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"Industrial music: Recreate by sellotaping two jamjars full of bees to
the sides of your head, then kick a dustbin full of hammers down the stairs."


"i see Planet Per .. floating somewhere near Uranus" - Jason Prime


"'Industrial Proposal'
GHELL 666: I'll give you a million dollars for one night with your Reznor.
Per: I dunno, he's a pretty good lay... well, alright!
Trent: Whoo-hoo!
GHELL 666: Remember, though...this doesn't mean I'm gay...
- n.scott kozyra


"Does your glue guns come with air compressor hookup for some ranged damage, since ours certainly do not? That would be wild though... the ability to shoot a jet of hot, sticky goo with just a squeeze of a trigger... HEY! I... eh.. I.. Ehh... Just forget that you read this, okay?
Too late, I'm already making the modifications.....*wicked laughter*"
- Maniak


"I ate one of those freeze-dried ice cream bars in one sitting one time. After finishing it, I read that the bar is equal to a whole gallon or so of ice cream. A few minutes later, as the ice cream expanded in my stomach, I started to feel real sick. It was not a pleasant experience."
- Per


"LOL!
Maybe not a pleasant experience for you but definitely a hilarious story for me! You give a new meaning to the term Lactose Intolerant.
Squirt... squirt... squirt..."
- Hex


"I think people should stop killing in the name of God, and START killing in the name of Scott Baio." - GodboY


"I hate pretention...which is why I am better than most people." - Erek


"I hate hypocrites they can all suck my dick pretentious mother fuckers thinking they are cooler than everyone. I am above that...that is why I am better." - Erek


"I'm still disheartened that I didn't get a t-shirt that says 'Give me a handjob, I'm a fill-in/guest DJ.'" - Dayv!


"Louis Free: 'What do you think?'
Janet Reno: 'Sound like treason to me'
Louis Free: 'Prolly a commie, pinko, bedwetting fag!'
Janet Reno: 'What is wrong with men who and act like women?'
Louis Free: 'Ah..oh.. nothing boss...I will get started on the A23 wire
tapes...right away..'" - Rev Ammonia D


"I'm so industrial, I can 'read' a CD just by holding it up to a light and examining the tiny holes in the metal. I have no need for your silly 'sound system.'" - Dayv!


"Blarghf... I'd be intrigued to buy the recordings of Charless Manson, to hear what kind of stuff he's putting out. Oh, didja heer that his quitar was broken in a prison riot, but unrelentless as he is, he said that he was starting an accapella choir with the voices in his head...." - Shutdown


"They will not tour here or there
They will not tour anywhere
They will eat green eggs and ham
They will not eat them, Bitch I am!" - GodboY


"To do list v2.0
1. Do laundry.
2. Go grocery shopping.
3. Go to Toronto, mug DJ Todd, raid bank account.
4. Call Mom.
5. Go to Dallas, beat the shit out of Per.
6. Call the bank about a loan.
7. Bitch." - Dayv!


"you missed the scrubby, unwashed, masses of rmi bowing before me and accepting me as their one true god. you missed dayv get a *botched* sex change operation. mr. tangent admitted his love for the pogues. voltaire was *punished* by a dress wearing scott sturgis (don't ask). greg clow admitted, after all these years, that ministry's _psalm 69_ is the beginning, and end, of industrial music. per settled the issues he's had with *that* pervert in the park he met, when he was six. adam kuhn was on springer. FLAvius finally broke down, and admitted that wilhelm schroeder can't lick the dirt off of either kirk or mal's bony, white, english feet. raoul, in his quest to get naked models on the cover of the next noisex album gained access to cindy crawford's home...only to be dragged away, kicking and screaming, in handcuffs, telling the officers that he was 'invited...honest.' tommy t sued most of rmi for slander. lastly, there was a mass love in, set to the tune of the latest velvet acid christ album. that's it, really." - downfall


"I am the masterbator
with my pocketvibrator" - Per

"Pressing down on her special key
I insert directly into Melody." - * eye bones *


"me well...I guess I could qualify..me being a shorter, wider, fatter, balder version of danny devito." - Tape Me Up


"i'm like diarreah..so i guess that make's me one of those 'irregulars'" - Michael Roehr [roehrATmediaoneDOTnet]


"F.Y.I., during his tour with Gwar, Per was the guy
responsible for filling the 'fake' penises." - Jason Prime


"No wonder he looks so tired in those pictures." - Dayv!


