| 09-13-05 OH TEXANS, HOW YOU
BREAK MY HEART...
So today was the first real season game
for the Houston Texans, and I have to say I'm even more disappointed
than I thought I would be in this team. Their pre-season
performance was awful, but I have to admit I gave them the benefit of
the doubt. I figured they did so bad because they were testing new
blood and feeling out positions, etc. I guess I was wrong.
This team played worse today than they have since their first season as
a pro team. Luckily, I think I know why...
1. Dom Capers is a weak head
coach.
Notice, I didn't say he was a BAD head coach. Dom Capers has done
some great stuff for teams all over the league. He's even been
good for the Texans overall. He's very disciplined and definitely
knows and understands the game. I think that he is working against very
tough odds, and he isn't strong enough to fight them.
His personality just isn't what we need in Houston right now. We
need a hard-nosed coach who will beat some sense into this
team. Capers is a good democrat, but he's not a powerhouse as
a coach. I don't even know which coach would be better, but we
need something more like a drill sergeant out there. Dom Capers
needs to be let go.
2. Chris Palmer SUCKS at his job.
If there is one person on
the Texans entire staff that I absolutely hate, it's Chris Palmer.
This guy is not only a total dumbass, but he has no guts (and in my
opinion no idea how to call plays). For those of you who don't
know, Chris Palmer is the offensive coordinator for the Texans. He
sits up in a cushy office looking at a notebook and deciding which plays
the Texans offense will run. A very powerful job, as you might
guess, but he SUCKS at it. First of all, he calls the most
anticipated plays in the world: run on first down, run on second down,
play action or shotgun (depending on how first two downs went) on third
down, punt on fourth down. VERY rarely, you will see a change in
this rundown, but almost every time this is how the game goes. The
bottom line here is that Palmer has no guts at all. He'll punt
when it's 4th and inches, he'll run when it's 3rd and 20, I can go on
and on. He got a good gig running plays for this team, and he
knows it. He sits back in his chair and relaxes while the Texans
get hammered game after game after game. Chris Palmer needs to be
fired, tarred, feathered, and hung by his feet in the middle of downtown
Houston while everyone gets to bitch-slap him for being such a douchebag.
3. David Carr is a wuss.
The first season of the
Texans, David Carr got sacked something like 70 times. He took
more hard hits than I've ever seen a quarterback take. And he took
them in stride. He was actually my hero in the world of
quarterbacks, because the majority of them are huge wimps who just cry
in the pocket and hope they don't get hit. So, the second season
comes along, and what happened to David Carr? Suddenly this guy is
running like a chicken as soon as the pocket even hints at collapsing.
He got hurt, and I can understand how that might shake you a little bit
for a while in the future, but that was awhile ago. Watching David
Carr today is like watching a girl play out there on the field.
Whenever the defense hints at a blitz, he freaks out and calls audible.
Even when he does get a good play from that idiot Palmer, Carr is too
frightened to throw downfield. Instead he dumps it off to Dominick
Davis. This is smart playcalling if you can use it, but what good
is a 4 yard screen when it's 3rd and 10? Then, when times do get
tough and Carr does try to go downfield, he throws so tentatively that
it's almost always knocked down or picked off. Where's the power
Carr? I know you're accurate and you have a great arm, why not use
it? Oh, and the thing that pisses me off most about Carr: I saw
this today and it drove me insane... 3rd and 6, Carr breaks out of the
pocket and tries to run for the first down. He gets about two yards away
and people are waiting to take him down. Does he take it like a
man, sacrifice for his team, and get the first? NO. He
slides like a total wuss and forces the punt. Carr has potential,
I don't think he should be fired. He just needs to get the CRAP
knocked out of him... maybe that will wake him up and remind him of what
it takes to be a quarterback and lead a team that desperately needs
leadership.
4. The offensive line is...
well... offensive.
Why did David Carr get
sacked close to 70 times his rookie year? Because his offensive
line wasn't there to protect him. Why can't David Carr ever get
the time he needs to make a pass downfield? Because his offensive
line gets pushed around like a bunch of little schoolgirls. Why
can't Dominick Davis hardly ever break through the line for yardage?
Because his offensive line fails down after down after down. These
guys aren't small, in fact they're some of the bigger linemen I've seen.
But they get taken advantage of almost every down of every game. I
don't understand it. I think part of it has to do with
play-calling, and part of it has to do with the offense not having a
strong leader (ahem, CARR?). Mostly though, I don't ever feel like
the offensive line has a desire to protect Carr or open the lane for
Davis. There are clearly some relationship issues between them...
if they don't like Carr, why should they protect them? Most of
this I look at Carr for, because whenever the line DOES protect him, he
doesn't do his job. He either wusses out and dumps off to Davis,
throws a weak interception, or scrambles like a little baby. In
all honesty, I don't blame the o-line for allowing a sack or two just to
wake Carr up, but for the most part their behavior is inexcuseable.
