Name: Wing Commander
Occupation: Produce Intellegence
A bit about: "For the remainder of the evening, call me Wing Commander!" The slightly demented and always willing character got his story through a tragic plain crash. Being a pro pilot, he felt it would be fine to get some shnuggins from the studardist while flying to Iraq. This unscheduled flight was to bring Bush's marines to fight that lovely bitch Saddam and anally rape him just out of spite, and NOT give him the decency of a reach around. Despite all that, he had proceeded to give the stuardist a misty dragon. Shocked and appalled, the stuardist flipped out and hit her head on the throttle, causing the plane to plummet relentlessly to the earth, ending in catastrophical chaos. The death count yielded at 132 people. The only soul survivor, now known to this day, was WING COMMANDER!!! Salvaging scrap metal from the wreckage, he proceeded to fashion miniature wings that he welded (somehow) to the sides of his head. Entrusted with his magic cape and head of wings (which he dealt to his own), Wing Commander now roams the streets trying to convince people that he can fly. His field of offense is a miniature airplane with a bottle rocket attached to it. His field of defense is Cookie, PCC, and Captain Igniter. Cowardly escaping any kind of confrontation, until the confrontation is over, he proceeds to kick his fallen opponent and run while their still down.
Fun characteristics: Tourette's syndrome; Odd blinking/twitching patterns; Clean pussy eater
Super Powers: Bottle rocket airplane (weapon of choice); Ultimate face biting power; Boot to groin connection
Famous Quote: "Wing Commander... take flight!"


Back to Profiles