First Love

By Marion

The children poured from the one room schoolroom. It was the last day of school before Christmas and the children were looking forward to their 10-day vacation. Annie and Joe Cartwright whooped with the rest of their classmates when Mr. Taylor dismissed the school with a cheerful "Merry Christmas!" Christmas was only three days away, and Mr. Taylor had been hard-pressed to keep his students focused on their studies. He had finally given up and the afternoon was given over to a Christmas party.

Joe ran over to the horses and began to saddle his pony. Annie followed a little more slowly. She was hoping to get a chance to talk to Mitch Devlin before they left for home. Finally Mitch came out of the schoolroom and stood at the top of the stairs, obviously looking for someone. He spotted Annie and walked over to her.

"Hey, Annie." He looked around, in case someone noticed the two of them talking.

"Hi, Mitch." Annie could feel herself blush, and she was glad for the scarf that covered most of her face.

"Um, Annie. I was wonderin'. Tomorrow's the Christmas Dance, and I thought, well, maybe, if, that is, if. I mean, would you like to go with me?" The last few words were spoken in a rush.

Annie tried not to jump with glee. "Gosh, Mitch. That'd be nice. Except, my uncle's kinda funny, and he won't let me go with a boy." Mitch looked disappointed. "But, that doesn't mean I can't be with you when we get there. I mean, it's not like you're taking me, we just met there, right?"

Mitch's face brightened. It had taken him all week to get up the nerve to ask Annie, and when she said "except" he was afraid someone else had already asked her. "Yeah, that'd be good. My pa'd probably not let me drive the buggy over to get you anyway."

"Hey, Annie!" Joe waited impatiently by the horses. He had saddled both horses while waiting. "Pa's gonna have our hides if we're late tonight. Mitch, wanna go sledding tomorrow?"

"Comin' Joe. See you tomorrow night, Mitch."

"Wanna come sledding with Joe and me tomorrow?" Annie shook her head.

"Mrs. Greene and Tess invited me over to bake cookies for the dance. I gotta go." Annie turned and ran to the horses.

"What'd Mitch want with you?" Annie shrugged.

"He just had a question about, um, Shakespeare." Joe snorted. He knew Mitch loved Shakespeare about as much as he did. "He said he'd see you tomorrow sledding."

The two rode home carefully. The road was a bit slippery and neither wanted to risk laming their horses. As a result they were a bit late getting home. Hoss and Adam had already started on the barn chores, and Ben was waiting impatiently on the porch.

"Sorry we're late, Pa. Mitch had a question for Annie about Shakespeare." Joe snickered and Annie blushed, once again glad for the scarf covering her face. Ben looked at her sharply, then told her that Hop Sing needed her help. She handed the reins to Joe and headed into the house. Ben followed her and helped her with her coat and scarf.

"The road was slippery, too, Uncle Ben. We had to go slow or risk hurting the horses."

Ben's eyes narrowed and Annie felt like he could see right through her. "Hmm. Well, anyway, I saw Margaret today and she asked me to remind you about tomorrow. Hoss can bring you over. Make sure you get supplies from Hop Sing before you go." Annie nodded. "She said you can stay for dinner and then go to the dance with her and Tess. You'll come home with me." Annie thought he put emphasis on coming home with him, but she decided she was imagining things. She hurried over to the cooking area and put on her apron. Hop Sing was already working on dinner.

"Please start chopping vegetables." Hop Sing gestured towards the large pile of carrots and potatoes by the pot. Annie picked up the knife and started working.

Dinner conversation revolved around the upcoming dance. Adam and Mitch's older brother Pete had decided to ask two new girls who lived in the boarding house. They were sisters and the two couples would go to the dance together.

The mention of Pete made Joe remember something. "Pa, Mitch and I want to go sledding tomorrow. Can I?" His father raised an eyebrow. "I mean, may I, if all my chores are done?"

"If your chores are done. Check with me before you go, in case I have any more for you." Ben smiled at the look on Joe's face. "Hoss, I need you to take Annie to the Greene's tomorrow." Hoss looked up grinning. "Then come right home." The grin faded slightly. Well, hopefully he'd get to see Tess for a few minutes anyway.

Annie giggled. She had seen the look on Hoss's face. Her uncle didn't know it, but she had carried several letters between Hoss and Tess. She hoped Uncle Ben didn't find out, either. She thought it was so romantic, almost like Romeo and Juliet, but she knew Uncle Ben would be less than pleased. "Don't worry, Hoss. I'll pay my fare. I'm baking with Mrs. Greene and Tess and I'm bringing home cookies for Christmas."

"So, Pa" Adam looked at his father out of the corner of his eyes. "Bringing anyone special to the dance?" Everyone except Ben laughed.

"As a matter of fact, I am Adam." Everyone stopped laughing. "I'm bringing Annie and Joe." He smiled at the looks on their faces.

"Gee, Annie, I thought you were goin' with Mitch." Joe looked at Annie in surprise. "I mean, isn't that what he asked you after school?" Ben's smiled quickly disappeared.

"Annie, we talked about this."

