Ma's Journal

By Tennessee

This story follows Mother's Day at the Ponderosa.

Little Joe had had his ma's journal with him all the time since his pa had given it to him. But he had not yet opened it. Ben knew what she had said in her journal; she had shown it to him. She started the journal for Joseph a long time ago. She loved Adam and Eric like they were her own sons, but the journal was for Joseph.

On the first cover she said, "I wrote this journal for my son, who I love with all my heart, Joseph Francis Cartwright, who is the apple of my eye. Joseph, the day I married your pa was the best day of my life. When I saw you for the first time, I had tears in my eyes and your pa kissed me and then you and said 'I love you both so much.' The first time Adam and Eric saw you they called you 'our little brother' and they both called me Ma for the first time. And I kissed them and told them I would love for them to call me Ma always. And they have called me Ma ever since. I told them to never forget about their real ma's and they said they wouldn't. Your pa said they were both too young to know much about their mothers. The more I thought about what your pa said, the more I knew I was going to make sure you know how much I love you."

Inside she wrote, "Joseph, you grow so fast before I knew it you were one year old and walking and into everything. The time passed so fast for the first year. On your 2^nd birthday your brothers made you a cake by themselves. You always wanted to be with your brothers. But we had our ma and son time, too. I would read to you or sing to you every day. And before I knew it you were 3 years old. One time we could not find you anywhere and you were with the horses. You were always into something. Your brothers liked to play horsey with you around the house.

One day my little boy said he was running away. Nobody loved you, you said. And you made it to the front yard before you came running back to your pa and said, 'I love you, Pa.' Your Pa said, 'I love you too, son.'

When you turned 4 years old, you looked up to Adam and wanted to spend all your time with him. Eric asked me why you loved Adam more than him. I said 'Eric, Joseph loves you, too, but right now he thinks his big brother is it.'

The next few years went by fast and before I knew it my baby was 7 years old. And you looked just like your pa. And now you wanted to spend all your time with Eric rather than Adam. You were my little man. Adam and Eric were almost young men. When we moved to Eagle Station and we met the people there, I knew this was where you would become a young man. Your brothers gave you your nickname, Little Joe. And we gave Eric a nickname, Hoss. Joseph, I stopped writing in the journal when you turned 8 years old. You stayed so busy I didn't have time to write."

Little Joe read the journal by his ma's grave and he had tears in his eyes when he finished. He had been gone for hours and Ben went looking for him. He thought about the journal and he knew where Little Joe was. Ben went to Marie's grave and Little Joe was looking at the journal when Ben walked up.

Adam and Hoss were coming home from town when they saw Little Joe and Pa by Ma's grave and stopped. Ben told them to wait. "Son, are you ok?"

And Little Joe said, "I read Ma's journal, Pa." He handed it to Ben.

"I know what's written in the journal, son. Your ma showed it to me."

Little Joe ran to Ben. When he got to Ben something fell out of the journal. Little Joe got it and saw it was a letter from Ma. He asked Ben to read it.

Ben opened it. It said, "To my sons, Joseph, Adam and Hoss: I love you with all my heart. I know one day you three will be great men like your pa."

Adam and Hoss wiped tears from their eyes.

"Your ma loved us all very much," Ben said.

And Little Joe said, "I'm glad she wrote the journal for me."

And Ben said, "This journal will always keep your ma with you forever. When you miss her just read her journal and it will help you." Then Ben said, "Let's all go home."

And they got on the horses and rode home. Little Joe said, "Ma would have loved the Ponderosa."

And Ben said, "Yes, she would have, son."

That night Joe told Adam and Hoss they could read her journal. But Adam and Hoss talked about it and they thought the journal should be just Little Joe's from their ma. And they told Little Joe "No, little brother, that is your and Ma's journal." They said, "We know Ma loved us, but that journal she made for you and just you."

Little Joe said goodnight and he thought about what his ma had written just for him. And he said to himself, "I love you, Ma. I will keep your journal forever and ever." And then he went to sleep with her journal next to him.

The End.