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- 988.You think a turtleneck is a key ingredient in soup.
- 989.You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
- 990.You think BMW are the call letters for a radio station.
- 991.You think espresso means 8 items or less.
- 992.You think Motorola is a fancy name for a car part.
- 993.You think people that send out graduation announcements are such show-offs.
- 994.You think the blood on the front of your pickup truck looks cool.
- 995.You think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.
- 996.You wake up with chocolate in your ears after spending the night in a fine hotel.
- 997.You wear a belt buckle that weighs more than three pounds
- 998.You're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.
- 999. You're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
- 1000.You've ever been arrested for loitering.
- 1001.You've ever been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
- 1002.You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
- 1003.You've ever entered yourself in a "Howdy Doody Look-alike" Contest. Ya git extra points If ya won!!
- 1004.Your dad is also your favorite uncle.
- 1005.You've ever given rat traps as gifts.
- 1006.You've ever gotten rat traps as gifts.
- 1007.You've ever had sex while wearing work gloves.
- 1008.Your clawfoot bathtub sometimes serves as a hospital for injured fowl.
- 1009.You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table.
- 1010.You've ever had to scratch out your mother's or your sister's name in a message that begins "For a good time call...."
- 1011.You've ever hit a deer with your car...deliberately.
- 1012.You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
- 1013.You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
- 1014.You've ever worn hunter's orange or cammo to church.
- 1015.You've ever worn shorts to a funeral home.
- 1016.You've ever wrestled your mama for the last can of beer
- 1017.Your 6th grade teacher asks you to shave
- 1018.Your and your wife's family reunion are one and the same.
- 1019.Your best coat is a black and red checkered.
- 1010.Your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
- 1011.If you have 100 hubcaps on your house and none on your car.
- 1012.If you get your girl friend a ring out of a buble-gum machine and brag about it to all your friends.
- 1013.You use every cup in your house for a spittoon, and think nothing about it.
- 1014.Your truck cost twice as much as your house.
- 1015.If the earrings you gave your wife for Christmas double as fishing lures.
- 1016.If you've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
- 1017.If the shift knob on your pickup was taken from the tap when the bar closed down.
- 1018.If your throttle cable is now bailing wire.
- 1019.If you go fishing with a generator and copper wire.
- 1020.If you've ever thrown a tailgate party at a tractor pull.
- 1021.If your birthday cards from your kids are signed "Happy birthday Uncle Dad!"
- 1022.You might be a redneck if you think Power Rangers are Ford Pickup Trucks.
- 1023.You sit on the porch watching cars go by, and say "Wunder who dat wuz??"
- 1024.If you dress the kids up to go to K-Mart.
- 1025.If you view duct tape as a long-term investment.
- 1026.If you have ever used a weed wacker inside.
- 1027.If the plastic flamingos in your yard were not placed as a joke.
- 1028.If you think God looks a lot like Hank Williams Jr.
- 1029.If the crack in your windshield is longer than your arm and has been there for more than a year.
- 1030.You hear the phrase 'Take the trash out', you turn around and shoot your mother-in-law.
- 1031.If you have a bathtub in your backyard for a swimming pool!
- 1032.If your date's hairdo gets caught in the ceiling fan. You are most definitely a redneck if it breaks the blades off the fan!
- 1033.If your family is half your town's population!
- 1034.If you've ever gotten a DWI and spent the night in a small town jail.
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