Now Annie knew she was bright red. She could just pound Joe right now. "Yes, sir. I know we did. I told Mitch that, too." She glared daggers at Joe. She pushed her dessert plate away. "May I start the dishes, Uncle Ben?" He nodded and she got up from the table. Ben and Adam sat by the fire to finish their coffee and Joe and Hoss started playing checkers. When Annie finished putting away the last dish, she looked at Hop Sing who was busy with some dried powders. "Do you need any help Hop Sing?" He shook his head. "Good night, then. I'm tired." Annie headed to the sofa. "I'm tired, Uncle Ben. I'm going to bed if that's all right."

"Are you feeling all right?" Annie nodded. "I'll come in to say good night in a few minutes then."

"Good night, Adam. Good night, Hoss." Annie went through her nightly ritual of kissing Adam and Hoss good night. She stuck her tongue out at Joe, who just looked confused.

Annie quickly changed into her nightgown. She had just started to take out her braids when Uncle Ben knocked on the door and came in. He closed the door behind him, sat on the bed next to her and took the brush from her hand. He had developed a nightly ritual of brushing out her hair and they both enjoyed the time together.

He brushed her hair in silence for a few minutes. "Annie, I don't tell you can't go with boys until you're older just to be mean, you know."

Annie blushed, then wondered if she would ever stop blushing. "I didn't say you did, Uncle Ben. I told Mitch you said I couldn't but he said his Pa probably wouldn't let him drive the buggy in the dark anyway. I said I'd see him at the dance, that's all right, isn't it?"

Ben stopped brushing her hair. "Yes, it is. Just remember, you can't leave the dance with him, you stay inside. Now, scoot under the covers and let me hear you say your prayers." She hurried to obey, then kissed her uncle good night.

"Annie, hurry up! I gotta get back to do all those chores Pa told me to do or I won't get to go to the dance." Hoss stomped off the porch after closing the door quietly. He had the horses hitched up and he was ready to go. Truth be told, he was hoping to spend a little time talking to Tess before he had to get back.

The door opened and Annie came out. Leastways, Hoss assumed it was Annie. It was a short walking pile of packages with a hat. He laughed to watch her inch her way towards the stairs.

"Come on, Hoss, stop laughing and help me. If I trip I'll drop the baking supplies and Hop Sing'll have my hide and you won't have any cookies!" Hoss jumped up at that and grabbed some of the bundles. "Careful with my dress, don't wrinkle it!" Hoss shook his head ­ he had no idea which bundle was the dress.

The wagon was quickly loaded and Hoss helped Annie onto the seat. He jumped up and grabbed the reins. "Hoss, can I drive? I'll bring you extra cookies." Annie whispered. Just then Ben came out on the porch.

"Remember Hoss, come right home. We've got a lot of work to get through today. Don't spend a lot of time flirting with Tess. And don't listen to Annie when she asks if she can drive the horses." The expression on Annie's face told Ben that he had stopped her just in time. "Annie, we'll see you at the dance. Don¹t forget to thank Mrs. Greene."

"I won't Uncle Ben. See you tonight!" Annie turned to Hoss and rolled her eyes. She whispered, "He must think I'm 5 years old!"

Hoss laughed. "Don't let him hear you say that or you'll be staying home tonight. Don't fret, though, he still talks to Adam like that sometimes. I reckon once a Pa, always a Pa." He flicked the reins. "Walk on."

The two cousins enjoyed the trip to the Greene's ranch. Annie loved to be with Hoss. He knew so much about the woods and the animals that lived there. For his part, Hoss loved being with Annie. She listened to every word he said and it felt good to have her look up to him.

He pulled up the reins. "Whoa. There's a good tree, what do you think, Annie?" He pointed to a small pine just off the trail.

She shrugged. "I guess it's a nice tree. It's not that big, though."

"Well, sure, you don't want it to big or it'll never fit in the house."

"Why on earth would you bring a tree into the house?" Annie looked at Hoss like he had lost his mind.

"Ain't you never had a Christmas tree?" Hoss was amazed. Annie just shook her head.

"Papa and I read about them, but we never had one. Have you?"

"Yup. Pa says my Ma ­ not Joe's, that I called Ma, but my real ma ­ first told him about Christmas trees. Ever since we've had one. Even last year after Ma died we still had one. Pa thought she'd be mad at us somehow if we didn¹t. She loved Christmas. She really made it a wonderful day." He sniffled and Annie put her hand on his arm.

"Papa loved Christmas, too. Even if we didn't have a tree, he'd do everything he could to make it special. I'm kinda missing him now, Hoss."

Hoss put his arm around Annie and gave her a squeeze. "Don't worry, little cousin, we'll make it a good Christmas for ya. Come on, we'd best be getting on. Pa'll think I'm spending too much time with Tess." They rode on a few minutes, both lost in their thoughts. "Annie, thanks for bringing the letters to Tess. I know I got no right to ask you, cuz if Pa finds out, he'll be mad at both of us."

Annie smiled. "Then we'd best hope he never finds out! I for one have been in enough trouble lately. It's nice not being in trouble for once." She laughed. "I'm glad to do it. I wouldn't say anything to Uncle Ben, but I think he's being unfair about you and Tess."

