Did I ever tell yall about the time I went to one of them Super Bowls? Well, it was back in 66 or 67, I don’t remember exactly which. Anyway, it was the first one. Of course they didn’t call em Super Bowls back then, it was the NFL-AFL Championship Game.

We were all sittin around the Lester's living room watching the game on his fancy new color TV. There was me, Big Bobby, Cousin Enoch and Lester. Lester was a druggist, so he had big money, Big Bobby had retired from the cemetery, Cousin Enoch was still tending bar over in Tawakoni back then and I was still working for the Railroad. Anyway Green Bay was beating up on the Cowboys, I don’t care what anyone says that Dandy Don was a fine QB, and Big Bobby was telling us about how he used to play linebacker for the Packers back in the 30's. I guess Lester got tired of hearing Bobby talk about it cause he told him. "Big Bobby, if you played for the Packers, you oughta be able to get us tickets to the Championship Game. If you get the tickets, I'll spring for the gas and motel and we'll drive out there in my Caddy"

Big Bobby looked at Lester and got one of those I'm fixin to beat the stuffin out of the county looks on his face and said "You better gas up the Caddy, we gonna leave first thang Tuesday morning."

Come Tuesday morning, the four of us loaded up in Lester's Caddy. Althou, Cousin Enoch thought he was a "Man of the World" he had never been out of Texas. After listning to him babble for an hour about Earthquakes, Indian attacks and dying of thirst crossing the Desert, we told him "Enoch, if you don’t shut up, we gonna leave you in Mexico and you wont never find your way back." I guess I oughta explain, Enoch was convinced that New Mexico was part of Mexico not the United States. It didn’t matter what we said he just wouldn’t listen.

After two hours of driving we got to Dallas. Big Bobby, insisted we go downtown and "look" for bullet casings on the grassy knoll. Well you know how it is, when Big Bobby insists you had better do it. Of course we didn’t know he had a pocket full of shells that he was gonna scatter all over that little hill for the Yankees to find. I think I mentioned once Big Bobby has an odd sense of humor. We spent about 4 hours crawling around "Looking" for shells before the Dallas cops ran us off.

We got back in the car and drove all night eating bologna sandwiches, drinking cokes and laughing about the looks on those Yankees Faces when they found the shells.

Wensday Morning we stopped for Breakfast at this little cafe in Van Horn Texas. Lester asked Big Bobby "Where do we pick up the tickets? Did one of your old football buddies leave em at the stadium for us?" "Don’t you worry about them tickets. I told em Big Bobby and three of his bud's were gonna be there. Them tickets will be there waiting for us!"

Enoch got to flirting with the waitress. We told him "Enoch, boy we ain’t from around here you better be careful." Well Enoch, never was too good at listning. He kept right on a flirtin, and it was pretty obvious that the little waitress was getting frustrated. When she brought us our bill, he patted her on the butt and said "can we work this off in trade?" Then we heard this voice from behind us "Boy you best get your hands off that little girl before you regret being born." We turned around and there was the little bity guy standing up and trying to look mean. Well all cracked up laughing at this little squirt trying to look tough. Then this Mountain wearing a badge stood up and said "Is there a problem Judge Roy?" the little bity guy said "Yep, arrest that fool, he was manhandling my daughter." Well, This big ole Sheriff grabbed Enoch and drug him off to jail. We asked the Judge "Can we bail him out or pay his fine or something? His Momma would never forgive us if we left him here." The Judge said, "My court starts at 10 o’clock we will decide what to do with that fool then."

We hung around till 10, arguing about weather or not we should bail him out. They dragged him into the Judges court at 10 and it was obvious Enoch was scared to death that he was gonna end up in Huntsville. I mean the boy was crying and beggin the Judge for mercy. The Judge asked him "Boy do you know what they do to people out here that mess with a good woman? They either shoot em or make them marry them! Now Enoch weren’t the smartest man but he wasn’t a complete fool, well to make a long story short you have met Cousin Juney, Enoch wife ain’t ya? Now you know how they met. Well after the wedding the 5 of us headed for California, the only one still talking to Enoch was Juney.

Thursday morning we pull into El Paso the half way mark. Junie starts talking about how neat Mexico is and how cheap everything is there. Well I don’t wanna say Big Bobby is cheap but the idea of getting his little Cindy Jean a really nice gift for almost nuthin was too much for him, of course Mabel did ask me to bring sumptin back for her and the twins. So we all ganged up on Lester, He finally agreed to stop when Big Bobby said "I’m gonna tell Billie Sue you said she had better be happy with that Pecan roll from Stuckey’s cause you weren’t wasting no more money on her."

