PONDEROUS PONDERINGS AND AMUSING IRRELEVANT FACTS
- If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
- Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
- Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
- If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights
- If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
- When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
- If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell her she has the right to remain
- Why is the word abbreviation so long?
- If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
- Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
- What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only
- Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
- Is it possible to be totally partial?
- What's another word for thesaurus?
- When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
- If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
- Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
- Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream?
- Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
- Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
- When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
- Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special
- Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
- Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
- If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
- What was the best thing before sliced bread?
- How can they tell that twin lobsters are really twins?
- How does a thermos know when to keep something hot, hot...and something
- What is the speed of dark?
- Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
- If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of
earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
- How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
- What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
- After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the
- If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
- What's another word for synonym?
- If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it
considered a hostage situation?
- When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
- Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
- Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't
afraid to have a Chapter 11?
- How can there be self-help groups?
- Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink
- Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited
- If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
- Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
- Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment,
but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?
- Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
- Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
- Where are Preparations A through G?
- Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
- If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
- When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the
top one away?
- When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why
you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
- What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
- If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon
called a yellow? ---- Or maybe I'll just have a big bunch of purples
- Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
- If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
- "I haven't lost my mind, It's backed up on disk. Somewhere..."