Lost Lamb

By BJ Carter

Rating: G

Adam was still standing where he had been for the past hour, looking into the fire, waiting. He was so spell bound by the fire he did not hear Hoss as he moved up to him from the front door. Hoss cleared his throat and Adam jumped a foot. "Did you find him? Where is he?"

"Hold on Adam", Hoss said, "calm down. No, I didn't find him, but I'll go back first light, I was hoping he was here."

"No, he hasn't showed," Adam shot back at his younger brother with a lot more force than he intended.

The anger and fear in Adam's voice was strong, and Hoss could over look his brother's tone - after all he was fighting the same emotions himself.

Adam moved over and sat in the rocking chair near the fire. Hoss went into the kitchen and poured two cups of coffee for them. Adam barely looked up as he took the cup from Hoss. "Why did I let things get this far?"

Hoss looked at Adam. "You know you ain't to blame."

But before Hoss could say why Adam replied, "Yes, I am. Pa put me in charge and I have failed, plain and simple."

Hoss shot back, "There's no way you could have prevented this Adam."

"Well, maybe part of it," Adam said just above a whisper. "I just don't know how."

"If things don't get straightened out by morning, I don't know what I am going to tell him," said Adam. "After all how do you tell Pa you lost his baby son?"

About that time a booming voice came from behind them. "YOU DID WHAT!"

That was the second time this evening Adam had let someone sneak up on him in his own house, and this time it was Pa.

"Hi, Pa" said Hoss quickly and started over to take his bedroll and coat. "We didn't expect you 'til sometime tomorrow."

"Never mind that, what happened to Joseph?" Ben said trying to keep the irritation out of his voice. Adam still had not moved, his mouth just slightly open as he stared at his father. Hoss was still trying to bring the tension down so he asked Pa about his trip, the horse sell, did he want some coffee - all in one breath.

Ben looked at his second son and said, "Good. Profitable. NO!" He then turned back to Adam, who had finally shut his mouth, and asked in a slow, deliberate tone, "For the last time, where is Joseph?"

Adam looked up at this father and said, "It's kind of a long story, sir."

Ben though to himself, if just once one of my sons would say, no problem, Pa, it will just take a few sentences and you will have the whole story - but that never seemed to happen. "I'm waiting."

Adam looked to Hoss, Hoss back to Adam.

"If I have to ask one more time, I'll be doing it with a strap. TALK!"

Adam took a deep breath and started relating the story of the past few days while Pa had been gone. "After you left Joe became a real pain, he wouldn't do his chores, sassed me, Hoss and Hop Sing. He was even rude to Mrs. Greene when she dropped in." Adam kept going. "Hoss tried to make him behave, I tried, but with all the chores you left for us to do, we didn't have time to fool around with him. We brought the three new mustangs in that we caught on the high mesa and had them in the small corral near the barn. I told Little Joe to stay away from them, they were too wild for him to be near. That just set him off, I guess. He went over to the gate and started in, Hoss yelled at him to shut the gate, but it was too late. The horses bolted out over him."

Pa started to say something, but before he could, Hoss assured him that Joe was not hurt.

Adam continued. "I guess that is when I lost my temper. I grabbed him up, turned him around and swatted his backside as hard as I could."

Ben looked at Adam - his son was talking so fast he did not realize that Adam had stopped.

"And then what happened?" Ben asked.

Adam started again, "Joe turned back and looked at me, I never saw that look before, it was a cross between, 'I hate you' and the shock that I hit him. He took off for the barn, Hoss and I saddled up and went looking for the horses, but by the time we caught them again and got back to the ranch Joe had run off on Paint. I figured he would be back by the afternoon, like he has done before when things were not going his way, but by 4 o'clock, he still hadn't showed. I sent Hoss out to check at the places he usually goes but no luck. I'm sorry Pa." Adam was finally running down. He took a breath and waited for the explosion he thought was coming.

"I can't track him at night. I will leave at first light." With that said, Pa moved quickly into his room and shut the door. The two oldest sons of Ben Cartwright could only look at each other and guess what the morning would bring.

