I was too shocked to move or speak. Had I heard right? Had Taylor just asked me out? When I saw him still standing there, I knew he had. "Taylor..." I started, then could think of no words to express my happiness that he had finally asked me out. I was just about to throw my arms around him to show the feelings I could express in no other way, when I stopped for a minute to consider. Was this really the right move? Did I really want this? I thought I had wanted to just be friends. Then I thought of Taylor's fame. I had never wanted to be famous. If I went out with him, I eventually would be recognized, and probably hated. Next I considered his schedule. He would always be leaving, and it wouldn't be fair to either of us. Finally I thought of the fans. They would be heartbroken if Taylor got a girlfriend. I decided I couldn't do that to so many people, including Taylor and me.
"Taylor," I began again, "I...I can't." With that, I ran from the building crying.
I got in the car and drove home, crying all the way. I couldn't believe what I had just done. Taylor Hanson had just asked me out, which was what I had dreamed of for years, and I said no!
When I got home, I tried to stop crying, but it didn't work. As soon as I came in the door, Anne asked me what was wrong. For several minutes, I could not say a word. Finally, I managed to gasp out, "Taylor."
"Did he hurt you??? I'll kill him if he did!"
I quickly shook my head. Eventually, I managed to say three words: "Asked...me...out."
"He asked you out?" I nodded through my tears. "I thought you wanted that! So, what's wrong, then?"
I started crying harder. For several minutes more, I could not speak. Finally, I said, "I...said...no."
Anne seemed to sense then that she should just leave me alone. I went to my room and fell on my bed, still crying.
For the rest of the week, I was in a rotten mood. Everyone at school asked me what was wrong, since I almost never got like that. Usually I just brushed them off. The only person I told was Michelle. She sympathized, but I could tell she couldn't really understand. After all, she hadn't refused the guy of her dreams when he asked her out. Taylor called several times. I always said I was busy, then promptly found something to do so it wouldn't be a total lie. That Thursday, I told my parents that I had too much homework. That wasn't true, of course; I just couldn't face seeing Taylor. They didn't really believe me, but they let me stay home anyway.
At about 9:00 that night, the phone rang. I was reading in my room when my mom opened my door and stepped into my room. "Monica, Taylor is on the phone. And I have had enough of this. You will talk to him, right now. Now go."
Reluctantly, I left my room and picked up the phone. "Hello."
He got straight to the point. "Monica, why have you been avoiding me?"
"I..." I started. "I have been very busy lately."
"Don't give me that, Monica! I know you have not had that much homework. And you've never missed gymnastics before for homework. What did I do, and why did you react like you did on Tuesday?"
He knew me too well. "Okay, you're right about the homework. And you didn't do anything." I took a deep breath and began my explanation. "When you asked me out, at first I was so happy. I had felt the same way for a while, but I thought you still thought of me as just a friend. Then I started to reconsider. Taylor, our relationship wouldn't be fair to anyone."
"Monica, I don't care what the fans think. Ike and Zac have girlfriends, and the fans haven't done anything."
"Taylor, did you forget about us? It would be unfair to us, too. We might never see each other again. You would always be on the road, and when you weren't, you'd be in Tulsa, not here in Austin. I just...I'm not ready to commit to something like that."
I heard Taylor sigh. "I understand," he said. "And I'm sorry for pushing you. I just really like you. But I guess it would be better to be just friends."
"Thank you, Taylor," I said gratefully. He understood.
Chapter 20
Love Takes Time
Story Page
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