"Yeah, well, sometimes he gets like that. But, he says I can ask her to the dance tonight, so I'm glad you told me she wasn't going with anyone. Here we are!" They pulled into the yard of the Greene's ranch. A couple of the vaqueros were heading into the barn.

"Hola, Senorita!" Jose, the youngest of Margaret's hands called out to Annie.

"Buenos Dias Jose. Feliz Navidad!" The two men laughed.

"Feliz Navidad, little miss!" Annie had won a special place in the hearts of Margaret's vaqueros when they found out she could speak Spanish. They were always making her little presents that they would give her whenever she visited Tess and Mrs. Greene. Annie loved seeing them as they reminded her of her life in Santa Barbara. Concetta had spoken Spanish to her all the time, and she could speak it almost as well as English.

Hoss helped her down from the wagon and handed her a few packages. He grabbed the rest and they headed up to the porch. They just reached the front door when Tess opened it. "Hi, Annie." Tess smiled at Hoss. "Hey, Hoss."

"Hi, Tess. I'll, um, just bring these things inside." Annie winked at Hoss as she hurried in the house.

"Hey, Tess, you're looking pretty today." Tess's smile got even bigger. "Annie says you're going to the dance tonight. I was wondering, if you aren't going with anyone else, would you like to go with me? Pa said it'd be okay, if it's okay with your ma. I gotta come and go with him, but we can be together once we're there."

Tess nodded. "I'd like that Hoss. Ma already said it would be okay, in case you asked." Hoss's smile just about split his face.

"Okay. Well, I'll see you tonight then. I gotta go and finish chores. If I don't get everything done, Pa might make me stay home. You know how he is."

Annie headed into the kitchen knowing that Mrs. Greene would already be there. "Good morning, Mrs. Greene."

Margaret looked up from the bowl of dough she was kneading. "Good morning, Annie. How are things at the Ponderosa?"

"Fine, everyone's getting ready for Christmas. I brought some baking supplies with me."

Margaret rolled her eyes. "You didn't have to do that, but I suppose Ben insisted."

"Yes, ma'am. Said if I couldn't bring some flour and sugar then I couldn't come."

Margaret could just picture the stubborn look on Ben's face. "Your uncle is a stubborn man, Annie."

"Yes, ma'am, all the Cartwright men are, but I'm not going to be the one to tell him. I've stayed out of trouble for a couple of weeks now and I'd like to stay out! Where can I hang my dress, Mrs. Greene? Tess has it."

"Put it in Tess's room. You two girls can get dressed together later on." Margaret laughed at the excited look on Annie's face. Annie loved coming to visit the Greenes and pretending she had a big sister. Margaret loved how the two girls got on and thought once again how nice it would be to have two daughters. She shook her head. No chance of that now, but she didn't have time to be sad.

The morning passed quickly. The three women kneaded dough for bread, rolled out piecrusts, cut out cookie shapes and laughed at Annie's stories of Ben and his sons. By the time lunch came, they had filled the dining room table with baskets of goodies, some packed as presents for Margaret's vaqueros, some stored in baskets to take to the dance, some put aside for Annie to take home to her cousins. Tess had made an extra special basket and asked Annie to give it to Hoss on Christmas morning. They ate a hurried lunch of cold meat and bread, then Margaret had to go outside to check on some work the men were doing. "You girls get those casseroles ready, we'll be taking them for the raffle tonight." There was to be a raffle of food baskets at the dance that night. The money raised would benefit the school.

The two girls worked in silence for a few minutes, then Annie looked up.

"Tess, can I ask you something?"

Tess stopped chopping the onions and looked at Annie. "Sure."

"Um, when you were my age, did you think you, well, did you blush a lot when you talked to certain people?"

"Boys you mean?" Annie nodded.

"Sometimes. One in particular. Every time he said anything to me, I'd feel like I was as red as an apple!"

"Didja ever stop?"

"Sure, eventually. Sometimes I still do though." Tess started chopping again, then cast a sideways glance at Annie. "Did he ask you?" She laughed when she saw Annie turn beet red and nod. "Well, what did you say?" Annie had told Tess about Mitch a few weeks ago; she needed Tess's advice on how to talk to him.

Annie shrugged. "Just like I told you before. I told him that Uncle Ben wouldn't let me go to the dance with a boy, but that I could see him at the dance. How old were you before your Ma let you go with boys?"

"Actually it was her father that set the rule, Annie." Both girls jumped. They hadn't heard Margaret come back into the kitchen. "Tess was 15 before he would let boys come calling. But he wasn't as strict as my father was. If a boy wanted to call on me, they had to speak to him first, to get his permission. Then they had to sit in the parlor and call on me while he or my mother chaperoned us. Kept a lot of young men from calling, believe me. But, I think that was my father's plan! Your uncle is just being protective, Annie. Someday you'll be glad he was like that."

"Yes, ma'am. I suppose." Anxious to change the subject Annie started to hum.

"That's a pretty tune, Annie. What is it?"

