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The King of America!

It is now official! I am the KING OF AMERICA! You all have been living in a DEMOCRATIC LIE!!! America is really a MONARCHY!!! HAHAHAHA! I rule from the King's Dominion in VIRGINIA!!! HAHAHAHA! You will all be my faithful DENZINITES!!!

There will NO LONGER BE 50 STATES!!! The USA will now be the KPA (The Kingly Provinces of America!!) and there will be SEVEN provinces:

A small rebellion of the DENZENITES of Druggachussetts has been crushed! My GIANT MURDEROUS ROBOTS have divided Druggachussetts into two NEW states of TayTay and Skroatucky! Skroatucky will remain without a capitol city! It shall be the VOID where all prisoners are EXILED to!

King of America DOWNLOADS!

2/6/03 - Click HERE to download a video of the King's Return to Tessini... this is very funny and has the approval of The Green Meanie. You will all see in full video detail what happens to unfaithful denzenites!

1/26/03 - Click HERE to download the King of America's Training Video for the Bass Off Contest shown on Tessini's favorite TV show, PRIMETIME w/ Robb Zipp & Pals!

1/20/03 - Click HERE to read an interview with the King of America conducted by Northern ChimCham's own EriBarton!

Click HERE to read a interview with the King of America conducted by The Official Fan Boy of Tessini, The Green Meanie!

My Magical Warriors are now converging on Washington DC to DESTROY the White House and The CAPITOL !!! HAAHAHAHAAHA!!!

you have no choice but to except this fate! And those who disobey, I WILL EAT YOU ALL IN A GIANT PEOPLE SANDWICH!!! mwahahahaha!!!!


I have recently relocated to the PROVINCE of CHIM CHAM! I shall construct a New Palace by GIANT MURDEROUS CONSTRUCTO-BOTS! Mwahhahaha!

Here is a map of the NEW KINGDOM of AMERICA (aka The Kingly Provinces of America!)

The History of the Kingly Provinces of America!

In the Inter-State War of 1982, Hawaii decided to declare war on Alaska! Alaska, simultaneously decides to declare war on Hawaii! So they both take each other over to form the United-State of Alaskawaii! Then, a young man rose up and became King of Alaskawaii! He constructed giant Aquatic Robots called Aquabots. They moved the Hawaiian Isles to the coast of Alaska. Then he set forth to conquer the lower 48 states! He succeeds and then builds a castle in Virginia. He then devided the lower 48 states into the Provinces of Chim-Cham, Tessini, Alabama, Virginia, and Druggachussets! All this was kept secret by the Royal Government (under the guise of the U.S. government) until pertinent information on the current provinces was leaked on a 1999 cable comedy show called "Mr. Show". Since then, The King has been training his magical army to go public and officially DESTROY Washington DC, the remnants of the old democracy!

The Royal Anthem has been composed! All DENZINITES will be required to sing the anthem 5 times a day! You must learn and memorize the following lyrics!

The Royal Anthem of The Kingly Provinces of America!

(sung to the tune of "America" from the musical West Side Story, )

He is the King of America! He is the King of America! He is the King of America! He is the King of Amer-RI-CA!

The King will sing this and do a special Kingly Dance at ever royal gathering!

I am the King of America! I am the King of America! I am the King of America! I am the King of Amer-RI-CA!

All DENZENITES that view this page are required to register in the Royal Guestbook below. You must sign or you will again be eaten in a GIANT PEOPLESANDWICH!!!