+++

It was still at least a half hour before the sun would be up, but Ben Cartwright was up, dressed and gathering his belongings for the trail. He wasn't sure where he would start, just that he had a feeling that if he rode off he would be heading in the right direction.

The sun was just peeking over the horizon when he started toward the barn. There were three horses saddled and ready and his other two boys mounted and waiting for him. "I don't remember telling you two you could go with me."

Hoss looked at his Pa, kicked his horse and started out, following Adam, who had already started off.

About noon they stopped near the lake to water the horses and eat. Not much had been said, they just moved silently. Hoss was walking over by a clump of rocks when suddenly he saw it. "Pa, Adam, get over here quick!"

There on the ground was a china marble, one of Joe's prized possessions, and on the rock, blood. Pa quickly took the marble, and thought to himself, I knew we would find your trail son.

Little Joe decided he was awake, but there had to be at least ten wild mustangs in his head, all fighting to get out. He was afraid if he opened his eyes they would all rush out at once.

"Grandpa, I think he is waking up," came a female voice not far from where he lay. He could feel the movement of the bed under him and finally he surmised that it was a wagon he was inside. Slowly he opened one eye and then the other. Nothing rushed out of his head, but the pounding was still there.

"Well, boy glad to see you are still among the livin'. Who are you?" the older man asked.

"Joe, Joe Cartwright, mister, and who are you?" Joe in turn asked.

"My name is Bill Allen," he said, "and these are my granddaughters, Fred and Sam."

Funny names for girls Joe thought. Seeing the look on Joe's face, Mr. Allen explained they were easier for him to use than Fredricka and Samantha.

"What happened to me?" Joe asked.

"Well," Fred said, "you fell from your horse. Looks like he bolted for some reason, and ya hit your head pretty hard. Your horse cut his leg on a rock or something. We couldn't leave you there so we brought you along with us."

Joe thought for a minute. "What time is it?"

"About noon," Sam replied.

Couldn't be noon, he had taken off from the house way after noon.

"You have been asleep for almost 24 hours," Fred told him.

TWENTY-FOUR hours! Then this must be Wednesday and Pa is back from the horse sale. Oh no. I may never sit down again was going through Joe's mind.

"You suddenly look kind of like a dying calf in a hail storm, you ok?" asked Sam.

The rain had been falling steadily for hours. They were all soaked to the bone when Pa finally stopped for the evening. The boys hurried as best they could: Adam took care of the horses and Hoss set up the camp. A fire was out of the question, everything was too wet to burn. They ate some bread and cheese for supper.

Finally Hoss asked Pa the question he had dreaded. "Pa what if he isn't in that wagon we're following?"

Ben looked over at his son. "I know this is hard on both of you as it is for me, but I can't let that enter into my thinking now. I just have to find Joseph and then we can deal with everything else when we get home." With that he turned over, pulled the wet blanket closer to him and tried to sleep.

Joe was feeling better now, his head wasn't hurting and he was eating solid food. He had begun to notice that Mr. Allen had lapses, he called him Davy, and he let the girls run the camp most of the time.

That day as they stopped for lunch Joe told them he appreciated their hospitality but he guessed he had better take Paint and get back home.

"Grandpa" as he told Joe to call him only laughed and said, "Davy, you know you are home. Stop this silly talk about going away."

The girls looked at each other and a message was silently communicated. Sam went into the back of the wagon and called Joe in. As he stepped in to the wagon both girls were on him: they had him hogtied and gagged before he could break free. He struggled, but it was plain he was not getting loose from the ropes on him.

Ben and the boys had just topped a small hill when they saw the wagon and the paint pony tied to the back of it. As they rode closer to the wagon Mr. Allen slowed down and pulled his rifle.

"That won't be necessary," Pa said. " I am just looking for my son. He is twelve years old and was riding a paint pony like the one you have on the back of your wagon. His name is Joseph."

Mr. Allen lowered the rifle and said, "No one here by that name, just my grandson and two granddaughters. As for the paint pony found it a few days ago, hurt, took care of it. If it is yours, take it and welcome. We were just about to stop for the evening meal. How about some coffee 'fore you go?"

The Cartwrights dismounted and the boys started helping the girls set up camp. The girls told their grandfather that brother Davy had a headache and was going to stay in the wagon and rest.