Now don’t get me wrong, Lester’s Daughter Billie Sue is a nice kid most of the time but that girl is as spoiled as she is pretty, and the only time Lester ever told her no was when she wanted to date Enoch.

So we parked the Caddy and trooped across the border. Junie got real excited and started flitin from shop to shop. Enoch slowly disappeared behind a stack of packages and the phrase "Enoch Honey wouldn’t this look good on me?"

Big Bobby and I cracked up laughing and went to find things for our wives. Lester pointed at a cafe and said "Let’s meet over there in three hours and have lunch then get back on the road."

Big Bobby found two of the biggest Elyphants I ever saw in my life. He said "I’m gonna put these right in front of the house. Cindy Jean will love em." I found some real nice pots and this really nice painting of an Eagle on Velvet for Mabel. I bought the twins a checkers set carved out of stone. I got a really good deal on it cause they had carved all the checkers to look like People, Horses and Castles.

We wandered around for a while then headed for the cafe. Of course since this was Mexico they didn’t call it a cafe, they called it a Cantina. When we got there poor Enoch was sittin at a table surrounded by packages while Junie kept asking him why he didn’t like this dress or that dress.

Awhile later Lester came in with a smug look on his face; We ate our fill of beans and Tortilly’s. Lester wouldn’t tell us what he bought he kept saying, "You’ll see".He was so happy about the bargain he got he paid for our lunch. We were surprised to put it mildly, when we went outside and found Lester’s Caddy right in front of the cafe. There were a pair of Cow horns on the front of it and Trailer attacked to the back. We all said "LESTER?" "Well I bought Billie Sue some furniture and a few other things."

It took us 3 hours to get through customs but then we were headin west again. Later that night after Junie asked Lester for the Millonth time "How come you never let Enoch Drive?" Lester said " I Give up, Enoch you drive tomorrow." We stopped for the night in a little town on the Arizona border.

Friday Morning after breakfast we all piled in the Caddy with Enoch and Junie up front. I leaned over and whispered to Big Bobby " I Don’t know whats worse Enoch’s driving or Junie’s talking. I sware that girl talks more than Billie Sue whines." Big Bobby laughs and tells me "She ain’t stopped talking since we met her, I bet she talks in her sleep."

Lester just sat over there and looked unhappy. He kept muttering "Enoch, Don’t you dare wreck my car.""Enoch honey, you gonna stop at that place all them billboards are advertising?" "Oh, Sure Junie Baby, the guys wont mind." I couldn’t help but think, here we go again. Enoch turned off the Hiway and said according to that last sign its only 20 miles up this road. I Guess we were too busy lookin at those naughty playin cards I bought in Mexico and didn’t notice that Enoch was turning on smaller and smaller roads, until Junie said "Honey, I don’t think that’s a road."

We jerked our heads up and looked around. Weren’t nuthin to see but desert and cactus. Then Enoch asked in a real sheepish voice "Lester, do you carry extra gas in a can in the trunk?" Big Bobby got a big ole Grin on his face and said "Junie, this is why we don’t let Enoch drive, that boy can find trouble at a church social."

All Lester would say is "Stop, the car, I knew better, why did I let him drive." Lester took to turning the car around. You know Lester he got mad and didn’t pay attention to what he was doing. He got the Trailer stuck. So there we sat No Water, No Food, Almost out of Gas and the back wheels of the trailer buried in the sand. I’m thinking it cant get no worse than this when Enoch said "Hiram, did you bring your gun?" "Enoch, you fool if any of us had a gun we would’ve shot you already, why in the Lords name do you want a gun?"

He pointed behind me and said "Cause, I think those are Indians." I turned around and sure enough there were two long haired guys sittin on horses watchin us.

I figured what do we got to lose and waved at em. They rode on up to us. Enoch raised his right hand and said "How". Big Bobby shouted, "Shut up Enoch, that’s only in the movies." The taller of the two shook his head and said, "We are with the Navajo Tribal Police, what are you people doing on the Reservation?" Lester shouted "Enoch, I "m gonna kill you!" We spent the next hour and a half explaining to the officers the how and why of us being there. They got us out of the ditch and led us to the "Trading Post", where we got gas, water and bought some real pretty jewelry. They turned out to be real nice guys, but I sware they were laughin at us the whole time.

By the time we got to the Motel on the California Border not even Junie wanted Enoch to drive.

We got an early start Saturday mornin, Big Bobby was drivin and I had shotgun, Lester and Enoch were in the back seat arguing about whether or not Merchant Marines were part of the Navy. Junie of course thought Enoch was right, I sware those two were made for each other. Neither one of em was what you would call Big Guns in the Thinkin Dpt.

