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One day, as I was reading the Fox Mulder message board on the FOX official X Files site, I came across the below message:

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MULDER SUCKS

Written by astronaut on Sat May 30 08:07:43 1998 PST

i hope in the movie that mulder dies a horrinble death and that the smoking man kills him

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And so, I was inspired to create this "Fight The Future Script". And here it is:

(Fox Mulder walks into his office and sits down. Dana Scully walks in)

Scully: Morning Mulder.

Mulder: Hi, Scully. You know, I've been thinking.

Scully: Oh, about what?

Mulder: About the Consortium. And about what that old guy said to you, about how they create the future.

Scully: I'm not sure I follow you.

Mulder: Well, Scully...I think we need to fight the future.

(music starts)

(Scene is now Mulder and Scully in strange old warehouse)

Scully: Mulder, take a look at this.

(it's an alien corpse)

Mulder: It's an alien corpse!

Scully: Mulder, don't jump to conclusions. I'm sure it's just a mutant corpse.

Mulder: No, Scully, this is it! This is our ticket to THE TRUTH!

(Mulder lifts the corpse up and they go to leave. Suddenly, the Cigerette Smoking Man steps out from the shadows).

Mulder: You! What are you doing here?

CSM: I'm here to kill you, Mulder.

Mulder: What??

(Suddenly, Mulder and Scully are ambushed from behind and their weapons are taken. Scully is drugged and left anonymously at the hospital, where she will recover. Mulder, on the other hand, will not be so lucky)

Mulder: Get away from me, you son of a bitch!

CSM: I don't think so Mulder. Heh heh. Wah ha. HHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! Grab him, boys!

(CSM's thugs lift Mulder into the air and carry him into a back room, where he is strapped to a large wooden table)

Mulder: Stop it!

CSM: Your time is up, punk!

(CSM carries the alien corpse over and shoves it in Mulder's face)

CSM: This is an alien corpse, very good. But it's not totally alien. You see, Mulder, it used to be human. It used to be YOUR SISTER!!!!

Mulder: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

CSM: Shut up! And now you're going to eat this corpse!

(CSM breaks off a leg and shoves it into Mulder's mouth, then forces him to chew and swallow it. This continues untill Mulder has consumed the corpse entirley)

CSM: Now, then. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to offer you ketchup.

Mulder: I don't feel goooood.

CSM: That's because it's poison, Mulder. Oh, my, you're getting pale and sweaty. That means you're about to croak.

Mulder, gasping: No...it...ooooh, it can't be...I just need some Pepto Bismal.

CSM: That's a good idea! Boys, bring the Pepto Bismal!

(the thugs get a case of Pepto Bismal)

CSM: Now, then Mulder. Open your mouth.

(Mulder opens his mouth and CSM pours in the Pepto)

Mulder: Gurgle, gulp, gurgle, gulp...oooohhh...

(Suddenly, Mulder's face turns green)

CSM: Tastes good, doesn't it, Mulder? ANd now you're going to drink the whole case.

Mulder: Nooo!

CSM: HAHAHAHA!!!

(Mulder is forced to drink the whole case of Pepto Bismal)

CSM: And you can't throw up! A side effect of that wonderful alien Samantha corpse you ate!

(Mulder looks very sick)

CSM: You should be dead in about 10 minutes, but why wait?

Mulder: oooohhh....

CSM: Look above you, Mr. Mulder!

(Mulder looks up to the ceiling above him and sees a bed of 42 inch long spikes, coated with burning hot lava)

Mulder: Damn...

CSM: When I pull this switch, that thing comes flying down on you!

Mulder: Gaaarrrgh....

(CSM goes to the switch and puts his hand on it)

CSM: Die!

Mulder: No! I have to fight the future!

(CSM pulls the Switch)

CSM: Fight this!

(Mulder is killed)

(Scene changes. Scully is waking up in the hospital)

Scully: Wha, where am I? Where's Mulder?

Nurse: You were left here anonymously.

(Suddenly, Skinner walks into the room)

Scully: Sir! What..?

Skinner: I'm sorry, Agent Scully, but they found Agent Mulder's corpse this morning.

Scully: No! It can't be true!

Skinner: It's true. He's dead. For real this time. Trust me, Scully, it was not a pretty sight.

Scully: Oh, no!

Skinner: Yep. Well, look...I'll understand if you need a few days off. But I'm going to need you to work extra hard now that Mulder's gone. You have to pick up the slack.

Scully: Yes, sir. I understand.

Skinner: See you at the office on Tuesday.

Scully: Yes, I'll be there.

(music starts)

(fade to black)

(credits roll)