As Ben and Mr. Allen sat and talked, he asked, "How long your boy been gone?"

"A few days," Pa replied.

"Sounds like someone's in for a tanning when he gets home," Mr. Allen said with a chuckle.

About that time Adam and Hoss came around and sat down with them. "I bet these two have kept you on your toes raising them, too," he added still chuckling.

Ben replied that they had and said something to the effect that when he got the three of them home they were ALL due for some discussion of consequences in the barn. Adam and Hoss both moved a little sitting on the stools.

Shortly after that they got up and went to look at Paint. Mr. Allen told Ben he knew what it was like raising kids, first his own and now the grandchildren. The grandson and granddaughters probably needed more discipline than they got, but after a certain age it was harder on the tanner than the ones getting tanned, hurt to swing the belt, he said as he continued to chuckle.

"Adam you think Pa was serious about taking us to the barn when we get home?" Hoss asked just barely above a whisper.

Adam replied, "I don't know Hoss, but if we get Joe home safe and sound, I will go without complaint - won't like it, but I'll go."

Hoss knew what Adam meant. After all he just wanted Joe home safe, too.

Joe could hear his father and brothers outside the wagon. He wanted to make enough of a fuss that they would find him but he was tied tight. He finally made some noise and Fred was quick to get up, stating she would check on Davy.

"You better be quiet if you don't want your brothers or pa hurt," she warned. "I got a rifle and I can use it. Sam and I have a plan. You are going to take our brother's place. Grandpa thinks you are Davy and that is all that matters, so be quiet."

Pa didn't quite know why, but he didn't want to leave. Mr. Allen was openly friendly, Paint was going with them, and no one had tired to hide anything - but something gnawed at him.

It was already late when Ben and the boys left the Allen camp. They rode for half an hour and stopped to make their own camp. Once again the boys did the work of setting up camp. Ben on the other hand went over near the fire and started reading his Bible.

It wasn't long before the fire was the only light to see with and Ben's eyes were getting tired.

Adam and Hoss avoided talking, waiting to see if their Pa would tell them what they were going to do next.

Suddenly standing by the fire was a man in a long black robe, shoulder length hair, and soft features. They didn't hear him come into the camp, but he was stood there looking at the fire. "I am sorry to surprise you this way, I saw the fire and came over to get warm," he said. "My name is Father Joseph Smith. I am the priest in this area."

Ben welcomed him and asked if he was hungry and wanted to join them. As he sat watching the boys, Pa introduced himself and Adam and Eric.

"I bet they call you something other than Eric most of the time, don't they?" he said as he smiled at Hoss

"Yeah, they usually call me Hoss," he responded.

"I thought they might, a strong name for a strong young man," the priest added.

As they were talking Pa told him about Joe and how they were at a standstill on what to do next. The priest looked like he was in deep thought. Finally he said, "I was near a wagon earlier today that had a paint pony tied to it. They had a small boy that looked a lot like they child you described. Could it be him?"

"I don't think so," Pa answered, "you see we ran into them also. That is where we got Joe's horse back from, the one over there."

"They had two girls and a boy with them, the older man's grandchildren." Pa added.

The priest did not seem to be finished with the idea. He said, "The only reason it stuck with me I guess was that they called the boy 'Joe' and since my name is the same - oh, well maybe I was wrong."

Pa was on his feet and heading for the horses. "Father, thank you, I didn't feel right about leaving and now I know we have to go back and see for ourselves."

By the time they had saddled the horses and turned back to the priest he was gone.

+++

"When my Pa figures out what you have done, he will be back and you have never seen anything like my Pa when he is mad!" Joe shouted when the gag had been removed.

Fred and Sam had untied his feet and taken off the gag but his hands were still tied. Mr. Allen was out tending to the horses when Pa and the boys rode up. It had taken a while because of the dark, but Pa was not going to stop until he knew for sure if Joseph was in that wagon.

Mr. Allen looked up at Ben. "Howdy, don't get much company on the trail. Come on in, my name is Allen."

"We know your name - it has only been a few hours since we were here," Ben responded.

