Guten Tag, ... como esta?
This is the entrance to
CLAY'S REALLY SWELL HOMEPAGE
....this is almost like standing at the gates to Heaven, don't you think? All you have to do to enter is click on the shiny red button at the bottom and you'll be magically transported there through the sorcery of Bill Gates and Microsoft...but first...
WARNING!!!
If you are in any way afraid of midgets, bunny rabbits, Chinese food, moving vehicles, hamsters, inflatable chairs, anything Scottish, root beer, flying elephants, curling irons, Britney Spears, pixie dust, spiders, paper clips, hand puppets, peanut butter, blinking lights, ghost stories, dryer lint, monkeys, giant robots, Japanese humor, rocky road ice-cream, mutant sewer rats, people named , cheese, big words, cheerleaders, green bananas, Alka-Seltzer, ravioli, Mr. Whipple, large boulders, the city of Portland, fake eyelashes, the Eiffel Tower, mini blinds, tofu burgers, Ren and Stimpy, little plastic soldiers, science books, bowling shoes, sno-cones, hail stones, bullfrogs, underwear ads, old tires, strange smells, toilet brushes, or Desi Arnez, then you're a bigger WUSS than I thought, and probably a communist as well! If so, you aren't allowed in this website! No! Go to Discovery Online or Larry Flynt's personal homepage or something... but other wise, just click on the snazzy red button here to enter the Tao of Clayton!