"It's a new Christmas carol. We saw it in a newspaper and Adam figured it out on his guitar. It was originally French, but he didn't know enough French to sing it that way, so we learned the English words. I think it was written just a year or so ago. I can teach you, if you want. The words go like this...

"O Holy Night, the stars are brightly shining

It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.

Long lay the world, in sin and error pining

Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth.."

The three women worked on as Annie taught them to sing "O Holy Night." They sang well together and soon were harmonizing on different carols. One of Annie's favorites, taught to her by her father, was the Wexford Carol, which he said her mother sang every year. Somehow it made her feel connected to her mother, to sing the same songs she did. Papa had told her that Mama loved Christmas and that's why he loved it too. It was like a little piece of Mama was with them whenever they celebrated. Working with Margaret and Tess, Annie felt like she still carried that piece of Mama, and now Papa with her and always would.

Margaret put one of the casseroles in the oven while Annie and Tess wrapped up the ones for the raffle. "Girls, you'd best get ready before we eat or we'll never get to the dance on time." She shooed them out of the kitchen and the two girls ran upstairs, giggling the whole time.

Annie changed into the beautiful green dress that Mrs. Orowitz had given her. Tess was wearing a new blue velvet dress that had been an early Christmas present from her mother. It had a scooped neck and the hem just about touched the ground. "Tess, it's lovely. Hoss won't be able to keep his eyes off you!"

"Well, Mitch'll definitely want to be at the dance with you when he sees you! Come on, I have the perfect ribbons for your hair." Annie sat in front of the mirror while Tess grabbed the brush and started to brush out Annie's hair.

"Annie, I didn't know you had red in your hair! Let's do it up this way." Tess pulled the front of Annie's hair and braided them close to her head, weaving the ribbons into the braid. "We'll leave the back loose."

"Papa says the red comes from Mama. He had a lock of her hair, and it was a real dark red. I don't really remember what she looked like, and the daguerreotype isn't in color. He said it matched her Irish temper. When Uncle Ben brushes my hair, he says I must have got Mama's hair and her temper."

Once again Margaret was so quiet the girls didn¹t notice her leaning against the doorframe. "Your uncle brushes your hair?" Margaret was amused at the idea of tough Ben Cartwright brushing out his niece's hair.

"Yes, ma'am, every night." Annie's smile faded a little when she saw Margaret's smile. "You won't say anything to him, will you? He might be embarrassed."

"Your secret's safe with me, Annie. Come on girls, dinner's ready."

They soon finished dinner. Mrs. Greene told the girls to just clear the table, not to worry about doing the dishes. She would do them later. They loaded the wagon with all the baskets of goodies ­ there was just enough room for everything to fit. Annie picked up her small bag of wrapped gifts. She pulled out two and put the bag by the front door so she wouldn't forget it.

"Mrs. Greene, Tess, before we go, I have something to give you." She handed Mrs. Greene a larger package wrapped in brown paper. Annie had tied a bow made of yarn to make the package look festive. She handed a smaller package to Tess.

"Thank you, Annie. I have a gift for you in the basket of cookies you're bringing home. Why don't you save it for Christmas morning."

"Thank you, Mrs. Greene. And thank you for inviting me over today, I've had a lot of fun."

"Well, we can't leave you with all those men all the time now, can we?" She opened the package and shook out a dark blue shawl. "Annie, did you knit this yourself? It's lovely." The shawl was knit with such a fine yarn that it looked almost woven. Annie had added matching tassels made with silk thread.

"Yes, ma'am." Annie answered shyly. "I was afraid I wouldn't finish it in time. I'm glad you like it." She turned to look at Tess just as Tess pulled a small beaded bag from her wrapping.

"You didn't make this, too, did you?" Tess ran her finger over the bright blue, green and gold beads. Annie nodded.

"It's a needle case, so you won't lose your sewing needles. I hope you like it."

"Ma, look at this. Like it? Annie, I'll have the prettiest sewing basket in the territory! Thank you!" Margaret admired Annie's handiwork, and then reminded the girls they had to get going or they would be late. They closed up the house then all three climbed onto the wagon seat. They sang more Christmas carols as they rode into town and reached the dance in very festive spirits.

Ben, Joe and Hoss had arrived just before Margaret and the girls. Ben helped Margaret and Annie off the wagon while Hoss helped Tess. Margaret enlisted Joe and Hoss to help unload the wagon; Hoss took special care in loading Annie's baskets into the Cartwright wagon. Annie retrieved her bag with its one last gift and took Uncle Ben's hand as they headed into the dance.

The room was decorated with bright paper decorations the children had made in school and with swags of evergreens someone had hung all around. There were several tables loaded with baskets of goodies to be raffled off that evening and Mr. Taylor was sitting behind one of the tables selling tickets.

Annie looked around, but she couldn't see any of the Devlins. She gave her coat to Uncle Ben, who hung it up with his, and went to see if Mr. Taylor needed help. He didn't, so she wandered around a bit.

"Annie, how lovely you look tonight!" Annie turned to see Mrs. Orowitz coming up behind her. "The dress looks so perfect on you."

"Thank you. I'm so glad you came, I wasn't sure you'd come."