"Now now...it's not the fishes' fault...ever since we taught women how to swim the fish have never smelled the same." - ~tape [tapemeupATaolDOTcom]


"Oh well. I guess im an idiot." - Jason Troy [nosajyortATseatacDOTnet]


"On the dishes in my sink is some food approaching demi-god level of evolution, you can be sure i'm fucking pissed. I'll never catch up....." - Piers Sutton ["micromuATbest.com"ATvip.best.com]


"I'm such a bitch." - Jason Prime [primelelATtelenetDOTnet]


"Damn you, Per. Damn you." - Jason Prime


"a semi-related dilemma: i've been told by women that i look exactly like one of the backstreet boys--does that mean i look attractive or like a homosexual?" - dr. industrial


"Either way, you should be getting the women, since everyone knows women always fall for the homosexual guys. I swear if I was an asshole and gay, I would be getting laid all the time." - Brian [bpo87164ATpegasusDOTccDOTucfDOTedu]


"I emailed djfuckinhoes, H. West, and Billy Harrigan and they're giving me pointers on how to take you down, bitch." - Jason Prime [primelelATtelenetDOTnet]


"Per is a bitch." -Dayv! [killyouatmiserydotcom]


"My guess is personal experience. I recently read an expose of fans of industrial music. I think it was in People magazine. They claimed that 1 out of 5 industrial fans experiments with singing by recording their voice with various objects up their asses. Dicks (both big and small), old Syquest drives, hewlett packard calculators, star wars action figures, and dog chew toys are the most common items used. Apparently individuals record their vocal performances with the different items up their asses and then compare the soundwaves to look for patterns in the differences between performances. I think this behavior is linked to some type of apocalyptic cult involving barbie dolls, marilyn manson, and Bob Saget. Scientific American plans to run a more in-depth article on the phenomenon in an upcoming issue." - ralphus [barnes.183.@OMIT.THIS.osu.edu]


"Believe me, seeing my bare ass would give you more of a complex. And for the record, my ass is about as hairy as my head. The Rev. seems to have confused me with his mexican houseboy, Jorge." - Tom Shear


"Goddammit Jorge! My Rogain is not your personal lube!!Stay the fuck out of it!"
-Rev Ammonia D


"Yup. Except they re-ran it tonight at 6:30... I caught the bit of the guy fellating the cow udder. Mark my word, kids, this guy is going to be the next Springer... teen suicides, world poverty, and my own hairy ass will all be blamed on this guy... and he will make millions off it...

In keeping with this theme, I have filmed a pilot for my own series which I call 'Poop'. Each episode will feature a different pile of fecal matter interspliced with footage of special guests getting kicked in the groin by a donkey (Per, Dayv, and the Rev have signed on for the first season... DJ Todd is disputing the contract demanding a platter of cold cuts in his trailer), and bits of my best-selling home video of me and the one-armed old lady getting it on in the toll booth. Imitators be warned.. I have a patent.. I HAVE A PATEEEEEEENNNNT!" - Tom Shear


"i know what you meant...i just felt like giving you a hard time. i'm a prick, like that...." - downfall


Also, I will be giving a live performance example of a boombastic jazz sound...right when I'm done with this bowl of beans and cheese..." - ~tape


"I think VAC and any of Vac's CDs cause the greatest reaction. I have never seen so many monkeys jump up and down about how much they hate something." - Disease Factory


There is this lightswitch in my room. It does not turn anything 'on' or 'off.' Trust me, I've tried. About a month ago, I tried to figure out what this switch turned on and off. I checked all the electrical outlets and everything by plugging in a lamp. The lightswitch did not turn the lamp on or off.
Then, the other day, I got this letter from Satan himself that said 'Cut it out!' - Per

    \o/      \o        \o/        o/         o           o
     |  ->    |\  ->    |    ->   \    ->    \\    ->    X
   _/_\     _/ \_      /_\_     _/ \_       /_\_       _/ \_

                                                - L. Sheldahl


 acceptable and fully sanctioned industrial dance moves are:

.o     _o   ,o     _o     o,    o
`(,   ',(   `|\   ',(    /0'   /(     o^
 4'    < \  / >    < \   / >   < \   '< \

 "you can also mosh to recon and aggro stuffs
 "grab the cyber bat" hand motions during electro goth stuffs
 pogo mosh during coldwave stuffs
 or do the "stationary driving the motorcycle" thing like the krauts do."  

 www.industrialschoolofdance.com - Wayn R


"well,it is really a "hush hush" kind of topic..but most industrialist  
elitists are incontinent due to excessive sitting due to 
rmi,computer,online porn and burning CDRs all day and night.The 
music Mailorder outfit Insolation Tank will soon be addressing this 
problem by offering the following product.  

