Boy wants his vote changed in Florida

By Brian J Melton

Special Report---Timothy Lemons 19 of Miami, Florida, has an IQ of 71, just one point above mental retardation…so Timothy can vote. Well, Timothy did vote on Tuesday and now, with the Presidential Race tied by the closest margin in the past 40 years, he wants his vote back.

“I…didn’t…mean…to cause this…problem,” said Timothy early Wednesday morning. “If I…had…known that this…would have…happened…I wouldn’t have voted for Pat…Buchanan.”

Pat Buchanan garnered 1 vote in the state of Florida on Tuesday and could play the part of the spoiler if Bush wins the state of Florida. Timothy Lemons would have voted for Al Gore if Buchanan weren’t on the ticket, and many wonder why Timothy voted for Buchanan in the first place.

“I like…his…name…” said Timothy while eating a piece of chocolate cake. “It’s neat…Buchanan…Buchannnnannnnnan…Buch…see…it’s fun,” he said, giggling like a schoolgirl.

Pat Buchanan said in a press conference that, “The people of Florida have spoken, and they want REFORM!” When asked how he felt about the fact that his only supporter in Florida was a 19 year-old mentally incompetent custodial worker, Mr. Buchanan said, “One cannot question the vote of his constituents…even if they are retards.”

“So can I change my vote? Can I? Can I?” said Timothy after hearing that the Reform Party Candidate supports the rapid extermination of Blacks, Hispanics, Gays, Jews, Catholic School Girls who won’t sleep with him, and midgets. “Oh PLLLLEEEEEAASE let me revote…PLEEEEASSSSSSEEEE!”

Someone needs to tell that boy that he done fucked up...