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POETRY...


Intro to "The Truth" by: Caedmon's Call


Potential Tears

This is my most recent poem. It just has to do with not reaching out as a Christian should. We worry that we might offend people, even our friends, if we talk about the life Christ would want us all to live, so we keep ourselves closed in that area. We mess up, they mess up, and we can make a difference if we will just take a stand. This poem is the night that I realized this....again...

My mind cries tears that the skin under my eyes has not felt just yet.
My conscience floods with drops that cause my heart to sulk,
dripping one on each grave of those chances not taken,
for all those doubts I've had just to find myself mistaken.

My mind cries tears that the skin under my eyes has not felt just yet.
The streams flow as I sigh, close my eyes and see...
see all the strength that I try to give out to those I love,
but fail to keep some for myself to be able to look Above.

My mind cries tears that the skin under my eyes has not felt just yet.
I try to smile as my human turns away from helping,
knowing in my soul that I could have been the next spark,
but not wanting to possibly hurt and be tossed into dark.

My mind cries tears that the skin under my eyes has not felt just yet.
A tear for all my wrongs done and the ones not yet committed,
because I want to make a difference in my time here,
and want the want to cry over the pain caused by fear.

Who can I help now?
What could I possibly do?
Where can I kneel and bow?
When can I better serve You?
Why do our sins you allow?
How can my strength be made new?

My mind cries tears that Jesus wipes away with one powerful night.
A kiss on each of my cheeks for every tear he sheds...
tears that come because I have come back again,
and because I won't be falling as much as I have been.

It is a wonder.
He was there.
His arms were open,
already outstretched,
before I was even close.


Apologetic

This poem is basically an apology to Jesus for being so awful and for Him to have to come down to save us from Hell. He had to suffer so horribly because we could not see before who God was, and did not live pure lives.

Painful sight.
It tears me to see them tear You.
Scarcely human,
Yet more beautiful than any Iíve met.
I want to rip the nails out,
But I know they have to pierce.
And I canít take You down,
So my eyes bleed streaming tears.
I stretch out my hand...
I want to reach Yours.
I want to grip it...
To bring comfort to Your pain,
Cause I love You too,
And Iím so sorry You had to do this,
So sorry it had to be painful for You...
Because of me...
Because of us.
But You
endure the pain
for me, for us.
The look You give still tells me,
"Itíll be alright."
Through torture You assure me,
"itís all for good."
I look at this blood-thirsty mob You
desire to call Your children.
I look at me
And I whisper, "it has to be."
My mind hears, "I will be back.
I go to prepare a home for you.
Believe in me."
I believe.
Scream,
Darkness...
Come third day, come.
I love You too, Jesus.
Iím still so sorry.
Come Jesus, come.


TOO

This was my sophomore year in high school when I was going through alot of hurt, confusion, and was almost tired of trying to hope and be faithful, because others were making it so impossible. Everyone talked about 'reality', everyone talked about how hard it is to try to do everything right, and they did not see the big picture of our purpose as Christians. I had to see that I myself had to step back and look at the hurt people were going through, and dive in and help, that being part of our purpose.

Too naive to be hurt;
too ignorant to grasp reality;
too awake to see that another perfect day is coming to an end.
Too inexperienced to ask for help;
too nice to be told the truth;
too blinded by selfishness to take a look at others.
Too faithful to see a lie;
too hopeful to be honest to myself;
too confused by my own worry to know if I should be worrying at all.


ONE WORD

This was also my sophomore year. My friend and I were going through some weird times. She was a Christian girl and I was showing interest in her after a while, and she did not feel the same way. After I realized this I felt I kinda got the cold shoulder from her, so I was letting it go, but I just wanted to hear that she loved and cared about me...and wouldn't stop being my friend.

One word holds the key to escape from a world full of hate.
It heals relationships,
and can piece a broken heart together.
One word a change a confused frown into a true smile.
It can repair friendships,
This word can be taken lightly,
but it shouldn't be.
It is seldom used for it's real purpose.
To care...
To comfort...
To make peace...
To show compassion...
To dry tears.
Love.
What a world it would be if we all had it...
and always showed it.


DUSTY BOOK

This is about the Bible, God's Word that was given to us to humble us and show us how we are to live our Christian life. It is not through "oh, God is love so I can go do whatever and I know he'll forgive me", but about giving your life fully to God and about your love and thankfulness to Him after repenting, not just apologizing, for your sins.

So much truth.
So much hope.
So many miracles.
So much...faith.
Reachable only by the inside,
but that reaching to the glories of the incomprehensible:
Heaven.
Open it.


FALLING

This is about giving my full life to God. I was going through some very strange and hard times my sophomore year and finally realized where my heart and mind really needed to be.

I fall into a despair unknown to my mind.
I cannot handle it.
Discouragement covers my head..and I wonder...
Am I giving enough?
Am I being the Christian I should be?
Lord lift me from my falls,
and stumbles.
Know that this is not what I want to be.
My soul screams for resurrection
from this lowly place where I try to find rest.
I know faith in you will rescue from this chasm.
My crawl back up may be soon painful,
but you will lead me...and guide.
Then my fall stops.
So unwise are we as humans...not to learn.
Thank you for your love, God.


EYE

This poem was first about a girl, but while writing it I knew it was more to God in ways. It's about how I wished at that moment that I could see the future...that I wouldn't have to go in fully blind. I saw that I had to, though, in many ways. When the day comes for me to meet the girl of my dreams then I wouldn't be blind to who it is...or Who sent her.

I see you,
not knowing if you see me...
or if I see you at all.
How limited is my song?
How limited is my sight?
I see what I can see,
and can't see what my heart longs for:
Knowledge of Your Heart;
Knowledge of Your Sight.
Until that day I will sing my question;
I will ask that song,
and I will be free.
For where the Lord is...there is freedom.
I will live for Him,
and then will Knowledge and Wisdom come my way;
then will I meet the One;
then will my sight no longer be restricted.
My eyes may then be comforted.
My eyes then may rest.


Truth and Realization

This poem is all about learning to do things a better way. It is about not harboring bitterness, or jealousy, or ignoring someone who you care about. Especially as Christians we need to know of this because of our larger cause in this world. Our cause is not to have a cozy job and a cozy home with cozy kids and a cozy wife/husband, but to serve God and improve life, leading people to Him and doing what we can to make things better.

We dwell in our hurt and immaturity,
allowing the thoughts and actions of past others
and their experiences to dictate our own actions and rationalization....
our own decisions:
decisions that could affect our's and others' attitude and joy,
decisions that could bring a smile to a face instead of just a grin...
or a lowlier frown.
All of us do....all of us do...and none are blameless,
not even the Brockhan.

Then we look and say, "man, I could've done better."
and in memory is there nothing bad,
nothing bad except forgetfulness...
forgetfulness of how good things did feel
how not everything was true, but so much was...
and that God is and was in control.
Then we think, "I dont wanna play with time.
I dont wanna wait anymore.
God is hope.
God wants us to take the letting go
and grip it by the hand,
a sweet grip...letting it know it can go,
but so soft it does not really want to leave."

Then we know, "what can I do to make things...better for others,
and better for myself? and better for....others."

We notice we are small, all of us.
Each of our actions may be small, and our lives small, and our dreams...
but the Creator never said the small was not significant.
Time is small. Time is a friend and an enemy. Time is significant.

One thing we then realize is, "Let me not take time for granted."
God then works in us. Dead in the past are we....
and unsure of the future,
but we know we have now to work...
and with comforting and loving hands joined we dream,
and with God make them true,
and with God we heal ourselves, and more than heal ourselves,
but improve life.


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