The Space Ghost Archive

Spaceghost has recently been resurrected out of his cheesy 1960's children's cartoon in which he battled the evils of the universe now to do part time work as a latenight talkshow host, along with his still bitter enemies Zorak (the giant Mantis and Paul-Schaffer wannabe), Moltar (evil cyborg type person infatuated with the TV show Chips) and Brak (well, not quite sure what he is), and a few others on the side. They are, when brought together, to say the least, a little disturbing, which is what makes for their comedy...

To make use of most of the following files, you may need to download RealMedia. Oh, also, any files here are available to any who wishes to use them.

Space Ghost Moltar and Locar Brak Zorak Everyone!

Space Ghost

  • SG: "Home movie!" Zorak: "Oh, man..." SG: "Wahtch this one, faithful viewers. This is where I kick Zorak's sorry butt real bad. He rued the day he was born that time..." Zorak: [cutting SG off] "You didn't defeat me! I escaped in the final scene!" SG: "Oh, fine, just tell 'em the ending, why don't you?!" (RA)
  • "Throw another kangaroo on the barby... or something." (RA)
  • "Zorak, just remember who has the Orkin man on their speeddial." (RA)
  • [The Spanish Lesson:] SG: "'I wear a pant suit and a cape'" Voice: "Me visto con mayas y capa" (RA)
  • SG: "Let's do some readin'! 'Dear Space Ghost: I really like you, and I like when you zap Zorak. - Luke Case, Katch- Katcheh- Ketchup, Alaska!' Alrighty!" [zooop!] Zorak: "Ahhhh-uhh!" SG: "'Dear Space Ghost: I watch your show all the time! I love it when you zap Zorak! Could you zap him for me?' 'Chris Obermeyer' Okeydokey!" [zeeeoopp!] Zorak: "Ahhh-uhhh!" SG: "Continuing. 'Dear Space Ghost: I think you should zap Zorak billions and trillions of times! Your Pal, Chris Lefel' Incoming!" [zeeeeeoooomp!] Zorak: "Ahhhhhhhhhh-ehhhhuhhhh!" SG: "Yada yada, 'Please shoot Zorak with your power bands!' [zeeeoooopkhhh] Zorak: "Yahhhyahyahyahyah!" SG: "Yada, 'Remember to zap Zorak'" [zeeeeoooommp] Zorak: "Oooayayahowowwow! Wha'd I do to deserve this?" [zeeeooooo] Zorak: "Ahghaha!" Brak: "Boy, it's gettin' hot in here!" SG: "'Dear Space Ghost:' blahbidyblahbidyblah, 'Blast Zorak!'" [zeeeooom] Zorak: "Woohahahaaa!" SG: "And so forth, and so on, 'Blast Zorak,' Okay, hunker down, Harriet!" [chick] SG: "Whoops." Zorak: "Uhh, what's the problem?" SG: "I'm outta juice... no need to worry though! I am off to get recharged!" Zorak: "Well, oh, alright. Take your time!" (RA)
  • "Hey Brak, you're getting very sleepy!" (RA)

    Moltar, Locar, etc.

  • Locar, aka Potentate of Thug Locasts, (aka His Pretensiousness)


  • " I had to write on the blackboard a hundred times 'I will not squirt the teacher's pet'... it took me about two weeks, but it was worth it!" (RA)
  • "One of the many advantages of being cool like me is that you don't get eaten by cannibals." (RA)
  • Brak: "When do I get my day off?" SG: "When monkeys fly out of my... ear." Brak: "... when does the monkey come out of your ear? I don't have all day, you know!" (RA)
  • "Well you know I'm not as dumb as I look! I'm dumber! [laughing] Oh Boy! Uh boy. I'm dumber! [laughing] No! No! Wait! I'm dumber than that! [laughing] Oh boy am I dumb! [laughing] *shew*" (RA)
  • You know every body makes mistakes, even me. I remember this one time (I was at school) and I accidentally went into the girls' bathroom, and this girl yelled "HEYYY! What're you doing in here?!?" An' I said, "Well what are you doing in here?" (RA)
  • Brak: "Does anybody out there have any questions?" [voice]: "Why are you so stupid?" Brak: "Oh, well that's a good question!" (RA)
  • "Why do you always have to be so mean to me?" (RA)
  • "Zorak is a big booger, and Space Ghost's head looks like a hot dog!" Zorak: "Hot dog head!" SG: "Booger!" (RA)
  • "Ohhhhh, I'm a rambling idiot, rambling everywhere, I'm a rambling idiot, in my underwear!" (RA)
  • Brak: "Shutup!" Zorak: "Make me!" Brak: "Make yourself if you feel like it!" Zorak:"What if I don't want to?!" Brak: "Then you don't have to! Have a nice day!" (RA)
  • Brak:"Zorak, did you watch the Simpsons last night?" Zorak: "No, I missed it." Brak: "Was it any good?" Zorak: "I just told you I missed it!"(RA)
  • "I love you, baby! I love the way that you walk! I love you baby! I love the way that you talk! I really like it when you call my name! 'Hey Braky-waky!' Ohhh, I like your sister, I like your Aunt Louise! I like your doggie -- hey I even like his fleas! I really like it when you tickle me [laughing]... stop it! Somebody left the cake out in the rain... Oh NOOOOO! I was gonna eat that cake, but now it's all wet, and I don't think I want any! We could get married -- just the two of us! And you could get a job driving a school bus! I love ya baby -- will you marry me?!? You don't have to decide right away... think it over... who's it gonna hurt... where ya goin'? (RA)
  • Brak: "Heeeyyyyy, everybody!" SG: "Shutup!" Brak: "All I said was 'Heeeyyyy everybody!'" SG "And all I said was 'SHUTUP!'" Brak: "Boy, man, looks like somebody got outta the wrong bed today!" (RA)
  • Brak: "Doo-doo-doo-dooooo-doo... Hey! What're you lookin' at? What th'... Hey! Hi guys! I was just wanted ta... Heeeyyy. What're...Hey! You know the other thing, the other day, that happened... and so that's all over with... Guys? [pause] Hello? Where's it... Hey! Heeeeyyyyy! [incoherent] What're you lookin' at? I don't gehehet it! Oh, you're gonna be that way, huh?! Okay, so, the other day, the down-the-street walkin'... down th'... Will you say something??!?!? Come on! Okay, well you asked for it! I'm gonna sing a song! Um. [singing] Oh! I went down to the store, to get myself some bread! And the other day we... COME ON! I can't [incoherent] not funny! Waahhh, oh boy. Well, I am just gonna stop talkin'. Better believe it! Not gonna talk any more. [pause] Nope. [pause] Nosirree! When I say I'm gonna stop, I'm talkin', I mean it! [pause] You big coupla jerks!" Zorak: [snickers] (RA)
  • "Okay, so I was sitting in this diner, and this man walked up to me and says 'Hey Buddy! I haven't had anythin', I didn't have anything to eat in long time!' So I bit him! [laughing] Ah! ha! I don't know if I told that one right... (RA)