           Looking for more absorbancy?

     The Industrial Strength EuroPad has a 53.3 Oz. absorbing
     capacity and lasts 6-8 hours.So just throw it on before you go to
     the weekly industrial dance night and stomp away in style!

     The inside waterproof leg cuffs provide an
     unprecedented leakage and odor control.Let's leave those offensive
     odor duties to the Gothics and thier clove cigarettes.
     The concentration of 3 more layers at the
     urination area provide a dry sensation and
     allow time of use of 6-8hr.

     The wetness indicator LED lets you know when
     the pad needs to be changend. The Elektro
     EuroPads' features are the solution to the
     average incontinence of any elektro head!

     This product comes in a case of 80 pads.


                              Price: $54.60 (import item)

     style 0034 comes with Zoth Ommog label logo in black
     style 0035 comes with :W: logo in Red


No need to be ashamed of your recent spats of "uncontrolled
leakages".Now you can unabashedly listen to your esoteric and high
priced import releases in complete confidence and not have to worry
about missing that synth riff or really cool ass sample.

                           Coming Soon!
                  MediPrime and ETD Records presents:
       Fun With Diapers- ltd vinyl adult diaper edition ( 500 pcs)

                    www.mediprime.com/VAC/fwd.html
    WR


np vac 'fun with drugs'"  - Wayn R




Disease Factory gave us these words in rec.music.industrial:

"Shit. you would probabally be the first one bitching if you lived in a socialistic system. Ohhh, were is my running hot water. You mean i have to stand in line for 3 days for toilet paper? What? You mean i have to shower with other people? Privacy, whats that? TELEPHONE?

Save us the :you are a slave and are exploited and have it so hard speech. Obviously you read one to many anarchist or communist news rags. At least we get to see cool movies, travel, and read and say what we want without big brother coming and locking us away. Yeah yeah sure some of the ruling class sucks, but at least they let us have luxuries ya know. I demand that you know bend over backwards and WORSHIP CAPITALISM. BECAUSE MY GREAT GRANDFATHER OWNED PEPSI. AND HE BAILS ME OUT OF JAIL EVERYTIME I GET CAUGHT FUCKING A SHEEP. NOT TO MENTION CUTTING MY FORELIMBS IN KNIFE STORES. PLEASE TIE ME UP AND FORCE MEAT BI PRODUCE DOWN MY THROAT AND MAKE ME VOMIT TILL EVERYTIME I THINK OF YOU I GET SICK AND REACH FOR MY GUN TO PUT MYSELF OUT OF MY MYSERY FOR EVEN THINKING OF YOUR FACE/NAME. BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T STOP ME SOON I WILL PISS AND SHIT ALL OVER MY MONITOR AND YELL OBSCENITIES UNTILL THEY LOCK ME AWAY FOR GOOD. I HAVE SMALL PENIS AND NO ONE WILL FUCK ME. I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD PLEASE SHOW ME HOW TO GET LAID AND THINGS. MY MOTHER ABANDONED ME WHEN I WAS 3, I GREW UP BEING MOLESTED BY POLITITIONS AND CHURCH GOERS! I HAD A 3RD ARM SURGICALLY ATTACHED TO MY SIDE SO I COULD HAVE ONE HAND MASTURBATING ALL THE TIME. EVEN DOCTORS WILL NOT GIVE ME CHECK UPS BECAUSE OF THE MAGGOTS THAT GROW IN MY FOUL MOUTH. I TRIED TO DOWNLOAD AN MPEG OF TRACI LORDS SO I COULD JERK IT, BUT MY COCK FELL OFF IN MY HANDS BECAUSE OF MY HORRID CASE OF LEAPROCY! PLEASE STOP LICKING THE INSIDE OF MY BOWELS, BECAUSE YOU MAKE ME HAVE AN ERRECTION EVERYTIME IT HAPPENS. PLEASE BLOW MY FATHERS HEAD OFF AND TAKE THE BITS MICROWAVE IT AND FEED IT TO SOME STREET DOGS. I AM NOT WORTHY TO POST ON THE SAME NEWS GROUP AS YOU ARE. SHUN THE LIFE THAT CONSUMES MY BODY AND SUCK MY MELTING PUSS THROUGH A STRAW. DOES IT MAKE YOU HAPPY TO KNOW THAT I AM THE MOST MALFORMED RETARDED DO NOTHING TALENTLESS GIMP TO EVER WALK ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH. I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT TIME AND SPACE ARE JUST PART OF MY RECTUM AND EVERYTIME I FART IT SMELLS LIKE YOUR HOUSE. I BET MONSTERS FROM DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS COULD NEVER PRY THE SOAR LUMPS OF CUT OFF BABY DOG GENITALS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AFTER YOU GET DONE KISSING THE LEFT WINGS ASS. AND IN THE VERY MIDDLE OF YOUR HEAD, LIES A TINY PEICE OF METAL THAT RADIATED THE REST OF YOUR BRAIN INTO MUD. HOW BOUT YOU MAKE YOUR WEB PAGE ACTUALLY WORK. HOW ABOUT YOU JUST IGNORE THE BAD BREATH I HAVE AND STICK LIT INSCENES IN MY MOUTH. SO EVERYTIME I THINK OF HIPPIES I WILL BE REMINDED OF THE TOOTHLESS HEAP OF FEICIES THAT YOU ARE. I AM ON YOUR LEVEL MAN, I HAVE SUFFERED AND HAVE EVERY GOD GIVING RIGHT TO POST THESE THIGNS TO YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR GRANDMOTHER AND BEG AND PLEAD FOR THEM TO TAKE ME INTO THEIR ARMS AND HOLD MY PATHETIC SHRIVVELED UP BODY AND HAVE THEM READ ME BEDTIME STORIES. BETTER YET, I SHIT IN A BAG AND SENT IT TO YOUR FATHER AND HE LOVED EATING IT. JUST SHOOT IT AND PUT IT OUT OF IT'S MISERY! YOU ARE SO HARD CORE THAT I AM JEALOUS!

