Live a Little - Epiphany

To Live a Little
Part One: Epiphany
Started by Silk


The sound of glass breaking is a unique sound, and something about it perks the curiosity of all who hear it. Silk didn't care who heard or who got curious. She'd just gotten off the phone with Kisako-san, president of the neighborhood association. He'd asked her to represent their area in a city wide panel on how to improve the business sector and downtown. She'd turned him down. She had classes to teach at Furinkan when the meetings would have been held. He asked if she could head up a committee on reducing street crime. She was working at the hospital those days. He finally requested her presence at a special award ceremony they'd won from the mayor for their work in creating a childcare program at one of the parks. She had finals that day.

"I'm going insane." she whispered softly to herself as she looked down at the broken bits of glass sculpture she'd just so ruthlessly crushed. It had been from Alex. Not event he thought of her erstwhile boyfriend lightened her mood. More and more lately it seemed like she was dating a four year old. He lacked the emotional maturity she craved, and the fun was gone. "Why am I doing this? What happened to my life?" she laid her head on the counter and cried. not knowing what else to do. "I have no time for myself, I'm doing so much. I'm so damn perfect I make myself sick. Why am I doing this to myself?" no answers manifested from the air, and she just sobbed. Something she hadn't done in years.

Up the street, Fujiko was also having an off day. The energy she so much admired in Nerima seemed to disappear today and with it her creative ideas. A change of pace and a change of scene was needed here, otherwise she'd go insane. Fujiko decided to close up her shop early and head up to Curses and Cures and take a look at the items there. She always meant to, but things always kept popping up. Today would be different. She could feel it in the air.

Fujiko packed up a sketchpad, some pencils, and headed up to the shop. Unlike Fujiko, Silk was a responsible individual and the store was open. Fujiko strolled right in, cheerfully saying "Hey Silk." The redhead's mood changed when she saw Silk sitting at the desk and crying. "Silk. What's wrong?" Fujiko asked with great concern.

"Better to ask, what isn't." Silk said softly as she looked up at Fujiko. Her eyes were red from crying, and they held a barely controlled pain straining against bonds so old and engrained that Silk didn't even remember them anymore. "What's wrong? I wish that I knew." the Chinese teenager buried her face in her arms once again. "I wish I knew."

Fujiko hugged Silk and attempted to comfort her the best she knew how. She had seen her aunt go through times just like this so Fujiko knew to approach the situation gently. "I'll be back in just a bit," she softly said "so don't go anywhere." Fujiko then walked over and flipped the open sign to "closed" and removed the line from Silk's telephone. No need for unnecessary interruptions.

She walked back to the still crying Silk. "It's alright, Hon, we all have our bad days." Fujiko said soothingly. "Pick the last thing that upset you and we'll start from there."

Silk's tears slowed long enough for her to speak, but her voice was still thick. "Kisako-san from the neighborhood association just called. He wasn't asking for anything unreasonable, but it just hit me that I have no time for anything anymore. I have so many responsibilities, and people rely on me so much. I'd forgotten that I'm a teenager, not an adult. My last birthday passed without me noticing. I'm 17 years old, but people treat me like I'm 30, and I act it!" Silk looked at Fujiko. "Do you know what I mean?"

"I think I do even though I have never experienced it. I didn't know you were only 17. I thought you were Scarf's age." Fujiko said in an apologizing tone. "I have lots of experience in overloading myself unfortunately. There's just so much I want to do. It gets hard to figure out where to start. That's why I occasionally do irresponsible things. Just to shake things up a little."

Fujiko smiled wide. "Like today, for example. Right now, I should be in my shop, helping customers and getting some art work done. Instead, I'm here talking to you. It looks like you just you forgot to set some time for yourself. Ya know, you sent Perfume over to get a hobby. Maybe you need one too."

Silk looked at Fujiko. "I have hobbies. I just don't have time for them anymore." she motioned at the plants that surrounded her desk. "If it weren't for Scarf watering them half of them would be dead by now. And he only does it because he knows how hard I worked at raising these ones." she rested her chin on her hand. The tears were mostly gone, but her eyes were far from carefree. "By the time I get home I fall into bed, asleep before my head hits. Between Furinkan, regular college, working at the hospital, studying making sure everything is ok with the shop, maybe seeing Alex, I don't have any energy left for myself."

Fujiko looked at Silk with concern. "I'm not sure what to tell you. You need to drop at least one, but I'm not sure which. The only one I know you need to keep is the plants. You need to spend more time with them."

Fujiko grabbed her sketchbook, pulled out a pencil, and sighed. "So many things to do. I came here to join the drama club and have the art shop on the side. Instead, I'm at the shop or at school. The shop's the shop and school is studying. No Drama Club. No Soccer. The only thing going for me is my hobby is my business."

Fujiko looked up from her drawing, right at Silk. "Add to it that I run into a nice guy that looks exactly like Ro, my old boyfriend. Ya know, it's almost like he's been reincarnated. So much the same and yet so different."

Fujiko realized that she was meandering. "I'm sorry, Silk. It's just what's been keeping me up at nights."

Silk's face turned thoughtful, "Do you really care about Scarf that much, or is it that he looks like this Ro person?" her mind was working, and she decided that she was going to drop her Furinkan internship, and probably most of what she was doing in the neighborhood association. But her mind was now focussed on what Fujiko was saying. Favors in listening have to be returned.

