I Melt

It is so hard to describe what has been unseen. Familiarity is a fondness I have long since abandoned. Oceans seemed to stand in the way of emotions, And my eyes never gazed upon such a star. Yet now, like a blundering mess, I stumble over words A childlike innocence envelops my heart. No longer the suave, cool headed man Who stands calm in the face of virtue. But a meek young boy, who could never make a friend or turn a single head. Words that usually flow like water in a stream become a garbled mess of rapidly moving feelings and uncertainties. Awkwardness leaps forth from my soul as I try and remember what I usually do in a situation of intimacy. Yet nothing I have learned or experienced all of 19 years has prepared me as I gaze into the blue sea of her eyes. My heart wants to scream, I hate all that I am. Yet her tenderness radiates and calms the child within. I want to take her into my arms and behold the beauty that lies within. Still I cannot. My emotions revert me into something I haven't been in a long time...someone who cares. An awkward, uncool, bumbling, tounge tied loser that WANTED down to my very soul to kiss her, yet could not find the courage and self assurance to contemplate it. I'm scared because I know my heart will lie within her. I'm scared of the comfort, I'm scared of the pain. I'm scared of being who I seemed to let escape so many years ago. I'm scared of loving her so much...the sun and the moon cannot exchange places without her there.

- By Brian Melton 1998

An open soul can never be harbored

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