.----. .--------. |__|
| _|_| |__| |__
"Industrial music: Recreate by sellotaping two jamjars full of bees to
the sides of your head, then kick a dustbin full of hammers down the stairs."
"i see Planet Per .. floating somewhere near Uranus" - Jason Prime
GHELL 666: I'll give you a million dollars for one night with your
Per: I dunno, he's a pretty good lay... well, alright!
GHELL 666: Remember, though...this doesn't mean I'm gay...
- n.scott kozyra
"Does your glue guns come with air compressor hookup for some ranged
damage, since ours certainly do not? That would be wild though... the
ability to shoot a jet of hot, sticky goo with just a squeeze of a
trigger... HEY! I... eh.. I.. Ehh... Just forget that you read this,
Too late, I'm already making the modifications.....*wicked laughter*"
"I ate one of those freeze-dried ice cream bars in one sitting one time.
After finishing it, I read that the bar is equal to a whole gallon or so of
ice cream. A few minutes later, as the ice cream expanded in my stomach, I
started to feel real sick. It was not a pleasant experience."
Maybe not a pleasant experience for you but definitely a hilarious story for
me! You give a new meaning to the term Lactose Intolerant.
Squirt... squirt... squirt..."
"I think people should stop killing in the name of God, and START killing
in the name of Scott Baio." - GodboY
"I hate pretention...which is why I am better than most people."
"I hate hypocrites they can all suck my dick pretentious mother fuckers
thinking they are cooler than everyone. I am above that...that is why I am
better." - Erek
"I'm still disheartened that I didn't get a t-shirt that says 'Give
me a handjob, I'm a fill-in/guest DJ.'" - Dayv!
"Louis Free: 'What do you think?'
Janet Reno: 'Sound like treason to me'
Louis Free: 'Prolly a commie, pinko, bedwetting fag!'
Janet Reno: 'What is wrong with men who and act like women?'
Louis Free: 'Ah..oh.. nothing boss...I will get started on the A23 wire
tapes...right away..'" - Rev Ammonia D
"I'm so industrial, I can 'read' a CD just by
holding it up to a light and examining the tiny
holes in the metal. I have no need for your silly
'sound system.'" - Dayv!
"Blarghf... I'd be intrigued to buy the recordings
of Charless Manson, to hear what kind of stuff he's
putting out. Oh, didja heer that his quitar was broken
in a prison riot, but unrelentless as he is, he said
that he was starting an accapella choir with the
voices in his head...." - Shutdown
"They will not tour here or there
They will not tour anywhere
They will eat green eggs and ham
They will not eat them, Bitch I am!" - GodboY
"To do list v2.0
1. Do laundry.
2. Go grocery shopping.
3. Go to Toronto, mug DJ Todd, raid bank account.
4. Call Mom.
5. Go to Dallas, beat the shit out of Per.
6. Call the bank about a loan.
7. Bitch." - Dayv!
"you missed the scrubby, unwashed, masses of rmi bowing before me and
accepting me as their one true god. you missed dayv get a *botched* sex
change operation. mr. tangent admitted his love for the pogues. voltaire
was *punished* by a dress wearing scott sturgis (don't ask). greg clow
admitted, after all these years, that ministry's _psalm 69_ is the beginning,
and end, of industrial music. per settled the issues he's had with *that*
pervert in the park he met, when he was six. adam kuhn was on springer.
FLAvius finally broke down, and admitted that wilhelm schroeder can't lick
the dirt off of either kirk or mal's bony, white, english feet. raoul, in
his quest to get naked models on the cover of the next noisex album gained
access to cindy crawford's home...only to be dragged away, kicking and
screaming, in handcuffs, telling the officers that he was 'invited...honest.'
tommy t sued most of rmi for slander. lastly, there was a mass love in, set
to the tune of the latest velvet acid christ album. that's it, really."
"I am the masterbator
with my pocketvibrator" - Per
"Pressing down on her special key
I insert directly into Melody." - * eye bones *
"me well...I guess I could qualify..me being a
shorter, wider, fatter, balder
version of danny devito." - Tape Me Up
"i'm like diarreah..so i guess that make's me one
of those 'irregulars'" - Michael Roehr
"F.Y.I., during his tour with Gwar,
Per was the guy
responsible for filling the
'fake' penises." - Jason Prime
"No wonder he looks so tired in those pictures." - Dayv!
"Now now...it's not the fishes' fault...ever since
we taught women how to swim the fish have never
smelled the same." - ~tape [tapemeupATaolDOTcom]
"Oh well. I guess im an idiot." - Jason Troy [nosajyortATseatacDOTnet]
"On the dishes in my sink is some food approaching
demi-god level of evolution, you can be sure i'm
fucking pissed. I'll never catch up....."
