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Things To Make You Scream


There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address.


You buy something that you have been craving for days, you rush home and open it up and it suddenly occurs to you "Wait, something's not right here!" Then it hits you, "Oh S*t, No wonder it tastes funny, it's the DIET BRAND!" Duuuuuuuuhhhhh... read the labels next time you buy something in a rush!


You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.


It's bad enough that you step in dog poop but you don't realize it, till you walk across your brand new living room rug.


There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.


You break up with someone and your best friend starts dating them.


You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.


You slice your tongue licking an envelope.


Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a reading.


You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.


The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.


A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling.


You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am.


People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a counter just opening up... you've been waiting for over 10 minutes but they just got there!


You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know or forgot how to spell it.


You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just browsing... but when you really need to ask them something, you can't find one of them anywhere!


You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and now you can't find it.


You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up.


You get bumped off of AOL and can't get reconnected right away and you're in the middle of typing a long email.


You finally meet a guy/girl you really liked but lose the phone number.


You walk into a store and right away everyone looks at you as if you are a thief. --or could it be they've had a bad day and they aren't really thinking that?


You wait till the last minute to do something and find out everyone else did too!


You drive one route for five years and traffic seems to have worsened in time; finally, in frustration, you take a new route. What the hell, it's a little further but less traffic!? Guess what, you are an idea magnet...here comes all the other assholes who "never even thought of it until you did!"


You stand in line fifteen minutes with ten things and another register opens up --suddenly 15 people with nothing in their hand runs up ahead of you!


You put off one bill to pay another you thought was overdue, only to find out later you've overpaid!


You are arguing with your spouse and they follow you from room to room!


Just as you settle back to relax after a long day, here come the in-laws!


You watch TV all night to see a special show, to find it has been pre-empted
-the show in it's place is one you've seen ten times and hated it the first!


You call someone to remind them of something and they end up talking so much that they make you forget what you called for entirely.


You jump in the shower and turn it on, then realize nobody refilled the soap! or you forgot the towel, or the shaving cream, or the wash rag!! --Oh and by the way, the bath mat is still in the dryer or on the clothesline.


You drive for hours looking for someone's house and discover you passed by it at least twenty times, when you finally do find it!


Your In laws come by "for a few minutes" and end up staying for hours!


A friend or relative ask if they can stay at your place "only for a couple of day" and you end up claiming them as dependents on your income tax.


You go to the store to buy something you saw the other day and it was something that you REALLY wanted (didn't have enough money) but when you return to pick it up, the only ones left are the wrong size or have been picked over!


You pull into the service station to fill up and someone's pulls up ahead of you.


You get out of your car to go into a place of business that serves the public; some jerk in the car that "Just pulled up" jumps out and nearly breaks into a world marathon to get ahead of you -and usually does!


Mega Bass, Loud Sound System, Long Red Light, Teen Agers... And they love to stare at the people in the car next to them.


Ahem... need I say more?



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