"Well, you celebrated our holiday with us; it seems only right that we should celebrate your holiday with you." The Orowitzs had invited the Cartwrights to share the last night of Hanukkah with them. Mr. Orowitz had told the story of the miracle of the oil so well that Annie and Joe were on the edge of their seats waiting to see how it would end.

Mr. Orowitz joined his wife. "Annie, would you be so kind as to dance with an old man?" His wife laughed and batted his arm.

Annie curtseyed. "Mr. Orowitz, I would be honored." Annie danced the next several dances, first with Mr. Orowitz, then with Uncle Ben and then with each of her cousins. Finally the one person she most wanted to see arrived with his family. By the time Annie danced a few dances with Mitch, she needed to sit down to catch her breath.

Ben watched Mitch bring Annie a glass of punch, then glanced at Hoss dancing with Tess. Margaret was standing next to Ben and followed his line of vision.

"Tess was very happy that you let Hoss escort her tonight, Ben. She's missed seeing him."

Ben nodded. "Well, Hoss has been good about not seeing her when he shouldn't, so I thought I should give him a break. In fact, I was going to talk to you about that. I think we should give them another chance."

"You do?" She hesitated. "Ben, I think you should know, Hoss has been writing to Tess pretty regularly, in secret."

Ben nodded. "I know. Annie's been the carrier." Margaret looked at Ben in surprise.

"You knew and you didn't say anything? That's not like you, Ben."

Ben looked sheepish. "I guess I was feeling a little guilty about separating the two of them. I didn't really see the harm in letting them write to each other. Besides, if I said something to either Annie or Hoss, I would have to punish them and I don't really want to do that. I know Annie; she thought she was doing something romantic, something out of Shakespeare. You know, it's funny. She reminds me of Liz so much sometimes."

"Adam's mother?" Margaret wasn't sure she had ever heard Ben mention his first wife before. Ben nodded.

"Liz was also an incurable romantic. You know, she was just Annie's age when I met her. I had just signed on as a cabin boy aboard her father's ship. I was all of 15 myself. I was quite taken with her." He looked at Annie and Mitch thoughtfully, then turned to look at Margaret. "Would you like to dance?"

Annie and Mitch were talking over their punch when Annie looked at Mitch. "I have a Christmas present for you, I'd like to give it to you."

Mitch looked around. "I have one for you too, but I don't want to give it to you in front of everyone. Let's go outside."

Annie looked around, saw that her uncle was busy dancing and said "okay." She pulled Mitch's present out of her bag and the two of them headed out into the night.

Annie handed him her package, blushing, too shy to look at him. "I hope you like it." Mitch quickly unwrapped the gift and pulled out a long wool scarf. "Thank you, it'll keep me warm all winter."

Mitch wrapped the scarf around his neck then held out his hand. "Here. It's not much." He thrust a small package in her hand. She opened it and pulled out a small hand carved wooden box. "You can put your stuff in it."

"I think it's wonderful. Thank you." Annie looked directly into Mitch's eyes. She leaned forward and he leaned down. He put his arm around her shoulder and kissed her gently on the lips. Annie sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. They stood there for what seemed like forever when suddenly they were pulled apart.

Annie gasped and looked around into Adam's face. He looked as angry as she had ever seen him. "What are you two doing out here? Annie, if Pa knew you were out here, he'd tan you good."

Pete shook his younger brother. "Yeah, Pa'd do the same to you, then give you to Mr. Cartwright."

Annie looked frightened. "Adam, you aren't going to tell Uncle Ben, are you?"

He looked at her for a minute. "No. But if I catch you outside alone again, I will. And, Mitch, I'll thrash you myself. Now get inside." He pushed Annie towards the door. Pete dragged Mitch behind him.

Fortunately, they were able to get inside without anyone noticing them. It was almost time to go home, and Mr. Taylor was calling out the raffle winners. The Cartwrights won a few baskets and Hoss and Adam loaded them onto the wagon.

Ben looked surprised when he saw Adam saddle up to ride home with them. "What happened to the girl you brought, son?"

Adam grimaced. "They were more interested in the Bonner boys than in Pete and me. They left an hour ago."

Annie sat in the wagon, waiting for Adam to let slip that he had caught her outside with Mitch. She knew Adam was right and that Uncle Ben would be very angry with her for disobeying him. But, Adam was as good as his word and he said nothing. She was very quiet on the ride home and went to bed soon after they unloaded the wagon. She put her box on her dresser and spent several minutes admiring it. After Uncle Ben had kissed her goodnight, she thought back on the evening. She sighed. It had been wonderful until Adam found them. She fell asleep, and dreamed sweet dreams all night.

Annie was very quiet during breakfast the next morning. She kept thinking about the night before. She couldn't believe Mitch kissed her! Her first kiss. It was wonderful. Then she would remember the angry look on Adam's face when he pulled the two of them apart. She knew he was right. Uncle Ben would be very, very angry if he knew. She glanced at her uncle while he was talking to Adam and Hoss. She hated to keep a secret from her uncle, but she knew if he found out she'd not be sitting comfortably for Christmas dinner, nor for a good many days after. It wasn't fair, she thought. They hadn't done anything wrong, really. Well, except disobey her uncle. That was pretty bad. But, it was so nice to be alone with Mitch. Why did Uncle Ben make up such silly rules, anyway? Didn't he trust her? But, she thought, she betrayed his trust by sneaking out with Mitch when she knew she wasn't supposed to.