- Piers Sutton ["micromuATbest.com"ATvip.best.com]
"I'm such a bitch." - Jason Prime [primelelATtelenetDOTnet]
"Damn you, Per. Damn you." - Jason Prime
"a semi-related dilemma: i've been told by women
that i look exactly like one of the backstreet
boys--does that mean i look attractive or like a
homosexual?" - dr. industrial
"Either way, you should be getting the women, since everyone knows women always fall for the homosexual guys. I swear if I was an asshole and gay, I would be
getting laid all the time." - Brian [bpo87164ATpegasusDOTccDOTucfDOTedu]
"I emailed djfuckinhoes, H. West, and Billy Harrigan and they're giving
me pointers on how to take you down, bitch." - Jason Prime [primelelATtelenetDOTnet]
"Per is a bitch." -Dayv! [killyouatmiserydotcom]
"My guess is personal experience. I recently
read an expose of fans of industrial music. I
think it was in People magazine. They claimed that
1 out of 5 industrial fans experiments with singing
by recording their voice with various objects up
their asses. Dicks (both big and small), old Syquest
drives, hewlett packard calculators, star wars action
figures, and dog chew toys are the most common
items used. Apparently individuals record their
vocal performances with the different items up their
asses and then compare the soundwaves to look for
patterns in the differences between performances.
I think this behavior is linked to some type of
apocalyptic cult involving barbie dolls, marilyn
manson, and Bob Saget. Scientific American plans to run a more in-depth
article on the phenomenon in an upcoming issue."
- ralphus [barnes.183.@OMIT.THIS.osu.edu]
"Believe me, seeing my bare ass would give you more of a complex. And for the
record, my ass is about as hairy as my head. The Rev. seems to have confused
me with his mexican houseboy, Jorge." - Tom Shear
"Goddammit Jorge! My Rogain is not your personal lube!!Stay the fuck out of it!"
-Rev Ammonia D
"Yup. Except they re-ran it tonight at 6:30... I caught the bit of the guy
fellating the cow udder. Mark my word, kids, this guy is going to be the next
Springer... teen suicides, world poverty, and my own hairy ass will all be
blamed on this guy... and he will make millions off it...
In keeping with this theme, I have filmed a pilot for my own series which I
call 'Poop'. Each episode will feature a different pile of fecal matter
interspliced with footage of special guests getting kicked in the groin by a
donkey (Per, Dayv, and the Rev have signed on for the first season... DJ Todd
is disputing the contract demanding a platter of cold cuts in his trailer), and
bits of my best-selling home video of me and the one-armed old lady getting it
on in the toll booth. Imitators be warned.. I have a patent.. I HAVE A
PATEEEEEEENNNNT!" - Tom Shear
"i know what you meant...i just felt like giving you a hard time. i'm a
prick, like that...." - downfall
Also, I will be giving a live performance example of a boombastic jazz
sound...right when I'm done with this bowl of beans and cheese..." - ~tape
"I think VAC and any of Vac's CDs cause the greatest reaction. I have
never seen so many monkeys jump up and down about how much they hate
something." - Disease Factory
There is this lightswitch in my room. It does
not turn anything 'on' or 'off.' Trust me,
I've tried. About a month ago, I tried to figure
out what this switch turned on and off. I checked
all the electrical outlets and everything by
plugging in a lamp. The lightswitch did not
turn the lamp on or off.
Then, the other day, I got this letter from
Satan himself that said 'Cut it out!' - Per
\o/ \o \o/ o/ o o
| -> |\ -> | -> \ -> \\ -> X
_/_\ _/ \_ /_\_ _/ \_ /_\_ _/ \_
- L. Sheldahl
acceptable and fully sanctioned industrial dance moves are:
.o _o ,o _o o, o
`(, ',( `|\ ',( /0' /( o^
4' < \ / > < \ / > < \ '< \
"you can also mosh to recon and aggro stuffs
"grab the cyber bat" hand motions during electro goth stuffs
pogo mosh during coldwave stuffs
or do the "stationary driving the motorcycle" thing like the krauts do."
www.industrialschoolofdance.com - Wayn R
"well,it is really a "hush hush" kind of topic..but most industrialist
elitists are incontinent due to excessive sitting due to
rmi,computer,online porn and burning CDRs all day and night.The
music Mailorder outfit Insolation Tank will soon be addressing this
problem by offering the following product.
Looking for more absorbancy?
The Industrial Strength EuroPad has a 53.3 Oz. absorbing
capacity and lasts 6-8 hours.So just throw it on before you go to
the weekly industrial dance night and stomp away in style!
