of Duo’s black tank top and started pulling it off.

At first Duo jumped in surprise, then he more than willing allowed the piece of clothing to be removed from his body. His lithe body sheened from the small layer of perspiration he’d acquired from his nightly exercising, and also from the excitement he felt from the contact he had made with his love. Lost in thought it took him a while to realize that Trowa was now running his hands down his legs removing his sweats. A soft whimper escaped him, as he felt lost in the warm sensation of Trowa’s hands running over his body. Soon, delicate fingers worked their way into his black silk boxers and peeled them away as well, leaving him completely bare before his love’s eyes. Slowly he regained his train of thought and reached out to turn the shower on, then pivoted on one foot to face the brilliant eyes of emerald.

As Duo faced him completely, Trowa inched closer and arched his back just enough so that his hardened member grinded into Duo’s causing the small American to groan and close his eyes. Soon Duo had regained control and dragged the both of them into the shower as Trowa managed to unbraid the silken chestnut hair before the warm water engulfed their intertwined bodies. Soon a flood of kisses and touches followed and the normal hour-long shower turned into two and only stopped due to a shortage of hot water.

~ Slowly Trowa regained consciousness to find himself enclosed in a jumbled mass of intertwined limbs and long chestnut brown hair. A smile curved his lips as he held on to his love a little more tightly. His eyes looked over Duo slowly then stopped upon seeing his left hand. The ring still adorned his finger and he quivered in excitement. He was so happy that it was indeed real and not a dream. Happiness and euphoria washed over him as he sighed softly and closed his eyes drifting in and out of sleep.

Duo stirred a little as he felt Trowa’s grip tighten slightly. He didn’t open his eyes, he was lost in the faint smell of their bodies mingled together touched with a smell of French vanilla and honey. The scent was so welcoming and warm. He knew that life was good. There no way he could thank whatever being enough for allowing him to love and be loved by the silent and elegant pilot. There was nothing in the world that he wanted. All he cared for was in his arms and he knew that Trowa’s heart belonged to him. That was all that mattered. And deep inside, he knew Trowa was thinking the same thing. Moving a hand slowly down Trowa left arm it stopped to grasp his hand. Duo’s fingertips played over the shining object on his fingers smiling, then just weaved his fingers into Trowa’s. In time they both fell in to a deep sleep smiles clearly adorning each countenance.

Yeah, life is good, when you look deeper into the hearts of those you love. Because there you will not only find the love you so desperately need, but also you find the piece of you that is missing. And between the two of them, they saw past the outward appearances, and saw the truth deeper within.

~*~ Owari ~*~

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