This past weekend my family and I decided to take a trip to Six Flags Over Texas for my sister's 15th birthday. Along with my immediate family, we brought my sister's boyfriend and my lovely girlfriend Schnookems. We left our hotel on Sunday morning (July 30th), and drove the 15 miles to Six Flags. After paying an atrocious $8.00 a car to park in the parking lot at Six Flags and then paying a whopping $35.00 a person to get our happy little asses into the park, we, as a family, were ready for some good old fashioned consumer fun! Now, I didn't bitch too much about the fact that the log ride was an hour wait at 10:30 in the morning, and I was actually pleasantly surprised when there was really no wait at The Shockwave. I did complian a tad when I found out that the Texas Giant, which is really one of the only reasons to GO to Six Flags, was closed for repairs...I figgured it was better than the rickety old thing collapsing with dozens of middle aged white americans screaming to their collective deaths.
Now, there were three rides that I was eagerly awaiting to ride at Six Flags. They were as follows...Mr. Freeze, Batman The Ride, and the all new Dino Island! Mr. Freeze was fast as shit....70 mph to be exact...and it lasted a total of 45 seconds. Kind of like a virgin on his first night of sex. Fast, furious, and leaving you feeling quite unsatisfied. As for Batman the ride...I loved it. It was better than I could have imagined. As all rides at Six Flags, you wait for what seems like three days for a ride that lasts 35 seconds, but this one was worth it. You are suspended from track with your legs dangling and it takes you through several twists and loops. It was....great. On a scale of 1-10, I give it a eight.
Now for Dino Island 3D. Initally I was extremly giddy about being able to ride this attraction. This excitment soon abeted after sitting in line for exactly an hour and a half and being blugeoned the whole time by a wanna-be boy band called Boy2K. We were finally given our 3D glasses and placed in our respective "teams". After being debreifed by a pathetic attempt (even by ammusement park standards) at a newscast, we were lead to our seats and instructed to place our seatbelts on and to make sure our trays were placed in their full upright and locked positions. Then this girl, who basically had no understanding of the language of English, came on and garbled something about screaming when the lights went off. I figgured by this time that the ride was going to suck because if someone has to "instruct" you to "make some noise", the ride is obviously not doing it's job. I was right...but even I underestimated the ride's ability to bore me to tears. Actually the only good thing about the ride itself, if it can even be called a ride, was that it lasted about 3 minutes. The 3D technology was done better in 1983 with the Jaws 3D movie, the seats were basically rigged to make sure that you left the theatre feeling like you just had your ass thoughly kicked, and the sound was about as Hi-Fi as my father's 8-Track. Basically, Dino Island 3D was an hour and a half of my life that I will never get back. I urge you, Unfinished Readers, to boycott this pathetic excuse for entertainment. Please learn from my misery and stay the hell away from Dino Island 3D.
Thank you for your care and wisdom oh great leader!
I went to Dino Island 3D and I thought it was a brilliant venture into the world of computer annimation and it marks the new journey into interactive adventure rides.