The inside waterproof leg cuffs provide an
unprecedented leakage and odor control.Let's leave those offensive
odor duties to the Gothics and thier clove cigarettes.
The concentration of 3 more layers at the
urination area provide a dry sensation and
allow time of use of 6-8hr.
The wetness indicator LED lets you know when
the pad needs to be changend. The Elektro
EuroPads' features are the solution to the
average incontinence of any elektro head!
This product comes in a case of 80 pads.
Price: $54.60 (import item)
style 0034 comes with Zoth Ommog label logo in black
style 0035 comes with :W: logo in Red
No need to be ashamed of your recent spats of "uncontrolled
leakages".Now you can unabashedly listen to your esoteric and high
priced import releases in complete confidence and not have to worry
about missing that synth riff or really cool ass sample.
MediPrime and ETD Records presents:
Fun With Diapers- ltd vinyl adult diaper edition ( 500 pcs)
np vac 'fun with drugs'" - Wayn R
Disease Factory gave us these words in rec.music.industrial:
"Shit. you would probabally be the first one bitching if you lived in a
socialistic system. Ohhh, were is my running hot water. You mean i
have to stand in line for 3 days for toilet paper? What? You mean i
have to shower with other people? Privacy, whats that? TELEPHONE?
Save us the :you are a slave and are exploited and have it so hard
speech. Obviously you read one to many anarchist or communist news
rags. At least we get to see cool movies, travel, and read and say
what we want without big brother coming and locking us away. Yeah yeah
sure some of the ruling class sucks, but at least they let us have
luxuries ya know. I demand that you know bend over backwards and
WORSHIP CAPITALISM. BECAUSE MY GREAT GRANDFATHER OWNED PEPSI. AND HE
BAILS ME OUT OF JAIL EVERYTIME I GET CAUGHT FUCKING A SHEEP. NOT TO
MENTION CUTTING MY FORELIMBS IN KNIFE STORES. PLEASE TIE ME UP AND
FORCE MEAT BI PRODUCE DOWN MY THROAT AND MAKE ME VOMIT TILL EVERYTIME
I THINK OF YOU I GET SICK AND REACH FOR MY GUN TO PUT MYSELF OUT OF MY
MYSERY FOR EVEN THINKING OF YOUR FACE/NAME. BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T STOP
ME SOON I WILL PISS AND SHIT ALL OVER MY MONITOR AND YELL OBSCENITIES
UNTILL THEY LOCK ME AWAY FOR GOOD. I HAVE SMALL PENIS AND NO ONE WILL
FUCK ME. I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD PLEASE SHOW ME HOW TO GET LAID
AND THINGS. MY MOTHER ABANDONED ME WHEN I WAS 3, I GREW UP BEING
MOLESTED BY POLITITIONS AND CHURCH GOERS! I HAD A 3RD ARM SURGICALLY
ATTACHED TO MY SIDE SO I COULD HAVE ONE HAND MASTURBATING ALL THE
TIME. EVEN DOCTORS WILL NOT GIVE ME CHECK UPS BECAUSE OF THE MAGGOTS
THAT GROW IN MY FOUL MOUTH. I TRIED TO DOWNLOAD AN MPEG OF TRACI LORDS
SO I COULD JERK IT, BUT MY COCK FELL OFF IN MY HANDS BECAUSE OF MY
HORRID CASE OF LEAPROCY! PLEASE STOP LICKING THE INSIDE OF MY BOWELS,
BECAUSE YOU MAKE ME HAVE AN ERRECTION EVERYTIME IT HAPPENS. PLEASE
BLOW MY FATHERS HEAD OFF AND TAKE THE BITS MICROWAVE IT AND FEED IT TO
SOME STREET DOGS. I AM NOT WORTHY TO POST ON THE SAME NEWS GROUP AS
YOU ARE. SHUN THE LIFE THAT CONSUMES MY BODY AND SUCK MY MELTING PUSS
THROUGH A STRAW. DOES IT MAKE YOU HAPPY TO KNOW THAT I AM THE MOST
MALFORMED RETARDED DO NOTHING TALENTLESS GIMP TO EVER WALK ON THE FACE
OF THE EARTH. I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT TIME AND SPACE ARE JUST PART OF MY
RECTUM AND EVERYTIME I FART IT SMELLS LIKE YOUR HOUSE. I BET MONSTERS
FROM DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS COULD NEVER PRY THE SOAR LUMPS OF CUT OFF
BABY DOG GENITALS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AFTER YOU GET DONE KISSING THE
LEFT WINGS ASS. AND IN THE VERY MIDDLE OF YOUR HEAD, LIES A TINY PEICE
OF METAL THAT RADIATED THE REST OF YOUR BRAIN INTO MUD. HOW BOUT YOU
MAKE YOUR WEB PAGE ACTUALLY WORK. HOW ABOUT YOU JUST IGNORE THE BAD
BREATH I HAVE AND STICK LIT INSCENES IN MY MOUTH. SO EVERYTIME I THINK
OF HIPPIES I WILL BE REMINDED OF THE TOOTHLESS HEAP OF FEICIES THAT
YOU ARE. I AM ON YOUR LEVEL MAN, I HAVE SUFFERED AND HAVE EVERY GOD
GIVING RIGHT TO POST THESE THIGNS TO YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR GRANDMOTHER
AND BEG AND PLEAD FOR THEM TO TAKE ME INTO THEIR ARMS AND HOLD MY
PATHETIC SHRIVVELED UP BODY AND HAVE THEM READ ME BEDTIME STORIES.