"Funny, I don't remember that, but come on in anyway, I'll have the girls get some coffee," he said.

"Mister, I don't want coffee, I just want to know if you have my son Joseph in your wagon," Pa said trying hard to hold on to his emotions.

"Of course Joe is in the wagon. Been there most of the day, said he had a headache, probably still from the fall he took of his horse," Mr. Allen remarked like nothing was wrong.

Pa hurried over to the wagon and pulled back the curtain. There sat the two girls and one very happy Joe Cartwright. "PA!"

Ben grabbed him up and Joe thought he was going to break his ribs squeezing him so hard. By that time the boys were with him and each took a turn at holding on to Pa and Joe.

Without warning, Pa suddenly grabbed the older man. "WHY, why didn't you tell me he was here this afternoon when we were here?" Ben said through clenched teeth.

"Mister, I don't know what you are talking about," the older man said. "I don't remember you at all."

"Pa, please, it isn't his fault." Joe pulled at his father's arm. Ben let go of the man and looked at Joe. "He has some kind of spells. He calls me Davy sometimes and then when he is all right, I am Joe again. I don't think he knows when it happens," Joe tried to explain.

Mr. Allen looked over at Pa. "The boy is right, part of my mind went with my strength. I try to be strong for the girls, but since Davy was killed by that horse I seem to be 'away' a lot of the time. I have just been trying to get the girls to California to their parents as soon as I could."

Ben had relaxed some by then and looked over at Joe. "Who tied you up?"

Joe didn't want to tell him two girls had gotten the best of him but there didn't seem to be much choice. Mr. Allen turned to Fred and Sam. "Did you do what he said?" he asked.

They couldn't deny it, everyone had seen it. "I can't tell you how sorry I am for the actions of the girls, Mr Cartwright."

"Well," Pa answered, "you found Joseph and you took care of him, for that I will be eternally grateful."

"If you mean that, can I impose on you for one favor before you leave?" Mr. Allen asked.

++++

As the dawn was reaching up to brighten the day, the four Cartwrights mounted their horses and started on the long trek back home. Mr. Allen had slipped away for just a little while once late that evening, but he was back as they were leaving. "Thanks again, Ben, sometimes it is harder on the tanner - remember that as you get older," he said with a chuckle.

Adam, Hoss, and Little Joe then knew what the sounds they had heard while watering the stock that early morning had been. Fred and Sam would not be sitting much during the next few days of their trip thanks to one Ben Cartwright.

On the way back home they came up on a small community church. The priest came out and welcomed them, asked them to rest and share a meal.

Ben asked about Father Joseph and where they might find him to thank him once again. "I know of no other priest in this part of the territory Mr. Cartwright," he answered. "I could use the help for sure. It is a lot of ground to cover but I do it alone."

Ben took out his Bible that evening and let it open on it's own. It fell to the story about Joseph, the man who had protected and raised another's son. He looked over in the flickering of the fire light at his own "Joseph" and gave thanks.

+++

It was on the second day after they had left the Allen's that they arrived home. Hop Sing was in the garden weeding the plants.

"So, glad you are home, much work to be done," was all he said before going in the house and starting supper. It didn't take long after eating that all four of the Cartwrights were in their beds and even Hoss's snoring kept no one awake.

The next morning as they sat at the breakfast table finishing their meal Pa said, "You know it occurs to me that I have some unfinished business with the three of you." Ben then got up and left, heading toward the barn.

Adam looked at Hoss. "Well, I guess that answers your question, brother, as to if he was serious about taking us to the 'barn' when we got home."

Little Joe's eyes got big and he looked at Hoss. "What is he talking about?"

Hoss didn't answer.

Adam got up and started to the barn. He walked in and there stood Pa with his belt in his hand. Adam looked at him, walked over and gave him a target. He didn't remember ever being hit as hard as that first lick struck and he braced himself for another but nothing happened. He turned and looked at Pa.

"Send Hoss out will you please."

As Adam went back into the house his backside stung, but not like it could have. He told Hoss that Pa was waiting for him.

Hoss, like his big brother before him, braced for the second lick and nothing happened.

"I need Joseph out here now, please."

