Chapter One

Sonny was having a hard time adjusting to life back in the real world. He kept remembering the life he had with Brenda and the children they had had together. It was everything he'd always dreamed of having with her, but thought he could never have. He felt like the walls were closing in on him. He wished he could believe what he'd experienced was all a bad dream, but the problem was it wasn't bad. It was the fulfillment of all his most secret hopes, dreams and desires. And now Stone had told him there was still a chance the beautiful dream could still happen and could become reality, but how could it. He was married to Carly and he was Michael's father. How could he ever bring himself to abandon Michael just so he could be with Brenda. The answer was he couldn't. So Stone was wrong. He and Brenda were over and could never be together again. When he had made his choice to let her go, he had sealed his fate.

But that didn't change the fact that he'd been forced to face the truth about his relationship with Carly. He had settled for someone who was easy to be with. Who came from where he came from. Who he was attracted to, but who would never be the great love of his life. What made it even worse was knowing what happened had been real for Brenda, too. She now knew he was wrong. If he had married her, it would have worked between them, so she would no longer buy his excuses on why they couldn't and shouldn't be together. Because now she knew it was all a lie. The only reason they weren't together was because he got scared and cut-and-run.

The only saving grace Sonny could find in the whole thing was he didn't think Brenda knew it had really been him [as he was today] who had experienced all those things with her. She probably assumed it was a fantasy Sonny just the way Sonny had thought she was a fantasy Brenda until Stone told him otherwise. So the next time they ran into each other, he could pretend he didn't know what they had shared together in that alternate existence they had shared together. He was good at pretending. Pretending he was fine when his back was covered in cuts and bruises. Pretending he was happy when he knew he'd never be with the love of his life again. Pretending, pretending, pretending. That's all he ever seemed to be doing these days to the point he couldn't remember what it felt like to feel something real.

Pretending not to know wouldn't change the fact that they both knew the truth. They both remembered the life they shared in that other existence they'd both lived in. The pull to each other would be even stronger than ever. The only thing that had given them the strength to fight it was the belief it would have never worked between them. Now they knew otherwise, so how would they fight it now? What if Brenda started actively pursuing him? How would he stop himself from giving into what they both wanted and hungered for? Was that what Stone meant when he said something was about to rip both of their lives apart. Would they both be unable to resist the temptation to be together and would it end up ripping both their lives apart?

"Sonny." Carly suddenly called to him from the top of the stairs.

He nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of her voice. He'd completely forgotten she was even in the penthouse. "What is it?" He looked up at her.

"I was wondering when you planned to come to bed." She asked, a bit of censure in her voice. "It's getting late."

Yes, he thought to himself, it was late. Too late. When he had made the choice not to marry Brenda, he had sealed his fate. Now this was his life and he'd better learn to be satisfied with it and stop wanting what he knew he could never have again. "I'm coming." He headed up stairs with feet that felt like they were made of lead. This was the life he chose and would have to learn to be satisfied with it again, since it was the only life he knew he could ever have.

Brenda hadn't been able to stop crying from the moment she found herself back in her cottage. One minute she and Sonny were dancing at their daughter's wedding, then someone tapped him on the shoulder and when he turned around he disappeared and Brenda found herself back in her cottage. Afterwards she had fallen into a deep pit of misery, crying out for Sonny but knowing he would never come back to her.

It was over and now she wished she had never taken Stone up on his offer to find out what would have happened if Sonny had showed up at St. Timothy's and gone through with marrying her. Now she knew and what she knew was ripping her apart. No longer could she pretend that it had been the best thing to happen to her for Sonny not to marry her. Now she knew otherwise and she knew she would never find the happiness she could have had with Sonny if only he had had faith in their love and not run from it.

She tried to pull herself together. If she didn't stop giving into this grief over what she'd lost, she was going to have another breakdown. She had to decide what she was going to do about all this or if she was going to do anything at all. Then she had to decide if she intended to go through with the promise she made herself to tell Sonny what she'd been keeping from him since she returned to Port Charles.

Just then, Jax walked in the door. "Brender." He said in a tone that bordered on whining. "Where have you been. I've been calling you all night and I couldn't get an answer. I was terrified something might have happened to you."

In all her ponderings about what she should do, she really hadn't taken Jax into consideration. If she told Sonny her secret, Jax would find out about it, too, and she would lose him. If Sonny knew what she'd done, she could lose him, as well. Did she really want to wind up alone. Wouldn't it be better to keep her secret and keep what she had?

"I'm sorry, Jax, darling." She pulled herself together and smiled at him. "I just needed some time alone so I unplugged the phone. I'm sorry if I caused you any worry."

Jax pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. "Don't ever scare me like that, again. If I ever lost you again, I don't know what I'd do."

Brenda wondered how Jax would handle it if he knew she and Sonny shared a bond that he could never share with her. And if she went through with telling Sonny what she was keeping from him he would know. She also wondered how he'd feel if he knew that she wished with everything in her the man whose arms were around her was Sonny's and not his.

Bobbie kneeled down in front of Ruby's headstone. It was the anniversary of her aunt's death, but that wasn't why she had come to visit Ruby. Stefan had returned to town and she didn't know what to do about that. When Stefan had left town, Bobbie had felt nothing but relief. The guilt she felt over not telling him the truth constantly gnawed at her. The justifications she kept giving herself for keeping the truth from him were beginning to wear themselves thin even to her.

Bobbie suddenly remembered the night she had learned that Stefan Cassadine was the father of her daughter. The night Bobbie had blasted Luke for telling her her daughter was dead, It was then he finally told her why he'd been so against her finding her daughter and why he had lied to her about her being dead. Luke had told her everything, including Helena Cassadine's threats against both her life and the life of her daughter if she hadn't agreed to give the baby up for adoption. Luke also warned her against ever telling Stefan the truth. If she did, there was no telling what Helena might do to both her and Carly. Bobbie hadn't minded at the time, since she was feeling none-too-kindly towards Stefan since he had known Carly was her daughter and had never told her. So why shouldn't she give him a dose of his own medicine. Only now Stefan had returned and her conscience kept nagging at her that it was wrong to continue to keep the truth from him any longer.

"Oh, Ruby." Bobbie sighed to the headstone. "Who would have thought that one decision would continue to haunt me to this day.?"