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Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny.
How do you get a one-armed aggie out of a tree?
Wave to him.
Did you hear that they cancelled dex education
at Texas A&M?
The sheep all ran away!
How do you find Dolly Parton's kids in a crowd?
Just look for the stretch marks on their
lips!
What do a tornado and a Redneck divorce have in
common?
In the end , someone's going to lose a
trailer house.
What do a tornado and a woman have in common?
They both howl when they come and take
the house when they leave.
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce
court. The judge says, "Mr. Mouse let me get
this straight, you want to divorce Minnie
because she"s crazy?" Mickey replies," I
didn't say she was crazy, I said she was
f#@%ing GOOFY"!!
How many flies does it take to screw in a
lightbulb?
Just 2, but they have to find a way to
get inside it.
What does the Pilsbury doughboy have in his
pants?
DOUGHNUTS!
An old woman is sitting beside an old man in
a nursing home. She says,"I bet I can tell
how old you are." He says,"It's a bet."
She reaches down and unzips his pants puts
her hand in and begins to play with his
manhood. "83" she exclaims! "How could you
tell that?" he says.
"it was easy," she says, "I heard you say so
yesterday!!!"
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