The entire offensive line needs to go to some deserted island with Carr
and Davis so they can all straighten things out... and if some of them
don't survive, you won't hear me complaining.
5. Most of the Texans players are
dumbasses.
Let me begin with an
example: Today, a receiver was running a slant. He was wide
open, Carr threw the ball to him, and you know what happened? It
bounced off of the BACK of this dude's shoulder. TURN AROUND YOU
STUPID MORON! Where's your stupid head at? Did you forget
you were playing football and think you were out for a jog? How
could you possibly have made it to the NFL making mistakes like that?
Also today, the Texans noseguard (supposedly the "leader" of
the Defensive line) was called for offsides infractions 3 times.
Okay I understand you're excited, but 3 TIMES?? PLEASE!
Where is your head you idiot? Not only are you stupid for letting
it happen to you three times, but you're position has you standing RIGHT
OVER THE FREAKIN' BALL! All you have to do is look at it!
When it moves, you move. Maybe if you weren't making eyes with the
center of the other team and actually had your head in the game, you'd
make a difference. The worst part about this situation is that I
didn't see this noseguard do crap for the team all day. No sacks,
no hurries, he ended up on his ass more than half of the plays.
Oh, he did get called for holding once though. Defensive holding... one
of the hardest things to get called for. Congratulations, you're
even dumber than I give you credit for. I saw three or four times
today the Bills make some nice catches in the middle of triple coverage.
There is no way that anyone should be able to catch anything in triple
coverage. When I can't even see the guy make the catch because
there are so many texans around him, but he somehow still does AND makes
extra yardage... there's something seriously wrong there. Another
thing, we got this Buchanan guy who everyone's talking about because
he's dangerous as a punt and kick returner. I saw him return one
punt today and he got 3 yards. 3. He wasn't even on the field for
the other returns. What is going on here? He's playing
safety, and he didn't do bad I guess, but he still lost several chances
for interception. Glenn was better as a safety and corner than
Buchanan. And we had Moses, what happened to him? He wasn't
bad (could have been better if our special teams knew how to block).
Sadly, the defense is the best unit of our team right now.
There needs to be some serious reshuffling of them though. These
people need to go back to elementary school and learn how to play
football.
6. Those on the team
with potential get stifled.
There are several players on
this team who have a lot of potential, but they never get to use any of
it. The only good player on our team who uses his talent well
every game (too much if you ask me) is our kicker. He has done a
great job for our team from the beginning. As for the rest, they
are left in the shadows because of the problems I've talked about above.
The most obvious one here is Andre Johnson. This guy is one of the
best receivers in the league. He's big, he has great hands, and he
can take a hit. Every time he catches one, it takes more than one
guy to bring him down. He ALWAYS gets positive yardage, and the
majority of the time he does come down with it. However, Andre
Johnson almost never gets any passes. Sure, he's doublecovered,
but he can get out of it. He's proven that he can. David
Carr is just such a wuss that he won't throw it into the coverage.
He doesn't trust Johnson, and that's a huge problem. Every game
you can see the frustration on Andre Johnson's face, and it's totally
justified. I wouldn't be surprised if we see Johnson walk first
chance he gets. The Texans will be in BAD shape then.
Another prime example of a player with great potential who never gets to
use it: Dominick Davis. This guy isn't very big, but he's
very quick and has good eyes on the field. He can pack a punch and
if there's a running lane, he'll hit it and hit it hard.
Unfortunately, there almost never is a running lane. More than
half of Davis' runs come up short because some stupid lineman on our
team runs into him or gets pushed into the lane because he's a wimp.
Davis also has good hands and is always there for Carr when he needs
him, but then where's his blocking? I saw a play today where the
offensive linemen actually stopped even running after Davis caught it.
Davis broke his first tackle and then got smothered because there were
no Texans there to help him out. Davis I think will walk too, or
even worse get hurt. Open your eyes Texans, you're about to lose
your best players. Then what will you do? Oh yes, lose.
Now, you're probably saying "why not
just give up on them and find another team to watch and like?"
Well, I saw what a difference having a football team made in Houston.
I had season tickets for their first season, and I saw and felt the
spirit that came to that city just because of the new stadium and team.
And, I've seen a lot in the Texans that could be good. They have a
lot of potential. But there's some serious work that needs to be
done. Some people need to be fired, some people need to be hired,
and some people need to grow up and stop acting like children and little
girls. I want to say something inspiring here, like "hey go
Texans you'll pull it together for the rest of the season," but I
doubt it. For now, we might as well just get used to losing. |