Author: Hervé
Disclaimers: Gundam Wing is the property of Sunrise, Bandai, and all associated parties. "In the Navy" is property of The Village People. This is a work of fiction produced exclusively for hentai and insanity purposes; no money exchanged hands, and I wish I could claim the rights to any of the characters but unfortunately it's not the case.
Warnings : Post Endless Waltz's fic, probably a bit OOC, absolute silliness, some yaoi's hint, and it's not beta-readed.
[AC200 - Preventer's Headquarters]
Lady Une : And now here's the last problem we need to solve before concluding our reunion. I've received worrying's rapports stating that we're desperatly lacking of new recruits for the Alliance's fleet. Anyone got a suggestion?
Noin : I guess that maybe I've the perfect solution.
Lady Une : Do tell colonel Noin.
Noin : Well, last month Relena has organized a show in order to collect money for charity's Societies. And the highlight of the show was when Heero, Wufei, Duo, Trowa, Quatre and Zechs done their parody of the Village People. You should have seen that, the public was practically hysterical.
::Lady Une start to smile diabolically :: Your suggestion is approved....
[In a mediterranean harbor]
::We can see a platform with musicians, loudspeakers, and spotlights. The entire place is packed with potential new recruits, and from up on the stage we can hear the sounds of a spirited discussion."
Heero growled : "I can't believe I got myself talked again into this for the sake of the mission"
Wufei : "I swear that I'll kill those onnas. "
Duo : "It's the 2543 times that you're saying this since Yesterday's morning. You really should try to think positive."
Wufei growled : "I DO NOT SEE ANYTHING GOOD IN THIS FUCK%@:§;! ....."
Duo : "I can't believe that you know so many various oath Wu-man."
Heero : "Wufei is right, there's nothing positive in this."
Duo : "There's always something good in each situation"
Heero : "Name me one good thing in this mess"
Duo : "Well,despite that stupid sailor hat which refuse to stay in place, I've got a nice costume this time."
Quatre : "Those stupid feathers are awfully itching. I shouldn't have trade my suit with yours Duo. Give me my suits back"
Duo : "Sorry Quatre, but a deal is a deal"
Trowa : "It's all your fault if we're in such a mess Zechs. Couldn't you remember the birthday of Noin. She's your girlfriend after all!"
Quatre : "Don't blame him, Trowa-kun. He's already paying for his crime. He'll probably pass four hours with his hairdresser to repair the mess done to his hair by this stupid suit"
Zechs : "Thanks, but I've set up something which should amply revenge us"
Wufei : "Tell us."
::Sally Po enters the stage interrupting the conversation:: "Okay, everyone get ready! It's show time!"
Zechs : "All right! All right! We're coming. "
::On the platform, there's some artificial fog and the musicians are starting to play. There's multicolor lasers on the scenes, then there's a great lighning and a biker, an Indian, a cowboy, a sailor, a cop and a construction worker appears from nowhere. The crowd cheers as Duo give them a dazzling smile and begin to sing.::
Where can you find pleasure
Search the world for treasure
Learn science technology
Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true
On the land or on the sea
Where can you learn to fly
Play in sports and skin dive
Study oceanography
Sign of for the big band
Or sit in the grandstand
When your team and others meet
(Except Duo who's is to occupied by singing, they all wonder what Zechs had planned. Specially, since he keep smiling more diabolically than Lady Une.)
In the navy
Yes, you can sail the seven seas
In the navy
Yes, you can put your mind at ease
In the navy
Come on now, people, make a stand
In the navy, in the navy
Can't you see we need a hand
In the navy
Come on, protect the motherland
In the navy
Come on and join your fellow man
In the navy
Come on people, and make a stand
In the navy, in the navy, in the navy (in the navy)
(Heero, who is dancing next to Duo, suddently starts to do some h'mm *interesting* and really h'mm *sexy* steps in front of Duo. Duo gives Heero's leather pants a very long look. Then he throw his shirt while smiling mischievously at his blushing moustache's boyfriend. In the crowd, girls are fighting for his shirt)
They want you, they want you
They want you as a new recruit
(Quatre's tries to discretly itch his back, and surprises Trowa in the act of smiling at his unease. Quatre starts to tickle him with his headdress. Wufei who's laughing at Quatre's revenge nearly misses a step and ends up stepping on Zechs. The construction worker is less than pleased and shot him an angry glare through his sunglasses which made our stout-hearted cop shiver)
If you like adventure
Don't you wait to enter
The recruiting office fast
Don't you hesitate
There is no need to wait
They're signing up new seamen fast
Maybe you are too young
To join up today
Bout don't you worry 'bout a thing
For I'm sure there will be
Always a good navy
Protecting the land and sea
(Trowa who's really ticklish tries to grab Quatre's headdress. Quatre smiles sheepishly and tries to escape but Trowa catchs him with his lasso while everyone else join for the chorus)
In the navy <>Yes, you can sail the seven seas
In the navy
Yes, you can put your mind at ease
In the navy
Come on now, people, make a stand
In the navy, in the navy
Can't you see we need a hand
In the navy
Come on, protect the motherland
In the navy
Come on and join your fellow man
In the navy
Come on people, and make a stand
In the navy, in the navy, in the navy (in the navy)
(Wufei mentally swears vengeance against Lady Une and Noin while playing with his handcuffs. Maybe he could handcuff them, and shave their head in the name of justice.)
They want you, they want you
They want you as a new recruit
(Heero looked at Duo's bare chest and thanked god that he has whipped cream and strawberries left in his fridge)
Who me?
(Trowa pulled on his lasso and Quatre almost fell into his arms. Trowa snickered as he mentally point out how much this stupid costume was finally more practical than he ever thought it could be. Quatre and him will have lot of fun this week-end)
They want you, they want you
They want you as a new recruit
(Zechs is very thankful that this is quite finish which means Lady Une will soon pay a high price for humiliating them like this.)
But, but but I'm afraid of water.
Hey, hey look
Man, I get seasick even watchin' it on TV!
(Despite Zechs' sunglasses Wufei noticed the gleam in his eyes. Maybe Justice will be serve sooner than I tought)
They want you, they want you in the navy
(Everyone come closer from Duo for the final chorus)
Oh my goodness.
What am I gonna do in a submarine?
They want you, they want you in the navy
::The crowd whistles, applauds, cheers loudly, giving them a well deserved stanting ovation::
Zechs grabs Duo's microphone : Thanks!!! We're really touched by your kindness and we hope that we've convinced you to join the Alliance's fleet. But, if it's still not the case we've a special present for you. The first two hundred new recruits will receive a very special calendar which very interresting picture of Lady Une naked.
::Somewhere in the middle of the crowd we can hear a woman howing with rage "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". But her yells were lost amidst the general pushing and shoving towards the recruiting office.::
~The End~
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