20 years of those I did Home Dialysis with him
except for the times he spend in hospital.
I did this in an effort to keep him more comfortable
and it was the only way I could help.
Much was said about his tenacity and his courage
But what made it work was the love between us
and the encouragement we gave each other.
In the last 6 years things changed so much
and kept gettiung progressively worse - for him
and for me, but now in separate ways.
Medical drugs change people, and dialysis, having begun
during the years when the treatment was not
as sophisticated as today - exacted a heavy toll
from both of us. From that time on I felt as if I was
emotionally totally alone, and all life centered about
my husband but not encompassing me. Like a shadow
which needs to be there, but has no life of it's own and
follows wherever it is meant to be.
These pages convey feelings from the last 7 years
of my life with my husband
and are part of my effort to get my life going
after my husband died.
Hopefully it might help others to find
that they are not alone with their feelings
through these difficult times.
If you would like to contact me to comment,
or to write to me.
click here.
