I don't know about you, but I get atleast 10 email forwards per day. The majority of those forwards are pretty funny. So..I decided to share some of them with ya. If you get as much mail as I do,you've probably already heard these,and if you know of one that should be on this page,lemme know and I'll put it up.
Don't Lie
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his
mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She
had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate
Kathy and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she
started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than
meets the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered,
"I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Kathy and I are
just roommates."
About a week later, Kathy came to John and said, "Ever since your mother
came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver
gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said,
"Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat
down and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not
saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one
has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
John
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Kathy, and I'm not saying that
you 'do not' sleep with Kathy. But the fact remains that if she was
sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Love,
Mom
Lesson of the day: DON'T LIE TO YOUR MOTHER
Hokey Pokey
> Sad News - I don't usually pass on news like this, but sometimes we need
>
> to pause and remember what life is all about: I just learned that
> there
> was a great loss
> last year in the entertainment world.
>
> Larry La Prise, the Detroit native who wrote the song "Hokey Pokey,"
> died
> last year at 83. It was especially difficult for the family to keep
> him
> in
> the casket.
> They'd put his left leg in and...well, you know the rest.
> >>
Tax Season
Tax Season...
Something to remember when your doing your taxes
The only thing IRS has not yet taxed is the penis. This is due to the
fact
that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time
it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it's
in the hole.
It has two dependents, but they're nuts.
Effective January 1, 2000, penises will be taxed according to size. The
brackets are as follows:
10"-12" Luxury Tax
8"-10" Pole Tax
5"-8" Privilege Tax
4"-5" Nuisance Tax
males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains. Anyone under 4" is
eligible for a refund.
PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!
Issues still under consideration are as follows:
Are there penalties for early withdrawal?
Do multiple partners count as a corporation?
Are condoms deductible as work clothes?