CAN I BE LIKE YOU?

DOMINATION, DID YOU SAY DOMINATION? SPANK ME DADDY.

I THINK I WILL TAKE A XANAX AND WATCH BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD NOW.

BUT I WILL CONTINUE TO BE COOL LIKE YOU. BECAUSE MICHY, I WORSHIP THE SLIME THAT YOUR BODY LEAKS. AND TRUST ME SOME DAY, I WILL HAVE YOU, WE WILL GET MARRIED AND I WILL MAKE YOU TAKE BACK ALL THOSE AWEFUL THINGS YOU SAID, AND IWILL SAY SORRY AGAIN FOR THE 10 THOUSANDTH TIME."



Eye wrote:

This might help you. This is from the The American Heritage« Dictionary.

Usenet (yooz-nŔt) noun

1. A large network of public world wide bulletin boards primarily set up as a dumping ground for bitter romantic experiences, bitter definitions of Love, God or genitals, whimsical musing about how Tom Shear would look nude and stupid polls.

2. An electrical fabric (i.e., network), especially designed for jokes about fecal matter, pyramid schemes, endless cascading threads that begin when one participant uses the word "fuckhead", heated opinioned, illogical, highly emotional, childish recriminations and ad hominem rants that usually balance on slander, pandering or pimping.

3. A great place to pick up chicks or dudes posing like 15 year old chicks (See AOL Chat rooms).

4. A meshed network of teabagging and bacon references.

Excerpted from The American Heritage« Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition ę 1996 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Electronic version licensed from INSO Corporation; further reproduction and distribution in accordance with the Copyright Law of the United States. All rights reserved.


=====BILLY=========================

I AM THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE TROLL KING!
I HEREBY DECLARE WAR ON R.M.I.
THIS NEWSGROUP IS NOW IN A STATE OF WAR!
I SHALL TAKE NO PRISONERS!
ALL WILL PERISH IN THE WAKE OF THE MASTER OF CONFUSION!
THE REIGN OF SILENCE AND DISINFORMATION  HAS ENDED!
ONLY THE TRUTH WILL FOLLOW
JOIN ME NOW
OR BE LAID TO WASTE!
SMUTTY BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ONE YOU SERVE!
THE ONLY RECORDS YOU WILL SPIN WILL BE IN THE PRIVATE HELL I HAVE CREATED FOR
YOU....


        ░▒░    BILLY HARRIGAN      ░▒▓░
        ░▒▓▒░    THE TROLL KING      ░▒██▓▒░
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            ░▒▓░ █ I I I I I █ ░▓▒░
        ░▒▓██▓▒░  ▄ I I I I I ▄  ░▒▓░ ░▒░
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            ░▒░                  ░▓░

          nervusrex@geocities.com
          http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Alley/5028

          YOU CAN RUN SMUTTY BUT YOU CANT HIDE!

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