Annie was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear Uncle Ben talk to her. "Anna Marie!" She jumped, panicking that he could somehow read her mind.

"Yes, sir?"

"I said we're going to get our Christmas tree this afternoon, so make sure you get all your chores done early." She nodded, and he looked at her puzzled. He thought she would be more excited about getting her first Christmas tree.

Annie had just finished clearing the table and her cousins had just finished getting dressed to go outside when a knock came at the door. Joe was closest, so he opened the door.

"Good morning, Mr. Devlin, Mitch." Annie looked around quickly, wide-eyed.

She saw Adam look at her and shake his head. Mr. Devlin didn't look too happy and Mitch looked miserable.

"Good morning, Joe, Adam, Hoss. Ben, my boy and I would like to have a word with you, if you don't mind."

"Come in, George. Coffee?"

"No, thank you. This isn't exactly a social call." The three Cartwright boys filed out to finish their chores. Hop Sing took one look at Mr. Devlin's face and decided to help the boys with their chores. Joe closed the door behind him. Mitch and his father took off their hats and stepped closer to the fire.

"Annie, why don't you go into your room for a few minutes so Mr. Devlin and I can talk."

"Actually, Ben, it concerns the girl, too."

Ben frowned, guessing where this was going. "In that case, Annie, come here." Annie sidled towards her uncle, careful to maintain her distance.

"Now Ben, I don't mind the two youngsters enjoying each other's company at the dance when we're there to watch them, but I don't believe they're of an age where they can be left alone. I don't know you real well yet, but I'm guessing from what I've heard that you feel the same." Ben nodded.

"Well, it seems the two of them sneaked outside last night when neither of us was looking. I had told Mitch that I expected him to stay inside the whole time, but he took it on himself to disobey me. I wouldn'ta known but his little sister saw him and Annie being dragged in by Pete and Adam. She told her ma, her ma told me and now I'm tellin' you." Annie watched her uncle carefully, trying to gauge his reaction. What she saw made her very nervous. He didn't look pleased at all. "The boy has somethin' to say to you." Mr. Devlin pulled Mitch's arm to drag him forward.

Mitch looked at his feet. "Mr. Cartwright, I'm sorry. I know what I did was wrong, and my Pa's said if you want to punish me, you can." Mitch glanced up at Annie, his face bright red with shame. Ben looked at the boy for a minute.

"I expect your Pa's already taken care of that, hasn't he?" Mitch nodded. "Well, then, we'll let that stand." Mitch looked a little relieved. "But Mitch, if you want to see Annie, you need to do it by my rules. Except for school, you can only see her when your Pa or Ma is with you, or if I'm there. If I hear otherwise, I won't let you see Annie again, and I might take your Pa up on his offer to punish you. Do you understand, boy?" Mitch nodded and looked up.

"Yes, sir."

"Well, Ben, that's all I wanted to tell you. We'll be heading home now. Sorry to put a damper on your Christmas."

Ben escorted the two Devlins to the door. Mr. Devlin stopped and turned toBen. "Thank you for coming by, George. Come again when you can socialize abit."

"I will, I will. By the way, I understand from Adam that you have a fine stallion. I'm lookin' to improve my horses. I've got a prize winnin' bull.Maybe we can make a trade of stud services next spring." The two men shookhands and Annie watched as they mounted up, Mitch a bit more gingerly than his Pa. Ben closed the door and turned to Annie.

"Seems you and I need to have a talk, young lady."

Ben grabbed Annie by the arm and propelled her to the sofa. She could tell how angry he was by the grip he had on her. Well, she thought, he has every right to be angry. She had deliberately disobeyed him, and now she was likely to pay the price. He sat her down, then turned and stared into the fire for what seemed like forever. Finally, he sat down next to her. "I'd like to hear what happened last night." His voice, quiet and low, belied his anger.

Annie looked at him, then looked at her feet. "It was like Mr. Devlin said."

"Look at me when you're talking to me. I want you to tell me what happened."

Annie lifted her eyes to his. He looked angry, all right. She took a deep breath, bit back her tears and started to explain. "I, that is, um, I had a present for Mitch, and he said he had one for me but that he didn't want to give it to me in front of everyone so he said let's go outside and I said okay. Then Adam and Pete came and Adam told me if I ever did that again he'd tell you and you'd tan me and he said he'd thrash Mitch himself." The words came out in a tumble and she looked down again as soon as she was done.

"We talked about this, didn't we?" Annie just nodded. Ben put his hand under her chin and forced her to look up. "What else happened?" Annie blushed and Ben knew by her look that she had had her first kiss from a boy. The look on her face reminded Ben of the look of another 13 year old who had been kissed for the first time. Ben didn't know why Annie reminded him so much of Liz, except that Liz had been the only other 13 year old girl that Ben had known well. The thought of Liz, and their first stolen kiss brought back a torrent of memories and emotions and Ben could feel his anger weakening.