Fujiko put her chin under her hands. "Both and that's what surprises me. If I had the choice, I would go for Ro. Seeing Scarf makes me miss him. I could joke around with Ro a lot more than I can with Scarf. Scarf is always so dedicated, so serious. He's always looking back over his shoulder, fearful of various things. There's a strong part in me that wants to protect him, to let him know that things are okay."

Fujiko looked down at her sketchbook and then back up. "Even when I see him smile, I have the feeling that I'm out of my league on this one. I don't like the feeling of can't be done unless I choose to for it to be. So I'm drawn closer."

Fujiko shuddered and shook her head. "That's not good. I sound like one of those girls who chase Scarf and I'm better than them. They talk in terms of forever and I'm just not a forever person. Ro taught me not to be. Live for the moment because you do not know what will happen tomorrow."

Fujiko looked back at Silk. She was supposed to be helping her and here Fujiko was talking about her feelings for Scarf. She shook her head and smiled an ironic smile. "This is a mistake, isn't it? I mean, he lives for his culture and upholding it the best he can. I don't have 3000 years of things to fall back on or hold me. I love the present day and it's what keeps me going. He needs someone serious, someone forever. I don't think I could do forever with Scarf, even if I wanted to. Right now, I'm just not sure. It's like we are from two different worlds. Yeah, the more I think about it. The more I would be poison to Scarf in the long run."

Fujiko spoke now with more confidence and with a lighter weight upon her shoulders. "So how's your love life with Alex?"

Silk considered for a moment, then decided that honesty as Fujiko was displaying deserved reciprocation. "What love life ? Isn't love supposed to be something between equals? I feel like I'm a thousand years older then he is, emotionally. I mean, he may have been through some of the same hells that I'm traversed, but he didn't take the lessons from the pain like I did. He takes himself very seriously, and throws a fit if other people don't. His ego depends on other people's approval, and I think he enjoys the crowds of girls that fawn over him. It reassures him of his own 'worth'. He thinks he's in love with me, but I doubt it. I'd like to be free of him." Silk stopped in her rant and considered, "And why shouldn't I be? Why should I tie myself down to him? He'll get over it soon enough."

Fujiko nodded. "Ro was like that, too. So was I then, but he grew up when I did and as I did. Sounds like you've outgrown him. No harm in admitting that and moving on. Nothing is forever, Ya know. Seems like we both need to acknowledge that. It's not that somebody wouldn't comfort on the rebound. Kodachi, I know, is after him at least. Brush, too for that matter."

Fujiko was impressed at Silk's maturity and secretly wished that she could be a little more like Silk. That was what Scarf was after. She grew into a mischievous grin. This conversation needed a little levity. "By the way, I know the real reason why Scarf waters your flowers. It's not because you worked hard on them." Fujiko said in a teasing matter. Deep down Fujiko knew that Scarf would be scared of what Fujiko would say next, but Silk needed to know. It would make things easier on them both. After all, as her old beau taught her, time is short.

"Yeah, Brush would be more then happy to 'comfort' him." Silk snorted, then caught what Fujiko had said last. "What do you mean, he doesn't... Why else would he?" she looked somewhat confused.

Fujiko was caught off guard for just a minute. "The Sage didn't know ?!?!" Fujiko thought to herself. "Oh Brother. This was going to be a red letter day for Silk." She looked at Silk and twisted her fingers around, trying to act innocent, then looked Silk straight in the eye. "He does it because he loves you. He knows the plants make you happy and that's all he really cares about. Just your happiness. He'll even sacrifice his own feelings to make you happy. Your love is his biggest hope; your rejection of him is his biggest fear. I just can't compete with that."

Silk sat staring at Fujiko for a minute that stretched into two. "I... How do you know? I never noticed... I mean, we've been friends for so long it never occurred to me..." for once Silk was at loss for words.

Fujiko grinned and nodded. They were all in for some changes up ahead. "It's okay. You were just too close to notice. Replay the tape in your mind and you'll see I'm right. I noticed it at my first supper at your house. His eyes shine just a little bit more when you're around."

Fujiko looked at her sketchbook. She ripped up the top page, crinkled it up into a ball, and threw it into the wastepaper basket. Then looked at the closed sign. "On second thought, that may have been too much too soon. Just file that in the back of your head. I know exactly what you need right now. You need a Ko-chan Special Number 63. Pack your overnight bag and bring some spending money. You're not going to available for a while."

"Kochan special number sixty three." Silk repeated. "Alright." she trotted up the stairs and reappeared about thirty seconds later. "My policy is to always have a bag packed." she lifted her knapsack in one hand. "I think there's something to what you said... but I'm not going to do anything about it yet." she left pulled out a pad of paper. "Should I leave a note?"

Fujiko nodded yes, even Fujiko would leave a note just in case. "But it should be simple. Out. Will Return. Don't wait up. That works for me. Then off we go, first stop will be my house so I can take care of a few things. Nothing major. Just grabbing a change of clothes and changing my answering machine message, just in case Aunt Mikara calls. After that, the train station and our adventure begins."

"Indeed." Silk scratched a hasty, and rather obscure note. "Epiphany. Living a little. Back tomorrow maybe. No worries. Love, Me." she placed the note where the others were sure to find it and joined Fujiko at the door. "Let's move!"

End part one.

To Love a Little Part 2: