You Know Your're from Northern Canada When

you only own three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup

you design your Holloween costumes to fint over snow suits

the mosquitoes have landing lights

the men are men, and so are the women

you have more miles on your snowblower then your car

you have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat

you thought Grumpy Old Men was a documentary

Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier then the toy stores ath Christmas

you live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is one metre above the ground

you've taken your kids trick or treating in a blizzard

driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow

you think everyone form the city has an accent

you think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with 8 buttons

you owe more money on your snowmobile then your car

the local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page but requires 6 pages for sports

at least twice a year the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant

the most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun

your snowblower gets stuck on the roof

you think the start of moose season is a national holiday

you head south to go to your cottage

you frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck

you know which leaves make good toilet paper

the mayor greets you on the street by your first name

there is only one shopping plaza in town

the manicipality buys a zamboni before a bus

the major parish fundraiser isnt bingo its susage making

you find -40C a might chilly

the trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer

you attended a formal event in your best clothes your finest jewelry and your sorels

you know the 4 seasons Winter, Still Winter, Not Winter, and almost Winter

you can play road hockey on skates

you can tell the difference between a chipmunk and a squirrel from 300 yards away

shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout

Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

"Vacation" means going to Barrie for the weekend.

You measure distance in hours.

You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

You often switch from "Heat" to "Air Conditioning" in the same day.

You use a down comforter in the summer.

Your grandparents drive at sixty-five miles per hour through thirteen feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both doors unlocked.

You think of the major food groups as deer meat, fish, and berries.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

There are seven empty cars running in the parking lot at the Canadian Tire Store at any given time.

You design your kid's Hallowe'en costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

You think lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.

You know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and construction

It takes you three hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.

Get your Santa letters in early just click on the mailbox

The amount of time until the year 3000.

The amount of time since man landed on the moon.