Little Joe had asked Adam fifty questions waiting for Hoss to come back in but Adam did not respond. As Hoss came in he told Joe that Pa was waitin'.

Hoss looked at Adam and Adam just nodded his head once then went into their bedroom.

Joe went into the barn. Pa was sitting on a bench they used to work on the harnesses. "Well you caused quite a stir running away like you did, son. You want to tell me why this all happened?"

Joe had thought about it the last few days and what he was going to tell Pa but nothing he came up with sounded like a good reason. "I'm sorry Pa, I can't tell you."

Ben reached for his belt.

"Not because I won't," Little Joe said quickly, "because I don't know."

Ben sat back down.

"At first I was just mad at Adam always giving orders, then I was mad at Hoss for siding with Adam, then it seemed like everyone was on Adam's side, even Hop Sing and Mrs. Greene. Then when Adam hit me all I could think of was HE ISN'T PA, he has no right. I really didn't intend to run off for long, just long enough to make them sorry for the way they treated me. I am not a baby anymore after all."

It was hard for Ben not to show how much he wanted to laugh at his 'baby son'. "Did you learn anything from this, Joseph?" Pa asked.

"Yes sir, the most important thing is that you, Hoss and even Adam, love me and would risk everything for me. Oh, and running off is not the answer to any problem, it just made it worse."

"I think you did a little growing out there son," Pa told him. "But you know what is coming, don't you?"

This was the part where Joe was to learn the consequences of his actions.

Ben remembered Mr. Allen saying "sometimes its harder on the tanner." He was right, although he was referring to the physical pain of swinging the belt or the flat of his hand. But Ben was feeling how hard it was on him, too.

+++

Not much more happened that day: the boys worked close to the house and Joe spent most of the day in his room. Pa didn't say much. That evening as they were in the living room, Adam with a book, Hoss and Joe lying on their stomachs on the floor playing checkers, and Pa again reading his Bible, the clock sounded nine o'clock.

"You boys better get to bed. We have missed enough work around here, tomorrow will be a hard day," Pa said.

No one moved.

"I said, GO TO BED." That got their attention. Joe and Hoss started to their room. They said "Good night Pa" in unison.

Adam on the other hand did not move.

"Are you having a problem with the concept of obedience tonight, son?" Pa said with just the slightest touch of humor in his voice.

"No, sir, but I do have a question and I wanted to wait 'til they had gone to bed."

"Ok, Adam ask away," Pa answered.

"At first I couldn't understand why you only hit Hoss and me one time today - not that one time wasn't hard enough I might add. But it still bothered me."

"Sounds like you have come up with an answer." Ben pushed on to see where his son was going with this.

"I got to thinking about Carlos and the stories he told us about the Catholic Church. About how when they had done something wrong they would go and confess to the priest, he would give them penance I think he called it, and all would be forgiven. That is what you were doing, wasn't it? As a kid all it took was coming clean with you, taking my punishment, and I could go on with a clean slate. It is harder now that I am older."

Ben looked at his 'grown' son. "Yes, it is and I am sorry to have to tell you but it does not get easier. When you have a family and you have to be the one in charge all the time you long for the days when a spanking would fix everything and you could start fresh. You two needed a reminder that you still have some things to learn but I wanted you to know the slate is clean between us. Does that make sense, son?"

"What about Little Joe?" Adam asked.

"He had a different lesson to learn and I think he has a ways to go before a single lick will serve the purpose for him. By the way, I told him the next time I left you or Hoss in charge and you felt the need to swat his backside when I got home he was in for the rest of the spanking he missed."

"Sure hope that doesn't happen anytime soon," Adam replied.

"I also told him that when I heard the story, and if the swat was not necessary, I would tan either of you."

With that Adam swallowed hard and looked at Pa: no humor was showing this time. "Now don't you think it is time you obeyed your aging father and went to bed, or do we have to finish what I started this morning?"

"No, sir." Adam quickly got up and started for his room and could not help a fast rub of his backside as he walked across the floor.

Ben looked in to the room where his three sons lay sleeping - different in size, shape, disposition, and character - but all his sons and all three of them back together where they belonged: on the Ponderosa.

Including the lost lamb.

The end