"Annie, sweetheart," Annie's head jerked up at the unexpected change in tone. "Annie, I know that you are very fond of Mitch, and I know that you like to be with him, but you can't just go with him when you want. I have rules, and Mr. Devlin has rules and you two need to obey them. We are just trying to protect you."

Annie looked confused. "Mitch wouldn't hurt me, Uncle Ben."

Ben scrubbed his face with his hand. How to explain this? "Annie, when two young people who are fond of each other are alone together, sometimes they stop thinking with their heads and start listening to, well, their feelings. Sometimes they do things they shouldn't do."

Now Annie looked shocked. "I wouldn't, Uncle Ben. It was only a little kiss." She blushed furiously.

"I didn't think you would do anything to disgrace yourself, Annie." Ben could feel himself floundering. Maybe he could ask Margaret to talk with Annie again. He wasn't sure he knew what to say to a girl. It had been easier, although not easy, to talk to Adam and Hoss about these things. "But, Annie, right now we're talking about your disobedience last night, aren't we? You knew you were supposed to stay inside the dance hall. I think you felt pretty guilty about it this morning, wasn't that why you were so quiet?"

Annie looked worried. Uncle Ben considered disobedience one of the worst offenses, meriting strict punishment. "Are you going to tan me, Uncle Ben?"

Ben hid his smile. Annie looked so woebegone that he didn't have the heart to tan her, and after all, it was almost Christmas. He struggled to maintain a stern voice. "Don't you think you deserve one?" Annie sniffed and nodded. Annie watched him closely as he thought a minute.

"I'm not going to tan you this time." Annie almost sighed out loud. He lifted her chin again. "But, Anna Marie, you're on fair warning. If I catch you sneaking off with Mitch or any other boy, I'll take my strop to you and to the boy. Do you understand?" Annie's eyes opened wide and she nodded.

"Yes, sir. I understand. I won't do it again, Uncle Ben." Ben nodded, let go of her chin and stood up. He turned back to her.

"You did disobey me, however, and you're going to have to be punished. I think you can spend the afternoon in your room while your cousins and I get the Christmas tree." Annie's shoulders slumped, she had been looking forward to getting her first Christmas tree, but she realized that compared to what could have been, this was fairly mild punishment. "Yes, sir."

"Now, I'm sure you have some chores to do. I need to go see Adam." Ben strode over to the door, put on his coat and was outside before Annie could say anything.

Ben walked across the yard, wondering what he was going to say to Adam. He guessed the boys were still in the barn, doing their chores. They were standing around talking, but they stopped as soon as he entered the barn. He nodded towards the corral. "Adam?" Then he walked out, not stopping to see if his eldest was following.

Ben leaned against the corral fence with his back to the barn. He heard Adam walk up beside him; he turned and saw Adam standing stiffly as though waiting for a lecture. He turned back to the corral.

"It occurs to me that you've been watching out for your brothers since you were five years old. You've always done a good job, and now you're watching out for Annie too. What I'm trying to say, son, is that I can trust you to do what's right. If things happen, I can trust you to handle them without telling me. I can also trust you to tell me if I need to know about something. You handled last night just fine." He smiled as he saw Adam relax.

"I guess Annie's not going to be sitting comfortably for Christmas dinner this year."

Ben shook his head. "No, she'll be sitting just fine. She's to stay home while we get the tree, and I've told her if I hear of her doing this again, sitting won't be pleasant for a very long time. I know, you're thinking that I'm spoiling her, but I'm not so old that I don't remember my first kiss, or the look on your mother's face. I was 15, she was Annie's age and we had sneaked out of her father's house. I had been a cabin boy for your grandfather for about 6 months. Unfortunately for me, he wasn't as understanding as I was today when he caught me and he gave me a hiding I didn't soon forget. But, the kiss was worth the hiding; after all, I'd already had a few of those from him, but I had never kissed Liz before." Ben's voice trailed off, and Adam just watched his father stare off into nothingness. Adam had never thought about it before, but his mother was his father's first love, and even though Pa had fallen in love again after Liz, she would always be his first. Suddenly Ben shook himself from his thoughts. "Come on, we'd best get chores done if we're to get the tree today." He put his arm around his oldest son, around Liz's son, and they headed off towards the barn.

Ben sat on the sofa, staring into the fire. It was late Christmas Eve, and his two youngest were in bed. Annie had fallen asleep while sitting on Hoss¹s lap as Ben had read the story of Jesus' birth. Joe had leaned against his father, and he too soon dozed off. Hoss carried Annie to bed, while Ben had carried Joe. After checking on Annie, Ben joined his oldest two sons in front of the fire. Hop Sing had long since headed to bed. Ben had poured three brandies, handed one to each of his surprised sons and they toasted first Elizabeth, then Inger, then Marie and then finally Ed and Kathleen. "To family, gone but always with us." They then sat quietly, each lost in his thoughts.