  • "I'm mean enough, I'm evil enough, and, doggonit! people hate me." (RA)
  • SG: "You don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about!" Zorak: "Not a clue!" (RA)
  • SG: "Be quiet, brown-nose!" Zorak: "Hey, I don't have a nose!" (RA)
  • "What can I say? Everybody likes flowers, even us evildoers." (RA)
  • Zorak: "Why are you punishing me this time?" SG: "Because you're evil."
  • "You've been known to wear red lipstick after one too many wine coolers!" (RA)
  • "Roaches are red, / and oh so delicious / I love how they're crunchy / and not too nutritious." (WAV)
  • Zorak: "Space Ghost, can I ask you something?" SG: "Sure!" Zorak: Why are you so stupid?" (RA)
  • Zorak: "Have you seen my tail" SG: "Your what?" Zorak: "My tail! Some joker cut it off!" SG: "You don't have a tail!" Zorak: "I know! Because some joker cut it off!" SG: "Calm down, Zorak!" Zorak: "You calm down! Did you eat it?" SG: "Why would I eat your stupid tail?!? I didn't even know you had one." Zorak: "Moltar?!" Moltar: "I didn't eat it. I don't even like tail." Zorak: "Oh wait. Here it is. [pause] It's not a tail afterall!" SG: "Play me to the desk!" Zorak: "It's a wacky fun slippery slide!" [beach music starts up] Moltar and Zorak: "Whohoa! Whee!" Moltar: "Hey check this out!" SG: "All right. Put the wacky fun slippery slide away!" Zorak: "Weehee!" [pause] Moltar: "Ow! My knee!" (WAV)
  • Brak destroys Space Ghost, part 1: Zorak: "Okay, Brak, repeat after me: 'Space Ghost,'" Brak: "Space Ghooost!" Zorak: "I will destroy you!" Brak: "I will destroy you... if you don't mind?" Zorak: "I will destroy you!" Brak: "Ohhh, I'm sorry, wait, I'll get it: I will destroy yooooo...." Zorak: "I will destroy you!!" Brak: "All right! [to SG] I will destroy you!" (RA)
  • Brak destroys Space Ghost, part 2: Brak: "I will destroy you!" Zorak: "You, and your little dog, too!" Brak: "You, and your li'l daaaawwg... Hey! I like his dog! Francine is a good puppy!" Zorak: "No... that was just a threat." Brak: "You wanna hurt Francine! You're a big, bad, green... um... thingy... guy!" SG: "Bug." Brak: "Bug!" (RA)
  • "Umm... am I supposed ta... have a line here?" (WAV)
  • Zorak: "'...if it looks like a duck, and smells like a duck, it must be a chicken.' I didn't know what in blazes he was talking about, so I asked him to explain. 'Think of it this way,' he said, 'It is a wise mantis that always leaves the the house in clean underwear, in case he gets run over by a hydrotanker.' It was then that I knew that Gandorf had lost his mind [thunder], so I bid him farewell and left to pursue my criminal career! -- a career that, given my present circumstances, has hit rock bottom. I guess you could say that Gandorf, the Mad Grinder, made me what I am today." SG: "A three-time loser!" Zorak: "Egg-zactly!" SG: "Never learned how to use the Force, eh?" Zorak: "I just couldn't get the hang of it. (RA)

    The Looneybin that is Ghost Planet

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