BETTER YET, I SHIT IN A BAG AND SENT IT TO YOUR FATHER AND HE LOVED
EATING IT. JUST SHOOT IT AND PUT IT OUT OF IT'S MISERY!
YOU ARE SO HARD CORE THAT I AM JEALOUS!
CAN I BE LIKE YOU?
DOMINATION, DID YOU SAY DOMINATION? SPANK ME DADDY.
I THINK I WILL TAKE A XANAX AND WATCH BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD NOW.
BUT I WILL CONTINUE TO BE COOL LIKE YOU. BECAUSE MICHY, I WORSHIP THE
SLIME THAT YOUR BODY LEAKS. AND TRUST ME SOME DAY, I WILL HAVE YOU, WE
WILL GET MARRIED AND I WILL MAKE YOU TAKE BACK ALL THOSE AWEFUL THINGS
YOU SAID, AND IWILL SAY SORRY AGAIN FOR THE 10 THOUSANDTH TIME."
This might help you. This is from the The American
Usenet (yooz-nŔt) noun
1. A large network of public world wide bulletin
boards primarily set up as a dumping ground for
bitter romantic experiences, bitter definitions
of Love, God or genitals, whimsical musing about
how Tom Shear would look nude and stupid polls.
2. An electrical fabric (i.e., network), especially designed for jokes about
fecal matter, pyramid schemes, endless cascading threads that begin when one
participant uses the word "fuckhead", heated opinioned, illogical, highly
emotional, childish recriminations and ad hominem rants that usually balance on
slander, pandering or pimping.
3. A great place to pick up chicks or dudes posing like 15 year old chicks (See
AOL Chat rooms).
4. A meshed network of teabagging and bacon references.
Excerpted from The American Heritage« Dictionary of the English Language, Third
Edition ę 1996 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Electronic version licensed from
INSO Corporation; further reproduction and distribution in accordance with the
Copyright Law of the United States. All rights reserved.
I AM THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE TROLL KING!
I HEREBY DECLARE WAR ON R.M.I.
THIS NEWSGROUP IS NOW IN A STATE OF WAR!
I SHALL TAKE NO PRISONERS!
ALL WILL PERISH IN THE WAKE OF THE MASTER OF CONFUSION!
THE REIGN OF SILENCE AND DISINFORMATION HAS ENDED!
ONLY THE TRUTH WILL FOLLOW
JOIN ME NOW
OR BE LAID TO WASTE!
SMUTTY BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ONE YOU SERVE!
THE ONLY RECORDS YOU WILL SPIN WILL BE IN THE PRIVATE HELL I HAVE CREATED FOR
░▒░ BILLY HARRIGAN ░▒▓░
░▒▓▒░ THE TROLL KING ░▒██▓▒░
░▒▓████▓░ ░▒▓██████████▓▒▒░ ░▒▓███▒░
░▓░ ░▓▒░ ░▒▓████████████████▓▒░ ░▓▒░
░▒ ░▒▓██████████████████▓▒░ ░▒
░▒▒█ ████ █▒░
████ . █▓▓█ . ████
█░▒█ █▓▓█ █▒░█
░░▒▓████░ ▓▓ ░███▓▒░░
░▒ ░▒▓█████████▓▒░ ░▓
░▒▓░ █ I I I I I █ ░▓▒░
░▒▓██▓▒░ ▄ I I I I I ▄ ░▒▓░ ░▒░
░▒▓███▓▒░ ░▒▓█████▓▒░ ░▒▓█▓▒░
░▒▓▓█▒░ ░▒▓███▓▒░ ░▒▓▓▒░
YOU CAN RUN SMUTTY BUT YOU CANT HIDE!
▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀
▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀
▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀
▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀
▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀
▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀
▀▀ ▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀▀▀
B A C K