About noon Junie started asking about Lunch. I don’t know if it was just me or the trip or what but the idea of stopping with this bunch made me nervous. I suggested we just get some bologna and bread and pushin on to LA. Well Lester wouldn’t hear of it, he said "After 4 hours in the back seat with Enoch & Junie playing lovey dovey I need a break."

We pulled into a little roadside Diner and all piled out. We got us a big table and Lester spread out the map and started trying to figure out where we were and how much farther we had to go. Big Bobby went outside to make a phone call to his friend in LA with the Packers.

About the time our food came a whole bunch of big ole boys with long hair and black leather jackets came in. The cook came runnin out of the back "Barry, we don’t want no trouble this time. Please just order your food and leave." Enoch blurted out "I bet that’s one of them motorcycle gangs like in that Marlon Brando movie." Junie said, "I bet them leather pants are hot." Big Bobby just grinned and said, " I always wanted a motor bike". Lester said " Would yall just shut up and eat so we can get out of here before the trouble starts."

I kept staring at the one called "Barry" cause I could sware I knowed him. Now I guess Lester was getting real worried, cause Enoch and Junie kept whisperin and gigglin, Big Bobby was starin out the winder and I was staring at that "Barry" guy. After a few minutes Big Bobby turned and shouted "Which one of you boys is riding the Indian with the Airborne Symbol on it?" The only sound in the Diner was Lester saying "Oh Crap".

Well you all know Big Bobby was a big man, but you could tell just by lookin at him, he wasn’t a mean one. This "Barry" fellow stood up and I sware he was the biggest man I had seen since the war and looked like he was mean enough to beat up the whole town just for the fun of it.

"That’s my bike old man, If you gotta problem with it I’ll stomp on you till your dog don’t even know ya." Lester started sweatin, Junie started cryin, Big Bobby turned Red, Enoch started to get up and I cracked up laughin. One of the bikers looked at me and shouted "What the devil you laughing at Farmer John!" Lester grabbed my arm and said "Hiram have you lost your mind, their gonna kill us." I finally managed to say "The last time I heard someone say that, the pretty little nurse stuck that big needle in his butt anyway, and I wanna tell you right now that was the only time I ever heard Sgt. Barry "Cowboy" Zahn yell."

Barry looked at me and said "What’s your name, do I know you?" I told him " The last time I saw you Cowboy, you said ya were going back to Colorado to buy a ranch, marry you girl and ignore the world. Come on Cowboy its me Private Hiram Trayweek and I know who snuck that French wine into the hospital."

Barry said "I’ll be durned, boy you’re still finding trouble every time I see ya. Boys back off Hiram jumped into France with me, if those are his friends then their mine too." Barry sat down with us and said "What the devil is a Texas Redneck like you doing in California and don’t tell me this is that big you kept telling stories about 20 years ago --------Big Bobby?" We all got to talkin and laughing for awhile then Enoch said "We are all going to that big football game in LA, why don’t yall come with us? I bet Big Bobby can get yall tickets." Junie added, "yea Big Bobby used to play for those Green Jay Chiefs!" Big Bobby muttered "Packers, Green Bay Packers." Barry asked Big Bobby "Do you think we can get tickets?" Big Bobby looked around the room and said "30 tickets to the biggest game of the year, easy as diggin a hole in the rain." Big Bobby went outside to make another phone call and the rest of us finished lunch.

I gotta admit when we left that diner it had to be a funny site. A Big Red Caddy with cowhorns on the front pullin a trailer being escorted by 25 of the meanest lookin bikers you ever saw. When we got to LA later that night, Barry made arraignments to meet us at the stadium and took off. All Lester would say is "I ain’t ever going anywhere with any of yall again." When we got in our Rooms Big Bobby made another call and I could hear him telling somebody the name of our motel and the room number.

Come Sunday morning we all got up and went acrost the street to the Waffle house for breakfast. We were sittin there eatin and cuttin up when this big ole black Limousine pulled up in front of our motel. Big Bobby jumped and ran across the street to talk to em. Lester looked at me and said, "You don’t think he really played for the Packers do ya?" I just laughed at him and said, "Don’t you?"

A few minutes later Big Bobby came back in and said "Our ride’s here". Lester paid the bill without thinkin (Personally I think he was in shock), and we all went outside and got in that big ole car. That Driver took us up to the main gate of the stadium and said "Mr. Bullen, there should be some one at the ticket office waiting for you." When we got to the Ticket window a young feller there greeted Big Bobby like he was some kinda hero. That young feller took us down to the Packers dressin room and introduced us to the players. After a few minutes he took us back upstairs to our seats on the 50 yard line. Barry and his boys were already there.

Well the Packers won the game and we had a great time. Said goodbye to Barry and headed for home. Remind me some time to tell yall the story about Barry, the Nurse and that French wine.