Ben looked at the tree. Annie had strung popcorn while confined to her room. Ben smiled to himself. He knew that she realized she had escaped serious punishment by sheer luck, and he suspected she¹d stay out of trouble for a while. She and Joe had a great time decorating the tree; Adam and Hoss hung a few of the ornaments, but mostly they were content to watch the young'uns, as Hoss called them. Now a small pile of oddly shaped packages surrounded the tree ­ presents from Adam, Hoss, Joe and Annie to each other and to Ben. By tradition, Ben didn¹t put presents from him under the tree until after everyone else was in bed.

Ben was startled from his thoughts by the sound of Hoss clearing his throat. "I'm going to bed, Pa, good night."

"Good night, Hoss. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Pa. Good night, Adam, Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Hoss." Adam made no move to stand; he was enjoying his brandy and secretly hoped Pa would pour another for him. As if on cue, Ben held out the bottle. Adam nodded and Ben poured another half glass.

"I suppose it's time I got the presents out, unless you'd rather be in bed, Adam." Adam shook his head. Ben headed into his room and brought out a pile of presents. He shooed Adam away. "You just want to peek, I know you too well, young man." Adam laughed and bowed his head as if to concede that his father was right.

Ben quickly put the presents around the tree and then filled the stocking, making sure Adam's back was turned before he started. Although none of his foursome believed a jolly elf would fill their stockings, none of them were willing to give up the childhood tradition of hanging their stockings by the chimney. For his part, Ben was glad to hang onto the idea that he still had small children, not grown or practically grown ones. That job done, he picked up his glass and sat by the fire once again.

Ben looked over at Adam, his handsome profile silhouetted by the fire. Where did the time go, he thought. Adam was almost 22, a man. Certainly he worked as hard as any man. Ben doubted he would be able to build the Ponderosa were it not for Adam and Hoss. He thought about the present he had for Adam. Ben wasn't sure that a pistol was the best Christmas present, but he knew that Adam would understand that his father finally thought of him as a man. The area was still a wild one, and Adam might be called upon to defend himself or his brothers or cousin from a wild animal, or even, God forbid, another person.

Hoss's present was more benign. Ben had put together a kit of the supplies Hoss needed to tend the animals around the ranch, and even the wild animals he insisted upon tending. He had ordered a book about animal care that he knew Hoss would enjoy as well.

Joe had been an easy person to buy for this year. He had spent hours in town mooning over a new saddle at Big Dan's. Ben wouldn¹t have known about it, but Dan had told him about it at the beginning of October. Dan had held onto the saddle in the back room for more than two months. Ben knew if he brought the saddle to the ranch, Joe would find it. Joe's ability to sniff out presents was legendary. Ben laughed as he thought of Joe¹s attempts to figure out what his present would be.

Annie, too, had been an easy person this year. Ruth had helped Ben pick out the fabric and notions necessary for Annie to make herself several new dresses. She really did enjoy sewing and Ben had to admit, he enjoyed seeing her dressed nicely. He also bought her two new books, Typee by Herman Melville and "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens. He supposed they weren't new for the rest of the world, but they were new to Eagle Station.

Even though Hop Sing didn¹t celebrate Christmas himself, Ben still included him in the presents. Ben had one of Hop Sing's cousins order a goodly supply of Chinese herbs and medicines. Ben realized selfishly that the present was as much for the family as it was for Hop Sing; he relied upon Hop Sing to keep everyone healthy.

After everyone else was asleep, Hoss, Ben and Adam had carried in the last present, ostensibly for Hop Sing and Annie, but really for the entire family. The shiny black stove stood in a corner of the big room, ready to be hooked up in the morning. Ben thought of how Annie and Hop Sing hated cooking over the fire and he knew they would be happy. The year had been a good one, and he decided that improvements to the house should reflect that. In fact, he had already decided that in the spring they would build a couple of additions to the house. He definitely wanted a kitchen, and he thought Adam should have his own room.

The two men sat in silence for a while until the clock chimed 10 and Adam stood up. "Good night, Pa. Are you going to bed yet?"

Ben stood up to stretch but shook his head. "No, but I will soon. Good night, son. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Pa."

Ben sat again, enjoying the silence of the house. He reflected a while on Christmas, past and present. The fire slowly died down, and he stoked it for the night. He went first into his sons' room, and straightened the covers of all three of his little boys. He had to push Joe back onto the bed as he had rolled half off. He brushed Adam¹s hair out of his eyes and tucked the covers around Hoss. Then he checked on Annie, asleep on her stomach, legs hanging off the bed. After closing her door, he stepped out onto the porch. The sky was clear, but there was a ring around the moon. It would snow tomorrow, he thought.

He looked up at the stars and he thought of the time he had told Joe that Marie was one of the stars looking down on them. Joe had picked out a star and decided it was Marie's. The boy had found the idea that his mother was watching out for him very comforting. Ben found that star, then saw four other bright stars nearby. He smiled. Good night, Elizabeth, Inger and Marie, my loves. Good night, Edward and Kathleen. Keep your watch over us, keep us safe.

He wasn¹t sure, but as he went back into the house and closed the door, he would swear he heard a voice quietly calling "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

(The End.)